Single Mom Sabbath: How I rest after I work

It's almost time for bed but I so want to be faithful in this weekly blogging venture in order to offer hope and encouragement for single moms.

So I decided to write tonight about how I actually rest after I work. Often as women it's easy to fall into comparison in many areas of our life. We read magazine articles or online posts about how to do about anything based on another's viewpoints.

I remember the wise words of my mentor Sally Clarkson years ago, " comparing ourselves to others results in feelings of superiority or inferiority."

So tonight I won't tell you how to rest.

I'll only tell you it's a principle in scripture set forth by God. If God decided rest was good, I believe I can trust Him and learn from His example in my own life. Yet, how could I tell you how to rest when scripture doesn't indicate HOW God rested. It only indicates He did. Certainly it means He ceased the work before the rest BUT it never says specifically what the "rest" looked like.

I conclude that because He designed us all uniquely our rest will be our own as well.

This morning I returned home from the 4th annual Mom Heart retreat in our area. Around 20 of us gathered together starting Friday night to celebrate our lives as mom through fellowship , encouragement, and equipping.

We were missing a few here but thankful nonetheless for a sweet memory!

Thank you Ashley and Sydney for amazing worship.

I love how a community of moms celebrate God together.

Our time together each year is unique and beautiful . Yet, there's typically a physical crash after the weekend from expending myself emotionally, physically, and spiritually. The retreat ends early Sunday morning so we can each attend church. I was looking forward to an afternoon nap but  there was a dear friend from the retreat who's problems weighed heavily on my heart.

Upon checking in I with her I realized she was still in a very difficult place so I invited her over  rather than nap . We had a hard but good visit for over an hour.

When she left I had to check the inventory at the store after being away for the weekend to determine what was needed to open tomorrow. Then it was immediately time to leave for life group. We are part of a new life group with old friends so it's really been wonderful to reconnect. As a matter of fact my friend Terri actually participated in this weekend's retreat by cooking delicious food for both Friday and Saturday night. She also brought along two of her daughters who helped with serving and blessed us with an amazing time of worship.

So many may wonder when did I  ever rest. I wanted to share that for myself my rest today came from being in community with other believers. Healthy community is never a work that requires a rest. There may be some tasks to get a dish ready to share but the sharing, fellowship, prayer, and equipping that occurs brings REST to my soul after a weekend of pouring out.

So friends please give yourself grace today for HOW you rest. Sometimes it might be a 5-6 minute cup of hot tea, others might take their rest in an elevator to the next appointment, while other days like today it might look like running to those who care about you and want to invest in your life.

Your soul was fashioned by the creator of the universe...He knows every star by name and the numbers of hairs on your head. and He knows what we need individually to find rest  for our souls be it a time of solitude or community.

Will you today stop comparing how you are prompted to care for your soul. Will you today simply embrace the mandate to "Be still and know that  He is God."

I would love to hear from you the creative ways He brings you rest.

Love, Pam

Single Mom Sabbath: Why I Keep Trying

I'm back....barely.  Today marks day 10 of feeling yucky. Thankfully, I'm one of the ones who fell into the blessing of Obamacare. After 15 years of no insurance I am now insured and on antibiotics for a severe sinus infection. Alabama has seen temps vary in 24 hours by more than 30 degrees. We haven't known whether to wear snow boots or flip flops. Ironically, this weather calls to mind the internal crisis I can incur daily left to my own.

Being sick for so many days while life continues to happen can spiral one into depression quickly. As the sole proprietor of our family business, there is no shutting down due to illness because we want to eat everyday. Therefore someone's gotta go to work.

However feeling bad will allow justification for letting the less important stuff go...folding laundry, cooking, and cleaning. Hence, the idea for today's Sabbath post. I've had my Easter tote of decorations out for over a week. In the attic, I keep a tote for every major holiday and 1000 totes for Christmas:)

I try to split the decorations: taking some to the store to inspire my customers while keeping some at home to continue the tradition for the children of bringing their thoughts toward something more than their cell phones or dinner.

