"On occasion, God lovingly wraps stories of eternity into the circumstances of my life, stories that seem to say, "I was here today." When I read the first words of chapter 8, I immediately knew what I was to share.....but still procrastinated...wanting to postpone once again entering into a painful place.
This has been a difficult week. I have heard, "it's the moon, it's the weather, Mars and Venus are in retrograde, it's bad karma . I just know it's been hard. On a personal level, I have called it a "week of Mondays". Wednesday was the seven month mark of losing the man I loved. Some days it seems like an eternity since he's been gone and other times it seems like yesterday. But physiologically every month around the 27th, my body goes into a mode of sorrow/loss/remembrance.
I have come to believe that there are times that the Father says I am going to take these two people at this particular time and put them together. Because their being together is the best way for them to know me better and glorify me through their lives. I did not know that at the time of the relationship. All I knew is something spiritual was going on that I had never experienced before in my life in the context of a relationship.
The anticipation on the weekly drive up was incredible. Literally time seemed to fly by as I made that trip from Huntsville to Nashville. It became the norm for us to talk many times by cell phone even during the ride up. He never hid how excited he was that I was coming to visit. We would spend the day together and then I would drive back home from Nashville. I would have the ride home to process our enjoyable time together. Our day together would roll through my mind like a moving picture...endearing comments, words of encouragement, silly, fun times shared, etc. It was always just enough to fill up my love tank to keep me going until our next time together.
It was on one of those many trips home, the Lord reminded me that my earthly relationship was a picture of my relationship with my heavenly father. The Father reminded me that He wanted me to run to Him with anticipation of getting to know Him better, spend long periods of time with him. Then when that time alone was over He wanted me to think on all the things he had taught me while together. Finally, that shared experience with my heavenly Father would increase my faithwalk in such a way that it would carry me until our next time when we could be alone again.
During the relationship, there were numerous pictures God gave me along the way and many more after I lost my best friend and the person I had grown to love. I was reminded that Paul wrote throughout the New Testament painting a picture of a healthy relationship between a man and woman; one which mirrored Christ love for His bride: the church. In the manner that Christ gave himself up for us, so we also are to sacrificially love and serve our mates. God afforded us the privilege on earth to enter relationally with others to bring honor and glory to Him.
I truly did not know a love like that existed here on earth. Until I had this shared experience I somehow thought, since we live in a fallen world, we just "settle" here on earth for certain norms: does he have a decent job, what type of family does he come from, etc. What I found to be true though, as I journeyed through, this incredible experience, is that the Father wants to "wow" us. He is indescribably crazily in love with each of us...after all He made us....in His image. More than anything He wants us to know Him....His goodness and love....all of His nature and character. He will go to extreme lengths to reveal Himself to us because He has our best interest at heart and is "for" us. He knows we will be most satisfied as we walk through life depending on Him.
One day I hope to write a book expounding on the relationship principles God taught me through the brief love experience I had here on earth with a man. I found our time together and all that I gleaned to become a "plumbline" of sorts for earthly relationships with men. Amos, a minor prophet from the Old Testament described God's relationship with Israel as a plumbline...a measure of sorts for what His standard of righteousness looks like. God dealt with Israel throughout scripture in a way that was a marked difference from other nations so that we would know what a life of righteousness looks like. Then in the New Testament, we are presented with the life of Christ as the model.
This earthly relationship became a "plumbline" for me. I realized that my own ideals about relationships were skewed. God loved me enough to give me someone with skin on to paint a picture of what Christ really wants for his children, in regards to intimate relationships, here on earth. What I learned during our short time together became the relationship standard for which I will wait should the Father choose to bless me again with the privilege of loving in this way this side of heaven.
A final picture to end this piece is the picture of servanthood. God made us to love and serve. I believe in a love relationship each partner is constantly trying to "out do" the other. Each person is constantly thinking of the other individual's needs and how they can minister most to them. During the last week of my dear one's life we talked daily on the phone. I knew he was ill but had no indication that his life would end. I had visited the previous Sunday and planned to be back on Saturday. On Thursday, just two days before his time here on earth ended, I received a morning text that said "I hope you have the most inspiring day ever." Servanthood never ends. When the Father decides to take me home, may it be said, "She served others right up until the very end".
My challenge to each of you this week is to consider your relationships...whether it be intimate or friendship or both...is servanthood present, is this a person you "can't wait" to be with, is the standard of measurement in your relationship a view or picture of how Christ feels about you. If you cannot answer yes to all then ask the Father to give you a clear picture of what He wants for you and a willing heart to serve and love.
1. Read Hebrews 12: 2-3. What does it mean to consider him, so that we may not grow weary and lose heart? What is the joy set before you? Is it necessarily wrong to grieve and feel sorrow in this life?
2. Read Isaiah 53:3-4. How do you think Jesus feels toward us since he bore our sorrows and carried our grief? If he felt the pain that you feel in your deepest pain, do you think he understands you and is ready to comfort you?
Jesus is our companion in the most difficult place of our lives because he willingly bore our sorrows and carried our grief. He entered into our pain. In prayer, tell Jesus what is difficult for you and ask him to meet you at your point of need.
3. Read Revelation 21:4-5. What does this passage say there will be no more of? What hope does this give to us in our present sufferings? If you really believed what this verse says, how could that provide you joy now? What ways are you counting on this world to be the place where you will get ultimate happiness? When does the Bible say our lives will be painless? How should that change the way we live right now?
The author's prayer:
Dear precious Lord,
Help me to remember that my greatest joy is ahead--being in eternity in the presence of my King, in a place you have prepared for me. Give me strength to endure the crosses before me, even in the pain, for what I can see in the eyes of the Lord lies ahead. Help me to yield all of my present sorrows to you in order to be freer in this life. Please help me to have this perspective of Jesus--for the joy set before me. Thank you for entering into my sorrows and for loving me. I love you. Amen.
