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| Dallas Momheart Conference 2012 |
After thirteen years of attending Wholeheart Ministries conferences for moms, I returned to Dallas this past weekend for a time of inspiration and fellowship with 800 other like minded moms. The beautiful part was that God went ahead of me and brought other single moms to the conference who encouraged me. It has been so challenging attending as the only single mom for so many years.
I was to prepare a 5 minute talk to answer the following question on Friday. "Pam, share some of the struggles you have had as a single parent." Here was my response:
"You know recently, I find myself coining the phrase, 'I never knew it would be so hard but I never knew it could be so good.' I've been able to identify different seasons of my parenting journey even prior to the onset of working outside the home. Each season had unique challenges; yet I've seen the faithfulness of God in each arena.
For example, during the early years when there were five under the age of ten, life felt very overwhelming. I had a newborn, two and four year old, while trying to homeschool my eight and ten year old daughters.
Some days it felt as though I never left the rocking chair. The demands of so many young children, along with severe financial strain, produced many days of tears and frustrations. Yet, God met me in the midst of those desperate feelings. One day, tearfully, I was sitting in that same rocker looking through my living room windows out across the river when God made Psalm 121:1 come alive to me. 'I lift my eyes unto the hills, where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth.'
Later that same day, as my dear friend Pat and I took off with our older daughters to missions camp, I had hurriedly grabbed the mail on the way out the door. As we stopped for lunch, I opened a birthday card that had come for me. Inside the card, from my college roommate was $40...money to help with our weekend...the very item which had so troubled me earlier from the rocking chair when I cried out to the Lord.
The second season I call the middle years with three primary grade kids and two middle school girls. I was walking through an abusive marriage, an absent spouse which left me feeling like a single parent, homeschooling five kids, lack of financial support, and my sweet Aunt Peg, who brought me to my first conference here in Dallas 13 years ago, was dying with bone cancer.
It was during that difficult season my sweet friend Laura sat on my kitchen bench and said "just hang on" and left me with Matthew 6:34 'Sufficient are the worries unto today tomorrow has enough of its own' and my paraphrase of 2 Cor 3:18 'we are being transformed from glory to glory.' This verse became very important for me to heal and forgive as my marriage was ending. It helped me accept those that hurt us the most trusting God with the outcome.
Finally, this third quarter season of my life with preteens, teens, and young adults in the home has proved equally challenging and equally blessed. I now have a 19 yr old daughter who is presently in Africa on a missions trip and serves as missions intern for our church, a 17 year old daughter who is a homeschooled senior and plans to enter college this fall possibly playing college softball, and three public school children...a seventh grade 6'2" son, a fifth grade daughter and fourth grade son all while I am working 26 hours a week outside the home.
The reality of parenting teens and young adults has been more draining emotionally, physically, and spiritually than I could have imagined. These relationships require alot of late night talks and the welcoming of college students into my home as they question the hard things in life and I get to listen and point them to the sufficiency of Christ. Most days I am completely exhausted but thoroughly exhilarated as I ponder the grace afforded me to speak into the lives of the next generation.
It is the time that Isaiah 55: 8-12 has meant the most to me..knowing the truth of God's word will not return void. All of His promises that have sustained me throughout the various seasons of parenting..like Hebrews 13:5 'I will never leave you or forsake you' and the Phillipians passage 'he who began a good work in each of my children will see it through to completion.'
In looking back over these seasons of life it seems three principles have strengthened my journey:
First, community...walking intimately with others who continually point me to Christ
Second, bible study...whether it's a structured program or meditating on one verse for a whole week.
and finally..these two elements produced the third principle..which is worship.
As the Father reveals Himself to me through His body and His word, my life and heart respond in worship.
I believe these principles will strengthen your mom journey as well. It is my prayer for each of you!