Today Lawren, my oldest daughter, and her husband Brandon are coming for lunch. I never knew how much I would miss her when she got married. They only live about an hour away but they both work full time while she also teaches dance. Our schedules leave time for texts and short phone calls occasionally.

Because they are coming I became motivated to finally empty the Easter tote to bring some beauty into the clutter for lunch today. As I cut the devotion strips, punched holes (btw: I've been looking for our hole puncher for two weeks minimum...finally broke down last night and sent Hannah into Wal-Mart to purchase one because I had already stopped earlier in the week at the Dollar Tree to come up empty handed), hung the devotion cards onto the Easter tree, I questioned myself, "Why do you keep trying?"

Here's the first pic: leftover Valentine decor becomes an Easter Tree but first have to rid the clutter!

Why do I persevere season after season of climbing into the attic, finding and dragging down the appropriate tote, clear off a spot to decorate, and then take it down to start over again? Well, because my first thought is, "If I don't take the time to do this for my  kids, who will?" There isn't anyone else here.

I want my kids to know the importance of tradition and beauty. I want them to know holidays are special and some even sacred and holy. How can they know that if they are not invited in to celebrate?

More than tradition, I want to obey the command in scripture to teach my children. In Deuteronomy 11:18-19

"You shall therefore impress these words of mine on your heart and on your soul; and you shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontals on your forehead. You shall teach them to your sons, talking of them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road and when you lie down and when you rise up."

When I stop a moment to think about all God has rescued me from, how He has redeemed and restored me, His great love for me is written on every page of my story.

We love because God first loved us...1st John 4:19

A love response to God from me is my small effort to impact my children's hearts for the kingdom of God by bringing out the decorations. Their hearts are precious and it is my responsibility and privilege to speak life into them in creative ways. I am trusting that because I keep trying and God is faithful, my efforts will not be in vain.

Final pic: the reason I keep trying: Because God has entrusted these 5 precious soles to this single momma.

Will you consider this morning how the Holy One has rescued, redeemed, and restored you?

Will you ask the Holy Spirit for creativity to pull some items together and place as a focal point to celebrate the Lenten season as we prepare our hearts for Easter.

Yes, it is a little work to get it done, but the result is rest for my soul which is my aim.

Bringing beauty into my home and into our hearts pushes the negative out of  my spirit and replaces with rest of God. Will you try it and tell me about it?

Love, Pam

Single Mom Sabbath

Today marks something new in my writing arena: my attempt to reach single moms with a word of encouragement and inspiration. It is my desire to blog weekly about some of the joys and hardships I've faced the last decade as a single working mother of five. I would especially like to write about how I have found rest as a single mom. Meet the kids and me: 

Left to right: Mary Catherine 20, Hannah Rose 14, John Jay 16, Thomas 12, Lawren 23

This was Christmas Day and we were too lazy to figure out how to set up the camera to include my  new son in law Brandon, who took the picture for us...but stay tuned...He' a dear.  Oh let me at least go ahead and show you a picture of the two love birds:

Mr. and Mrs. Brandon Johnson

Ok, now you know the family...or at least can put a face to a name when I share about them.

After returning last week from a national mom heart conference and speaking to so many beautiful moms who were either in difficult marriages themselves, recently divorced, or trying to determine how best to minister to a hurting friend God placed in their path, I felt it a good time to begin to share from my own pain to possibly help others. 

Tonight I want to expound on the idea of "rest", which can seem like an oxymoron to a single mom. Yet, I'm not talking about necessarily a physical rest but a rest in our spirit from the turmoil of life.

In Matthew 11:28-30 we find the command to rest:

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰ For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

If a command exists because we are burdened then we must believe Jesus knew we would be weary and burdened as mommas. His yoke we are instructed to take and learn from refer to His teachings. Again the command is given to "take" the yoke or teachings. If we are going to "take" something then action is required on our part.