Saturday 30 October 2010
Friday 22 October 2010
Chapter 7: Joy Is Made Full When It Is Shared
I really don't know what I would do without my friends. My mom says I have the greatest friends in the world and I believe it. I have spent years of my life in and out of counseling to deal with various life issues only to find myself back now with a wonderful Godly woman to help me process my grief over losing the man I loved. Yet, once I remember a counselor saying it's hard to have more than 5 really close friends at a time, as he held up his hand showing the five fingers. He said, "If you can count this many close friends consider yourself blessed. Anymore than five then the relationships become superficial...rather than transparent. My deepest friendships have remained between three and four and have changed periodically throughout my life.
A while back I blogged on "community". I began an ongoing series on biblical community. How does that look to us? As I mentioned in that post, God has never been alone. In Genesis at creation, the Father, son, and spirit were all present. It is a picture for us as we journey through life, that we as well are not to be alone. God is relational as He relates to His son, His spirit and as He relates to us. Likewise, He has made us relational.
If we have embraced God's presence in our lives and are walking hand in hand with Him, we are able to recognize the gift of friendships He has afforded us. These are the friendships that unconditionally love and accept you no matter how ugly you can get. These are the friendships that don't think any less of you when you vent out of frustration, fear, or insecurity. Furthermore, they are the friends who listen, offer empathy, walk alongside you, and encourage you. They often exhort you but not before they sympathize. These relationships are strengthened by shared struggles and somehow these friends always know just the right words or kind act to minister to me. It's the friendships that regardless of how long circumstances keep us apart, we pick right back up as though we were together yesterday.
When you spend enough time with a person, ask enough questions, and ponder or reflect on the deep things of life, you get to know the person's heart. In deep friendships we hope to discover that, like God, the other person is "for us"...they have our best interest at heart...they are our biggest cheerleader...our number one fan and they are "good" all the time to us...Furthermore, it is their desire to see us succeed in whatever passions the Father is welling up within us...they rally around us to support us, offering either words of encouragement, practical helps, spiritual advice, or prayer support.
You find that when you are with one another there is an energy that calls you to something great.
Recently at a conference in Denver, a speaker said she tried to look for relationships that when she left the person, she either loved God more or knew Him better. What a challenge to each of us! To move beyond the superficial lifestyle and really come alongside another person to journey through life with...the the good times and the bad. Isn't that what Christ would do. He never looked for the easy people to love. He even went out of His way to hang out with sinners. He often turned the other way or had a strong word for the Pharisees. He came for the hurting. When our friends are hurting they need to see the love of Christ. It can get messy and uncomfortable when we commit to go deep but I believe the Father is glorified when we are the hands and feet of Christ to those who are hurting.
It is with great joy that I celebrate the significant friendships the Father has offered me. Each one increases my joy as life is celebrated in the day to day lives we lead whether it be at work, in ministry, or having coffee at a nearby cafe.
Finally I conclude with the aspect of "value". God valued me enough to die. The creator of heaven and earth thought highly enough of Pam to stretch out his arms and surrender to the will of His father God. That sacrificial life-love offering wells up and spills out of my friendships. When one becomes aware of their value in God's eyes, the joy cannot be contained...it pours over into all your relationships....placing value on each person you contact.
Society or culture often sends the message that it is weak to admit your struggles....that it is a sign of weakness to admit you are struggling or need help or don't have all the answers. People find themselves isolating and end up bitter, alone, and resentful missing out on the shared blessings of walking in community. The enemy wants us to feel alone, devalued and unappreciated. Staying in those negative mindsets keep us from being Christ to others and sharing the joy of the Lord through the blessing of friendship...biblical community.
What friendships are you cultivating? If you are isolating, would you ask the Lord who He would have you reach out to? When we belong to Christ, we are called to love and serve regardless of who is ministering to us...it is not about us waiting to get our needs met then reaching out to someone. Furthermore, it is in the midst of our own struggles continuing to think of others..taking the focus off of own self centeredness and focusing on the needs of those around us. I promise...it will bring joy. I hope you will write and tell me about it.
The author's prayer:
Dear Heavenly Father,
It is often so hard for me to love some of those whom you have placed in my life, especially when I feel that I am giving of myself more than they are giving to me. Help me to learn to practice love as Jesus showed me his love. Restore to me the joy that comes from extending your love to others. Thank you for always loving me, no matter what. I really want to abide always in your everlasting love. I love you. Amen.
1. Read John 15:12. How has Jesus loved you? How does that mean you should love others? Is there any relationship in your life which you have not loved the person as Christ has commanded? What can you do to make that relationship right?
2. Read 1 Peter 2:23. If we follow the the model of Christ, what should we do when we find ourselves in an "unfair" relationship, in which we are rejected or harshly treated? Are there any relationships in which you need to follow his example? How can you find joy in those situations?
3. Read Proverbs 17:22. In relationships how can you cultivate a "joyful" heart?Is there anything broken in your spirit? How does loving others and serving them for the sake of the God who serves and loves you, bring healing to your whole body and heart. What steps do you need to take to serve more, give more, and love more practically in order to move into the area of a joyful heart?
4.Commit to practice the following: "I will resolve to love others with the sacrificial love with which I have been loved by God. I will seek to trust him to show his love through me by practicing being a servant and lover of all those he has placed in my arena of life."
A while back I blogged on "community". I began an ongoing series on biblical community. How does that look to us? As I mentioned in that post, God has never been alone. In Genesis at creation, the Father, son, and spirit were all present. It is a picture for us as we journey through life, that we as well are not to be alone. God is relational as He relates to His son, His spirit and as He relates to us. Likewise, He has made us relational.
If we have embraced God's presence in our lives and are walking hand in hand with Him, we are able to recognize the gift of friendships He has afforded us. These are the friendships that unconditionally love and accept you no matter how ugly you can get. These are the friendships that don't think any less of you when you vent out of frustration, fear, or insecurity. Furthermore, they are the friends who listen, offer empathy, walk alongside you, and encourage you. They often exhort you but not before they sympathize. These relationships are strengthened by shared struggles and somehow these friends always know just the right words or kind act to minister to me. It's the friendships that regardless of how long circumstances keep us apart, we pick right back up as though we were together yesterday.
When you spend enough time with a person, ask enough questions, and ponder or reflect on the deep things of life, you get to know the person's heart. In deep friendships we hope to discover that, like God, the other person is "for us"...they have our best interest at heart...they are our biggest cheerleader...our number one fan and they are "good" all the time to us...Furthermore, it is their desire to see us succeed in whatever passions the Father is welling up within us...they rally around us to support us, offering either words of encouragement, practical helps, spiritual advice, or prayer support.
You find that when you are with one another there is an energy that calls you to something great.
Recently at a conference in Denver, a speaker said she tried to look for relationships that when she left the person, she either loved God more or knew Him better. What a challenge to each of us! To move beyond the superficial lifestyle and really come alongside another person to journey through life with...the the good times and the bad. Isn't that what Christ would do. He never looked for the easy people to love. He even went out of His way to hang out with sinners. He often turned the other way or had a strong word for the Pharisees. He came for the hurting. When our friends are hurting they need to see the love of Christ. It can get messy and uncomfortable when we commit to go deep but I believe the Father is glorified when we are the hands and feet of Christ to those who are hurting.
It is with great joy that I celebrate the significant friendships the Father has offered me. Each one increases my joy as life is celebrated in the day to day lives we lead whether it be at work, in ministry, or having coffee at a nearby cafe.
Finally I conclude with the aspect of "value". God valued me enough to die. The creator of heaven and earth thought highly enough of Pam to stretch out his arms and surrender to the will of His father God. That sacrificial life-love offering wells up and spills out of my friendships. When one becomes aware of their value in God's eyes, the joy cannot be contained...it pours over into all your relationships....placing value on each person you contact.
Society or culture often sends the message that it is weak to admit your struggles....that it is a sign of weakness to admit you are struggling or need help or don't have all the answers. People find themselves isolating and end up bitter, alone, and resentful missing out on the shared blessings of walking in community. The enemy wants us to feel alone, devalued and unappreciated. Staying in those negative mindsets keep us from being Christ to others and sharing the joy of the Lord through the blessing of friendship...biblical community.
What friendships are you cultivating? If you are isolating, would you ask the Lord who He would have you reach out to? When we belong to Christ, we are called to love and serve regardless of who is ministering to us...it is not about us waiting to get our needs met then reaching out to someone. Furthermore, it is in the midst of our own struggles continuing to think of others..taking the focus off of own self centeredness and focusing on the needs of those around us. I promise...it will bring joy. I hope you will write and tell me about it.
The author's prayer:
Dear Heavenly Father,
It is often so hard for me to love some of those whom you have placed in my life, especially when I feel that I am giving of myself more than they are giving to me. Help me to learn to practice love as Jesus showed me his love. Restore to me the joy that comes from extending your love to others. Thank you for always loving me, no matter what. I really want to abide always in your everlasting love. I love you. Amen.
1. Read John 15:12. How has Jesus loved you? How does that mean you should love others? Is there any relationship in your life which you have not loved the person as Christ has commanded? What can you do to make that relationship right?
2. Read 1 Peter 2:23. If we follow the the model of Christ, what should we do when we find ourselves in an "unfair" relationship, in which we are rejected or harshly treated? Are there any relationships in which you need to follow his example? How can you find joy in those situations?
3. Read Proverbs 17:22. In relationships how can you cultivate a "joyful" heart?Is there anything broken in your spirit? How does loving others and serving them for the sake of the God who serves and loves you, bring healing to your whole body and heart. What steps do you need to take to serve more, give more, and love more practically in order to move into the area of a joyful heart?
4.Commit to practice the following: "I will resolve to love others with the sacrificial love with which I have been loved by God. I will seek to trust him to show his love through me by practicing being a servant and lover of all those he has placed in my arena of life."
Friday 15 October 2010
Chapter 6: Staying in step with your partner
I put off writing or reading this chapter until the last minute. My thoughts were, "well, that's not going to be much fun...reading about being in step with your husband/partner when I don't have one." So, I simply procrastinated. The Lord gently reminded me as I read, that He is my dance partner. I am his beloved.
Even in a marriage, the choreography of life is led by the couple's heavenly father, when their eyes are upon the Lord. Walking through life with or without a significant other can be very frustrating when we don't seek God in and through the various trials we encounter each day or look for Him in the variety of opportunities presented before us each day.
There was an old praise and worship song called "Sometimes by Step" which we used to sing. Some of the lyrics were:
"Oh God, you are my God
and I will ever praise you.
I will seek you in the morning
And I will learn to walk in your ways
And step by step you'll lead me
And I will follow you all of my days."
Proverbs 3:5-6 says, "Trust in the Lord always. Lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths." When we make God the center of our lives....seeking to know him and depend on him for our needs....all of them...big and small, the circumstances of life seem less overwhelming.
Several years ago the Lord placed a desire in my heart along with my oldest daughter Lawren to go to Poland on a mission trip. Prior to our eight days over there, I had no idea why it was Poland. God was working all over the world but I pressed in. My Aunt Peg, my dad's only sister, was to travel with us, since her bone cancer had responded favorable to the stem cell replacement. So the three us of began raising our support for the trip. It was a substantial amount of money for the three of us to take the trip.