This is why I make the necessary adjustments in my family's life to attend the annual Mom Heart conference each year. I want to take Jesus teachings I receive there because I have learned when I embrace Christ teachings I find rest for my spirit.

I met Christina, another  mom in the process of divorce after attending conferences for over a decade of feeling somewhat isolated as a divorcee. After having the opportunity to share at the conference, Christina found me and we spent the next two hours in the hallway sharing heartache and prayer to continue to rely on God for strength.

God has kept our hearts united via social media and we recently met up again in Dallas.  Meet my lovely friend Christina, former flight attendant...now primary grade teacher and single mom to two precious girls.

I am questioned every year upon returning about my trip. So imagine this: we look for friendships in life with women who value what we value and model a life of faith. In this world if we find a handful of those women as friends, we are blessed. Yet, each year, at the conference, you are in a room with 700 plus women who love God deeply and desire to edify Him through their family...whatever that looks like regardless of your education venue, number of children, denomination, or professional work choices. It is a filling like none other the entire year.

That's why we make the logistical, financial, and time sacrifices to go. Because we believe God's word to be true and take Him at His word. He tells us to rest by taking His teachings so we believe and act on our belief.

A faith walk always requires action on our part. Will you believe you are God's treasured possession today because that's what He says about you. Will you take the action necessary to rest your spirit. A conference in another state might not work right now for you. But today, especially with online bible studies, the opportunities are endless to take God at His word. Take His teachings and receive rest.

I hope you will share below How you are fleshing out these things in your faith walk...and how you are experiencing the rest of God in  your life.

I look forward to hearing from you and sharing with you again soon. Please share these words with any of your single momma friends.

Love,
Pam

Why I Keep Coming Back

I'm just off the end of an incredible weekend from the Mom Heart conference held in Dallas. With little time to process the weekend of inspiration, I hit the ground running Monday morning. Small family run businesses don't wait for attention.

However, one aspect of my time away included the return to writing. Originally I thought I would have plenty of down time at the store to write. Yet, God has seen fit to grow the business leaving me only time to satisfy customers, old and new, as they venture into our little community reststop every day.

So now I'm starting tiny...

A tiny new habit of writing to get back in the swing of sharing all that's bubbling up inside my soul.

Presently I am pressing through a Lenten devotion. I like it because it's short and powerful. Today's passage was Acts 2: 42-47:

"They were continually devoting themselves to the apostle's teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and prayer. Everyone kept feeling a sense of awe; and many wonders and signs were taking place among the apostles. And all those who had believed were together and had all things in common, and they began selling their property and possessions and were sharing them with all, as anyone might have need. Day by day continuing with one mind in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, they were taking their meals together with gladness and sincerity of heart, praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord was adding to their number day by day those who were being saved."

This past weekend at the Dallas Mom Heart Conference this is what occurred:

We devoted ourselves to teaching
and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and prayer
As believers we were together and had much in common in regards to the love for our Lord and our families
We were glad and sincere in heart, praising God 

 For fourteen years I have travelled to spend time with like minded moms, to celebrate the biblical design of motherhood and to grow my faith.

It will most likely take the entire year to process the weekend. But for today I want to share this from my Lenten devotion:

"By Grace, today I fast from the lie that my calling isn't great enough because God isn't calling for people great in skills, schooling, or spotlights---He's calling those simply great in community, in confession, in communion, in courage, great in Christ. Today i will do ordinary things with extraordinarily great love. We repent of wanting to be greater instead of loving greater.

I will keep coming back because it's what I need:

Community

Confession

Communion

Courage

Great in Christ...so I can love greater

Thank you Sally Clarkson, my Mom Heart mentor as well as the tireless servants who fed us so well physically, emotionally, and spiritually this weekend.  We will always keep coming back because it's Jesus that we find year after year...up close and personal. I am eternally grateful for your years of service to thousands of moms across the globe.