One day while talking to a dear, practical friend, she said, "Well, maybe either Lawren or you shouldn't go so then you are only raising for two....or maybe you should can your beach trip with your mom and use that money for the trip." I really didn't like what she suggested but promised to consider it. When I got off the phone I talked with the Lord. I said, "Lord, I want to go to Poland and I think you want me to go to Poland. But if you don't, I don't want to be any place where you are not right in the center of my activities, so please make it clear. But I believe my friend needs to see you in a new way. Would you please do something for her that would leave no room for her to consider it being anything but from you.
The following Sunday, we put a $200 check in the offering plate towards our trip which had been contributed by a friend and supporter over the weekend. On Monday I received a call from the church secretary to give us a report on contributions. The $200 check was all I was expecting to hear. But to my surprise, four other contributions had come in...one of the four from someone I had not seen in years and another from someone who had not even received a support letter. The total of the four contributions was enough alone for one of us three to make the trip...I am not kidding. As I sat there with my mouth gaping open, I knew the Lord was sending us but also showed up for my friend in a very big way. I couldn't wait to call her with the news.
Our trip ended up being delayed eight months which sadly found Aunt Peg in a declined state of health. The cancer had returned and was not responding to the medicine. Although her faith carried her, she was sorely disappointed in not making the trip. Aunt Peg had made every preparatory team meeting...had bonded with the team...had journaled as she prepared to go...and even shared with me about a song called "Ready" she was recording in her journal. She sang a few lyrics to me to help me remember, which at the moment brought no memory to mind.
Aunt Peg was admitted to the hospital on Sunday a day after we returned from Poland. She passed away later that week. Her presence in our lives is still a huge loss but the imprint she left inspires us to greatness still. Never marrying, Aunt Peg had literally treated both my brother and me as her own children and provided opportunities for us that were difficult for my mom....as a single parent. After my parents divorced she remained an active part of our lives until the day she drew her last breath. She never let the circumstances of life...including divorce...keep her from ministering to us...even regularly thinking of and caring for my mom...always remembering her with something special.
As we planned the memorial service, I was to give a short talk. I recalled the song "Ready" and searched out the lyrics looking for the words to share in the midst of such great loss. I could barely believe the words of the song when I found them.
Ready to suffer grief and pain, Ready to stand the test;
Ready to stay at home and send Others, if He sees best.
Ready to go, ready to stay, Ready my place to fill;
Ready for service, lowly or great, Ready to do His will.
The Father already knew Aunt Peg wouldn't make that trip to Poland with us. He was preparing her even when she didn't know it.
During those eight days in Poland, the Lord took me back to my childhood, apartment neighborhoods I had grown up in, a product of a divorced home, riding the bus to church, just hardship...I saw the pain in the eyes of the kids that were bussed in to hear us talk about God, through a translator....many of which had no restroom in their home...and weren't sure where there next meal was coming from.
By the end of the week I had seen enough but the Lord wasn't finished showing Himself to me....our last venture was to a Red Cross Women's home for single mom's specifically many who were recovering from alcohol and drug addiciton. I had been asked to share my testimony not knowing anything other than what I have shared thus far. When I crossed the threshhold of the door, it was as though I was back in time to entering a transitional living home in Lafayette, LA after a 28 day treatment program for alcohol and drug addiction back in 1988. I had a knot in my stomach that would not go away. As I looked into the eyes of these women...some pregnant, some already mothers of young babies, it was almost an overwhelming reminder of my past life of painful choices.
God was faithful to give me the words to share with these women encouraging them that He alone was enough for each of them as well as their children. As we drove away that day in the bus, He reminded me like a moving picture in my head of all that had transpired during our week in Poland. It took my willingness to go across the ocean to be reminded of how God had rescued me as a child, delivered me from addiction and was now revealing that He would also complete the good work he began in me in spite of divorce and single parenting.
How are you staying in step with your partner...your heavenly Father? What stories do you have of walking with God and seeing Him reveal Himself to you. Who will you share them with. If you can't recall witnessing Him in your everyday life but know Him as Lord, then ask Him to open your eyes to how He is constantly at work all around you in your life...and then like the woman at the well....run and tell everyone.
The author's prayer:
Dear Heavenly Father,
I want to be mature in my faith. Help me not to give attention to the trivial and troubling issues of my life. Please help me to honor you in my mind, by choosing to believe in your goodness and love for me, even in the midst of my stress. Teach me how to abide in your spirit and how to walk with you so that I may experience your joy each moment of my day. In Jesus' name I come. Amen.
1. Read 2 Corinthians 10:5. What does it mean to take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ? Are there any specific patterns of thought (fear, jealousy, irritation, impatience) that you struggle with? How does this rob your joy? What do you need to do to change that pattern?
2. We know that for Christians the fruit of the Spirit is joy (Galatians 5:22). If you are a believer, and the Holy Spirit resides in you, what role does he play in producing the fruit of joy in your life? Is God at work to help you? How can you learn to hear more of his voice of encouragement and wisdom throughout your day?
3. Jesus said, "Do not let your heart be troubles; believe in God, believe also in me" (John 14:1). What regularly troubles your heart? What do you need to believe about God in order to move from being troubled to having his joy?
4. What would it take for you to begin practicing "joy checks"? Practice recognizing all the thoughts and feelings that lead you away from trusting God. Then choose to turn the eyes of your heart upon his goodness and trust in him.
Even in a marriage, the choreography of life is led by the couple's heavenly father, when their eyes are upon the Lord. Walking through life with or without a significant other can be very frustrating when we don't seek God in and through the various trials we encounter each day or look for Him in the variety of opportunities presented before us each day.
There was an old praise and worship song called "Sometimes by Step" which we used to sing. Some of the lyrics were:
"Oh God, you are my God
and I will ever praise you.
I will seek you in the morning
And I will learn to walk in your ways
And step by step you'll lead me
And I will follow you all of my days."
Proverbs 3:5-6 says, "Trust in the Lord always. Lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths." When we make God the center of our lives....seeking to know him and depend on him for our needs....all of them...big and small, the circumstances of life seem less overwhelming.
Several years ago the Lord placed a desire in my heart along with my oldest daughter Lawren to go to Poland on a mission trip. Prior to our eight days over there, I had no idea why it was Poland. God was working all over the world but I pressed in. My Aunt Peg, my dad's only sister, was to travel with us, since her bone cancer had responded favorable to the stem cell replacement. So the three us of began raising our support for the trip. It was a substantial amount of money for the three of us to take the trip.
One day while talking to a dear, practical friend, she said, "Well, maybe either Lawren or you shouldn't go so then you are only raising for two....or maybe you should can your beach trip with your mom and use that money for the trip." I really didn't like what she suggested but promised to consider it. When I got off the phone I talked with the Lord. I said, "Lord, I want to go to Poland and I think you want me to go to Poland. But if you don't, I don't want to be any place where you are not right in the center of my activities, so please make it clear. But I believe my friend needs to see you in a new way. Would you please do something for her that would leave no room for her to consider it being anything but from you.
The following Sunday, we put a $200 check in the offering plate towards our trip which had been contributed by a friend and supporter over the weekend. On Monday I received a call from the church secretary to give us a report on contributions. The $200 check was all I was expecting to hear. But to my surprise, four other contributions had come in...one of the four from someone I had not seen in years and another from someone who had not even received a support letter. The total of the four contributions was enough alone for one of us three to make the trip...I am not kidding. As I sat there with my mouth gaping open, I knew the Lord was sending us but also showed up for my friend in a very big way. I couldn't wait to call her with the news.
Our trip ended up being delayed eight months which sadly found Aunt Peg in a declined state of health. The cancer had returned and was not responding to the medicine. Although her faith carried her, she was sorely disappointed in not making the trip. Aunt Peg had made every preparatory team meeting...had bonded with the team...had journaled as she prepared to go...and even shared with me about a song called "Ready" she was recording in her journal. She sang a few lyrics to me to help me remember, which at the moment brought no memory to mind.
Aunt Peg was admitted to the hospital on Sunday a day after we returned from Poland. She passed away later that week. Her presence in our lives is still a huge loss but the imprint she left inspires us to greatness still. Never marrying, Aunt Peg had literally treated both my brother and me as her own children and provided opportunities for us that were difficult for my mom....as a single parent. After my parents divorced she remained an active part of our lives until the day she drew her last breath. She never let the circumstances of life...including divorce...keep her from ministering to us...even regularly thinking of and caring for my mom...always remembering her with something special.
As we planned the memorial service, I was to give a short talk. I recalled the song "Ready" and searched out the lyrics looking for the words to share in the midst of such great loss. I could barely believe the words of the song when I found them.
Ready to suffer grief and pain, Ready to stand the test;
Ready to stay at home and send Others, if He sees best.
Ready to go, ready to stay, Ready my place to fill;
Ready for service, lowly or great, Ready to do His will.
The Father already knew Aunt Peg wouldn't make that trip to Poland with us. He was preparing her even when she didn't know it.
During those eight days in Poland, the Lord took me back to my childhood, apartment neighborhoods I had grown up in, a product of a divorced home, riding the bus to church, just hardship...I saw the pain in the eyes of the kids that were bussed in to hear us talk about God, through a translator....many of which had no restroom in their home...and weren't sure where there next meal was coming from.
By the end of the week I had seen enough but the Lord wasn't finished showing Himself to me....our last venture was to a Red Cross Women's home for single mom's specifically many who were recovering from alcohol and drug addiciton. I had been asked to share my testimony not knowing anything other than what I have shared thus far. When I crossed the threshhold of the door, it was as though I was back in time to entering a transitional living home in Lafayette, LA after a 28 day treatment program for alcohol and drug addiction back in 1988. I had a knot in my stomach that would not go away. As I looked into the eyes of these women...some pregnant, some already mothers of young babies, it was almost an overwhelming reminder of my past life of painful choices.
God was faithful to give me the words to share with these women encouraging them that He alone was enough for each of them as well as their children. As we drove away that day in the bus, He reminded me like a moving picture in my head of all that had transpired during our week in Poland. It took my willingness to go across the ocean to be reminded of how God had rescued me as a child, delivered me from addiction and was now revealing that He would also complete the good work he began in me in spite of divorce and single parenting.
How are you staying in step with your partner...your heavenly Father? What stories do you have of walking with God and seeing Him reveal Himself to you. Who will you share them with. If you can't recall witnessing Him in your everyday life but know Him as Lord, then ask Him to open your eyes to how He is constantly at work all around you in your life...and then like the woman at the well....run and tell everyone.
The author's prayer:
Dear Heavenly Father,
I want to be mature in my faith. Help me not to give attention to the trivial and troubling issues of my life. Please help me to honor you in my mind, by choosing to believe in your goodness and love for me, even in the midst of my stress. Teach me how to abide in your spirit and how to walk with you so that I may experience your joy each moment of my day. In Jesus' name I come. Amen.
1. Read 2 Corinthians 10:5. What does it mean to take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ? Are there any specific patterns of thought (fear, jealousy, irritation, impatience) that you struggle with? How does this rob your joy? What do you need to do to change that pattern?