More New Beginnings

I love it in the New Year how new beginnings inspire us to do something better, learn something new, change something that's not working, etc. This past year brought new beginnings for our family that I could never imagined. Opening a small business to love and serve our community has been our family's biggest new beginning.

But today there is another: my first magazine article! You can find out more about our story in this edition of Shattered Magazine online here at http://www.shatteredmagazine.net/graves-grocery-community-rest-stop/

Thank you to each of you who have been instrumental in our new beginnings!

May you be inspired to press into your own new beginning.

Love,

Pam

Terms of Endearment

The older I get the more I recognize my need to be affirmed. This can come in many ways but I love words of affirmation.  Occasionally it comes from those around me bringing joy to my heart. Yet, once the good feeling wears off, I need something more substantial to hold onto. I am sharing about that substance in my life today at http://www.itakejoy.com/terms-of-endearment/

Becoming Bold

It started with a check that came in the mail fifteen years ago. I had given birth to my third child, my firstborn son. On a limited income, we hoped to nurse. Yet, quickly, John developed milk allergies keeping him from nursing. The formula needed doubled our weekly grocery budget.

I shared a prayer request during the weekly bible study I attended. The following week a fifty dollar check came in the mail from a bible study classmate. She knew we were struggling financially with this added expense. After receiving some birthday money, she wanted to share it with us.

It wasn't easy receiving the money at first.  I had grown up with the mindset of not sharing your personal struggles with anyone. So embracing  a new way of thinking, "that God might want to take care of me through  His people" was foreign. Yet, it was given with such love and joy.

That one act of giving began a snowball effect that continues to this day. Over the span of the last fifteen years our family has been the recipient of hundreds of gifts ranging from food and diapers to frequent flier miles to attend Mom Heart intensives.

Probably the largest reminder I have of the faithfulness of God to provide for my family is my home. About nine years ago my local church asked permission to do some home repair for me. Married at the time to an over the road truck driver made it hard to tackle repairs at home. I was a homeschooling mom of five ranging from two to twelve.

The church called it the Jerusalem Project. They sent us out of the house for two weeks to complete a "Hallelujah Chorus Task List" which my pastor had requested. What we returned to change our lives forever.

When we returned home there was a welcoming crew of at least 50 who walked us through each room which had been transformed from flooring, paint, to decor. The beauty was breathtaking. I nearly fainted when I saw the deck off the back door which overlooked the river. I had longed for a deck for six years as we could not use the back door because it dropped five feet off the house.

This is the verse the Lord gave to me during the two weeks of waiting while they worked on our home.

Psalm 13:6 "I will sing unto the Lord for He has dealt bountifully with me."

We suspected we were coming home to new flooring and possible painted walls. But we were in awe at the beauty and complete home makeover which became our new home.

We walked into this verse: "Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to the power that is at work within us, to him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever!" There is not a single day I live that I cannot walk into my home and be thankful for all God has done for me and my family.

This season I have realized that as we experience the tangible love of God we become bold.

As we receive and come to know the nature and character of God through the outpouring of His love for us, we are filled with the power of His spirit to walk out what He has called us to in our individual lives.

"For we are His workmanship created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them. "Ephesians 2;10

Experiencing the love of God made me bold enough this summer to start a family business in our community. In June, Graves Grocery: A Community Reststop opened to serve breakfast and lunch to the people in our small community. We are completing our seventh month of business this month.

You can read more about our little place here http://www.waff.com/story/24098447/laid-back-old-country-st#.UqvUkmaw3PQ.facebook

Thus far, having the store has been the most rewarding experience in life other than being a mom. It's like something I waited forever for but did not know I was waiting.

It is an opportunity daily to show the tangible love of God through serving or a kind word. I am trusting God to use me in such a way that, as I share the love of God to my customers, they too become bold.

May you reflect this holiday season on how God has poured out His love for you in your own life. And if there is too much pain to see His love, ask Him to show you. If you belong to Him, He has never left you.

As you reflect on His outpouring of love, may you too become bold.

Have a bold and bright Christmas!

Love, Pam