2. We know that for Christians the fruit of the Spirit is joy (Galatians 5:22). If you are a believer, and the Holy Spirit resides in you, what role does he play in producing the fruit of joy in your life? Is God at work to help you? How can you learn to hear more of his voice of encouragement and wisdom throughout your day?
3. Jesus said, "Do not let your heart be troubles; believe in God, believe also in me" (John 14:1). What regularly troubles your heart? What do you need to believe about God in order to move from being troubled to having his joy?
4. What would it take for you to begin practicing "joy checks"? Practice recognizing all the thoughts and feelings that lead you away from trusting God. Then choose to turn the eyes of your heart upon his goodness and trust in him.
Friday 8 October 2010
Chapter 5: Reveling in God's Melody of Joy
Once at a staff retreat, someone asks us to name three simple pleasures. They couldn't cost any money. It was some simple moment in life that brought us joy. It's interesting I can only remember a couple of the other folks: clean sheets, a good cup of coffee..But I can still name mine. As I prepared to write today, I thought back to that time and quickly recalled these three simple pleasures: First, I love crossing the bridge to come home. We live on the Tennessee River. So, often a drive home means capturing an incredible sunset, or the activity of watercraft be it recreational boaters over the weekend or a big barge headed to or from Decatur. Not only do I witness the majesty of God through His creation but also crossing the bridge means I am two minutes from HOME...my favorite place to be. There is something life giving about the river. I love the verse from John 7:38 that says, " Whoever believes in me, as the scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him."
My second simple pleasure is....to wash my face each night before I go to bed. There is something about washing away all the busyness of the day, maybe worries or concerns that comes from splashing cold water on your face. I am sure one reason why it is a simple pleasure is I know the day is almost over and I am about to crawl into a warm bed to enjoy a peaceful night of slumber..usually next to my little Hannah Rose.
Finally, my third simple pleasure is carrying in a 40 pound bag of dog food. I still can't believe God made me healthy and strong enough to hoist that bag up onto my shoulder and walk from the van, up the steps, into the laundry room. But it is a great feeling. Last night, John Jay, my almost twelve year old son, insisted on carrying the bag. I almost argued until I realized what a step of maturity this was for him. I could have robbed him of a potential simple pleasure had I not relented. Looks like I might have to find a new pleasure to replace this one.
Point being that these three simple pleasures are moments of joy for me as I celebrate the life God has given me. There are moments each day, if I choose, where I can see His hand whether it be through the hands that are daily chopping and cooking at work or a kind word or smile shared from someone. Yesterday, a sweet customer at worked, handed me a bandaid as she left saying, "I noticed your hand was cut."
I believe the more we come to know about God, the more free we are to enjoy all that He has provided for us. As our relationship with Him deepens, we are freed up from any misconceptions or wrong thinking that have been forced upon us by generational deception, or cultural shifts. If our parents had trouble enjoying the simple pleasures of life, then we might struggle. Culturally, we shift from home to work to a plethora of evening activities...Heaven help us if kids are going in opposite directions to opposite activities. It would be easy to miss the goodness and creativity of God if our minds were focused on anything other than enjoying each ride, job, activity, etc the Lord has before us.
The first chapter of Romans tells us that God has been revealing Himself to us since the beginning of creation..His invisible attributes, His eternal power and divine nature have been clearly seen, being understood through what has been made."
We can see His creativity, His order and His design all around us. Furthermore, as we live a life in Christ, getting to know our heavenly father and becoming more life him (being conformed to his image Romans 8:29 and 30), we too can enjoy a life of creativity, order and design.
The most wonderful aspect is the originality of each of us belonging to him. What is beautiful to each of us varies based on each of our unique personalities. As we better to get to know our Lord, His beauty and design and creativity manifests itself individually through each of our unique personalities. So, we can walk confidently in our passions as we celebrate others as well. This is big....because the tendency often as women, is we want to compare ourselves and our stuff and our creativity etc...to others. When, in reality, each of us has been literally handprinted individually by the hand of God for His beauty to be made manifest in and through each of our lives in unique and individual ways.
What are your three simple pleasures and how is the beauty of God being made manifest through your life. If your life has been programmed by outside voices and or culture, begin today embracing the unique beauty of God through you. Ask the Father to show you what you like and what brings you joy. Because if it is from Him, it will not only bring you joy but joy as well to all around you.
The author's prayer:
Dear God, the Artist and Creator of all that is beautiful in the universe,
Thank you for making creation so beautiful. Please open my eyes and my heart to observe the lessons you would teach me about yourself through nature. Let me be like a child and look with delight at the design, beauty, and elements of nature. Thank you for making my world a place where you intended me to experience pleasure, delight, fun, and deep satisfaction. Help me to understand that apart from finding you as a source of that satisfaction, I will not truly experience lasting joy. Help me to order my life so that I may better experience peace and comfort from being in your creation, amidst the beauty you prepared for me to enjoy.
Questions to consider:
1. Read Psalm 19:1. What are the heavens telling us about God. When was the last time you went outside at night to observe and enjoy the stars in the sky and let your soul fill with awe? How, specifically, can you incorporate more time in your schedule to be in nature and let it speak to your soul?
2. Read Psalm 16:11. What brings pleasure to your life? Do you think God wants you to experience pleasure? On what do you base that knowledge? Are there any ways in which you need to change your opinion about the importance of enjoying life more so that you can feel closer to God?
3. When Job cried out to God and didn't understand why he was suffering so much, God answered by telling him about the beginning of creation when the angels shouted for joy. What was God trying to say to Job?
4. In what ways does your work and life separate you from nature? If Romans 1 tells us that "what God made" gives evidence to his existence, then how important is it to our lives to be sure we place ourselves in the midst of nature, to feel and know his reality?
My second simple pleasure is....to wash my face each night before I go to bed. There is something about washing away all the busyness of the day, maybe worries or concerns that comes from splashing cold water on your face. I am sure one reason why it is a simple pleasure is I know the day is almost over and I am about to crawl into a warm bed to enjoy a peaceful night of slumber..usually next to my little Hannah Rose.
Finally, my third simple pleasure is carrying in a 40 pound bag of dog food. I still can't believe God made me healthy and strong enough to hoist that bag up onto my shoulder and walk from the van, up the steps, into the laundry room. But it is a great feeling. Last night, John Jay, my almost twelve year old son, insisted on carrying the bag. I almost argued until I realized what a step of maturity this was for him. I could have robbed him of a potential simple pleasure had I not relented. Looks like I might have to find a new pleasure to replace this one.
Point being that these three simple pleasures are moments of joy for me as I celebrate the life God has given me. There are moments each day, if I choose, where I can see His hand whether it be through the hands that are daily chopping and cooking at work or a kind word or smile shared from someone. Yesterday, a sweet customer at worked, handed me a bandaid as she left saying, "I noticed your hand was cut."
I believe the more we come to know about God, the more free we are to enjoy all that He has provided for us. As our relationship with Him deepens, we are freed up from any misconceptions or wrong thinking that have been forced upon us by generational deception, or cultural shifts. If our parents had trouble enjoying the simple pleasures of life, then we might struggle. Culturally, we shift from home to work to a plethora of evening activities...Heaven help us if kids are going in opposite directions to opposite activities. It would be easy to miss the goodness and creativity of God if our minds were focused on anything other than enjoying each ride, job, activity, etc the Lord has before us.
The first chapter of Romans tells us that God has been revealing Himself to us since the beginning of creation..His invisible attributes, His eternal power and divine nature have been clearly seen, being understood through what has been made."
We can see His creativity, His order and His design all around us. Furthermore, as we live a life in Christ, getting to know our heavenly father and becoming more life him (being conformed to his image Romans 8:29 and 30), we too can enjoy a life of creativity, order and design.
The most wonderful aspect is the originality of each of us belonging to him. What is beautiful to each of us varies based on each of our unique personalities. As we better to get to know our Lord, His beauty and design and creativity manifests itself individually through each of our unique personalities. So, we can walk confidently in our passions as we celebrate others as well. This is big....because the tendency often as women, is we want to compare ourselves and our stuff and our creativity etc...to others. When, in reality, each of us has been literally handprinted individually by the hand of God for His beauty to be made manifest in and through each of our lives in unique and individual ways.
What are your three simple pleasures and how is the beauty of God being made manifest through your life. If your life has been programmed by outside voices and or culture, begin today embracing the unique beauty of God through you. Ask the Father to show you what you like and what brings you joy. Because if it is from Him, it will not only bring you joy but joy as well to all around you.
The author's prayer:
Dear God, the Artist and Creator of all that is beautiful in the universe,
Thank you for making creation so beautiful. Please open my eyes and my heart to observe the lessons you would teach me about yourself through nature. Let me be like a child and look with delight at the design, beauty, and elements of nature. Thank you for making my world a place where you intended me to experience pleasure, delight, fun, and deep satisfaction. Help me to understand that apart from finding you as a source of that satisfaction, I will not truly experience lasting joy. Help me to order my life so that I may better experience peace and comfort from being in your creation, amidst the beauty you prepared for me to enjoy.
Questions to consider:
1. Read Psalm 19:1. What are the heavens telling us about God. When was the last time you went outside at night to observe and enjoy the stars in the sky and let your soul fill with awe? How, specifically, can you incorporate more time in your schedule to be in nature and let it speak to your soul?
2. Read Psalm 16:11. What brings pleasure to your life? Do you think God wants you to experience pleasure? On what do you base that knowledge? Are there any ways in which you need to change your opinion about the importance of enjoying life more so that you can feel closer to God?
3. When Job cried out to God and didn't understand why he was suffering so much, God answered by telling him about the beginning of creation when the angels shouted for joy. What was God trying to say to Job?
4. In what ways does your work and life separate you from nature? If Romans 1 tells us that "what God made" gives evidence to his existence, then how important is it to our lives to be sure we place ourselves in the midst of nature, to feel and know his reality?
Friday 1 October 2010
Week 4: Dancing Through the Twists and Turns of Life
Were it up to me, the choreography of my life would be quite different than it has actually played out. There are seasons of my life, if I could find a way out of or hurt less, I most certainly would. The book of James says, "Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." (James 1:2-4)
In light of this passage and now the experience of my life's trials, I can see how my faith deepened and my relationship with my heavenly father was strengthened through each trial encountered. There was a time in my life where I walked through life not thinking of ever marrying or having children. My main goal was to graduate college, climb the corporate ladder, and become a successful business woman.
Needless to say I was caught off guard when I found myself expecting a baby right out of college. Within two years I became married and a stay at home mom. Within ten years there were four more children. Furthermore, I NEVER planned to home school....thought that was weird. (See my original post titled,"How I got to this place"). Yet, God had a different plan than me. Our home has been filled with at least one homeschooler for the last thirteen years.
As I slowly let go of my dreams and took God's hand to direct me, many days I encountered various trials in spite of following God. Homeschooling five kids and marriage alone are normal trials....but add the onset of strained finances, losing someone you love to cancer, divorce, kids with emotional holes in their hearts from the physical absence of a parent, working as a single mom, etc
I actually believe the trials in life can often be classified as suffering. Were it up to me I would choreograph a different life dance for me and my kids...one without pain and suffering. Yet, now I see, on the other side of the pain, how God grew my kids and myself, purifying us from our own best plans, molding us and shaping us into something beautiful....something fit for a king.
Many people bail when the rubber meets the road. When the pain hits, they reach for a quick pain reliever. I learned to ask, "Father, what is it you want me to know in this difficult situation?"
I believe suffering via trials in life come for two reasons: One, to cause us to depend on the Father for EVERYTHING. God has our best interest at heart and knows we can enjoy life the most when we are fully submitted to Him and living out the passions He has placed within us. As we depend on God and live a life in Christ, His character flows from us bringing joy to us and others EVEN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE TRIAL.
The second reason I believe God affords us trials in life is to conform us to the image of Christ. Romans 8:28 says "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love the Lord and are called according to his purpose. Furthermore in verse 29, God says.."For those God predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son...."
As we walk through the various trials of life, destined to happen living in a less than perfect world, holding God's hand, we can have joy. Psalm 16:11 says, "You will make known to me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy; in Your right hand are pleasures forevermore."
What trials are you walking through?...Are you depending on God...allowing Him to strengthen you as you walk through a difficult situation? How are you responding to your trial....with joy? Or is it a knee jerk reaction that is hurting those around you or a quick relief to your pain?
The author's prayer:
Dear Heavenly Father,
You are a good father and committed to excellence in my life. Open my eyes that I may see what is really taking place in my heart. Help me to be committed to the long-term pathway of facing my tests and trials with strength and the knowledge that it is in my everyday where greatness of soul is being shaped. Help me to learn to accept with joy the life you have given to me. I love you, Lord. In Jesus' name I come.
Thank you for posting comments. It is with great joy they are received. I say that with the deepest sincerity. For the Father to use me in any way to be an encouragement to you, is great great joy.
Questions to consider this week:
Read James 1:2-3. List the trials that you are experiencing right now. How does God want you to pass the test of these particular trials? What attitude do you need to change or cultivate?
2. Read Psalm 103:8. Do you picture God, as David, even in the midst of your trials? How do you need to change your perception of Him in order to receive his compassion, grace, and generous lovingkindness.
3. Read 2 Timothy 3:1-3. How does this verse apply to our culture? How does culture with its messages distract us from God's ways for us, to work hard and to endure with grace in order to develop character? What do you need to do to embrace God's ways so that you will find joy as you "dance these steps with him?"
In light of this passage and now the experience of my life's trials, I can see how my faith deepened and my relationship with my heavenly father was strengthened through each trial encountered. There was a time in my life where I walked through life not thinking of ever marrying or having children. My main goal was to graduate college, climb the corporate ladder, and become a successful business woman.
Needless to say I was caught off guard when I found myself expecting a baby right out of college. Within two years I became married and a stay at home mom. Within ten years there were four more children. Furthermore, I NEVER planned to home school....thought that was weird. (See my original post titled,"How I got to this place"). Yet, God had a different plan than me. Our home has been filled with at least one homeschooler for the last thirteen years.
As I slowly let go of my dreams and took God's hand to direct me, many days I encountered various trials in spite of following God. Homeschooling five kids and marriage alone are normal trials....but add the onset of strained finances, losing someone you love to cancer, divorce, kids with emotional holes in their hearts from the physical absence of a parent, working as a single mom, etc
I actually believe the trials in life can often be classified as suffering. Were it up to me I would choreograph a different life dance for me and my kids...one without pain and suffering. Yet, now I see, on the other side of the pain, how God grew my kids and myself, purifying us from our own best plans, molding us and shaping us into something beautiful....something fit for a king.
Many people bail when the rubber meets the road. When the pain hits, they reach for a quick pain reliever. I learned to ask, "Father, what is it you want me to know in this difficult situation?"
I believe suffering via trials in life come for two reasons: One, to cause us to depend on the Father for EVERYTHING. God has our best interest at heart and knows we can enjoy life the most when we are fully submitted to Him and living out the passions He has placed within us. As we depend on God and live a life in Christ, His character flows from us bringing joy to us and others EVEN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE TRIAL.
The second reason I believe God affords us trials in life is to conform us to the image of Christ. Romans 8:28 says "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love the Lord and are called according to his purpose. Furthermore in verse 29, God says.."For those God predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son...."
As we walk through the various trials of life, destined to happen living in a less than perfect world, holding God's hand, we can have joy. Psalm 16:11 says, "You will make known to me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy; in Your right hand are pleasures forevermore."
What trials are you walking through?...Are you depending on God...allowing Him to strengthen you as you walk through a difficult situation? How are you responding to your trial....with joy? Or is it a knee jerk reaction that is hurting those around you or a quick relief to your pain?
The author's prayer:
Dear Heavenly Father,
You are a good father and committed to excellence in my life. Open my eyes that I may see what is really taking place in my heart. Help me to be committed to the long-term pathway of facing my tests and trials with strength and the knowledge that it is in my everyday where greatness of soul is being shaped. Help me to learn to accept with joy the life you have given to me. I love you, Lord. In Jesus' name I come.
Thank you for posting comments. It is with great joy they are received. I say that with the deepest sincerity. For the Father to use me in any way to be an encouragement to you, is great great joy.
Questions to consider this week:
Read James 1:2-3. List the trials that you are experiencing right now. How does God want you to pass the test of these particular trials? What attitude do you need to change or cultivate?
2. Read Psalm 103:8. Do you picture God, as David, even in the midst of your trials? How do you need to change your perception of Him in order to receive his compassion, grace, and generous lovingkindness.
3. Read 2 Timothy 3:1-3. How does this verse apply to our culture? How does culture with its messages distract us from God's ways for us, to work hard and to endure with grace in order to develop character? What do you need to do to embrace God's ways so that you will find joy as you "dance these steps with him?"
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