Single Mom Sabbath: Our Need For Community

As I grow in my faith journey I become more and more convinced of the need for community in my life.  Furthermore, I realize how needy I am in life. This journey began almost sixteen years ago with my first born son, child number three, who was born with a milk allergy. Our family was on a weekly grocery budget of $50 and suddenly it doubled due to the special formula needed.

As I shared my concerns with my small group of bible study friends, their hearts were moved. I know this because the following week I received a $100 check in the mail for formula. The note read "I had some extra birthday  money and wanted to share it." It was from a lady from another denomination and my first experience in receiving money from outside my biological family. It felt strange but good. The Lord began teaching me then about the mandate and significance of community. One thing I learned is this:

COMMUNITY BREAKS DOWN DENOMINATIONAL BARRIERS

Honestly, I could write all day about community because of the impact it's had in our family's life as a single working mom of five. Soon after this first incident of giving, we joined a church that had a community group structure. Our family found it's place in a small group of like minded families who shared Sunday nights together over a meal. I am convinced in God's sovereignty He placed us in a place that would walk our family through the most difficult season of our life: my divorce. 

The wives in this group would ask the hard questions that I was still to proud to talk about such as, "what bills do you have and how much are they"? These women were the ones who checked in weekly or more often and asked specific questions about our day or week. 

COMMUNITY ASKED THE SPECIFIC AND HARD QUESTIONS

They were the ones to correct wrong thinking if my thoughts were negative and off track biblically. During a vulnerable time such as a divorce, financial or marital crisis, or you name it crisis, the enemy is more prone to attack us in our weakest areas to create doubt, insecurity, and confusion....none of which are ever from God.

COMMUNITY CORRECTS WRONG THINKING AND HELPS US LINE OUR THINKING UP WITH SCRIPTURE

After spending a lifetime in traditional church and knowing hundreds of people, serving on every team possible, and spending countless hours in program driven ministry, these are the women who invited me into their homes and fed my soul, loved my children, and kept my faith alive and strong during the hardest time of my  life. Although that season of our lives together has changed I will never forget the impact they had on my family, the layout of their homes (after countless nights there), or their precious families. It was a life impacting memory imprinted into my heart and soul.

We all need go to people for the various needs in our lives while we, too, have something to offer in return. When you become a Christ follower, the indwelling Christ in you, brings out your unique gifts and abilities which in turn bless those giving. Discipleship, present in the life of community, is a two way process, regardless of how inadequate we may feel, or how limited our resources appear. The indwelling Christ in each of us is unlimited and full of resurrection power waiting to flow out of us as we lean on dependency of His Holy Spirit residing in us.Paul taught this to the Galatians as he reminded them, "Carry one another's burdens, for in this you fulfill the law of Christ."

Who are your "go to" people. I have specific people for specific needs. Since I enrolled  my three youngest children in public school six years ago, I have gone to my friends Dana and Danny who have a daughter Madisen. Hannah and she have played on several of the same sports teams, taken vacations together, and been pulled in the snow on the back of a four wheeler. I can nearly ALWAYS count on Dana to help me because with four children still in sports, there is NO possible way to be everywhere for each of them. 

Yesterday we wound up in Locust Fork, Alabama together for a basketball tournament. We discovered this beautiful bridge between games and were able to celebrate our girls and life together. It was good....the way God designed community to be.

If you don't have your go to people, ask God to show you who is safe and seek them out. If you are single, I strongly suggest you seek healthy married couples so your children have a picture of all Christ wants for them in spite of our own life disappointments. Don't be afraid or too prideful to ask for help. It's biblical and the blessing is waiting on both ends. And it will bring your rest for your soul.

I would love to hear about your family of faith that is encouraging you.

Love, Pam

Single Mom Sabbath

Today marks something new in my writing arena: my attempt to reach single moms with a word of encouragement and inspiration. It is my desire to blog weekly about some of the joys and hardships I've faced the last decade as a single working mother of five. I would especially like to write about how I have found rest as a single mom. Meet the kids and me: 

Left to right: Mary Catherine 20, Hannah Rose 14, John Jay 16, Thomas 12, Lawren 23

This was Christmas Day and we were too lazy to figure out how to set up the camera to include my  new son in law Brandon, who took the picture for us...but stay tuned...He' a dear.  Oh let me at least go ahead and show you a picture of the two love birds:

Mr. and Mrs. Brandon Johnson

Ok, now you know the family...or at least can put a face to a name when I share about them.

After returning last week from a national mom heart conference and speaking to so many beautiful moms who were either in difficult marriages themselves, recently divorced, or trying to determine how best to minister to a hurting friend God placed in their path, I felt it a good time to begin to share from my own pain to possibly help others. 

Tonight I want to expound on the idea of "rest", which can seem like an oxymoron to a single mom. Yet, I'm not talking about necessarily a physical rest but a rest in our spirit from the turmoil of life.

In Matthew 11:28-30 we find the command to rest:

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰ For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

If a command exists because we are burdened then we must believe Jesus knew we would be weary and burdened as mommas. His yoke we are instructed to take and learn from refer to His teachings. Again the command is given to "take" the yoke or teachings. If we are going to "take" something then action is required on our part.

This is why I make the necessary adjustments in my family's life to attend the annual Mom Heart conference each year. I want to take Jesus teachings I receive there because I have learned when I embrace Christ teachings I find rest for my spirit.

I met Christina, another  mom in the process of divorce after attending conferences for over a decade of feeling somewhat isolated as a divorcee. After having the opportunity to share at the conference, Christina found me and we spent the next two hours in the hallway sharing heartache and prayer to continue to rely on God for strength.

God has kept our hearts united via social media and we recently met up again in Dallas.  Meet my lovely friend Christina, former flight attendant...now primary grade teacher and single mom to two precious girls.

I am questioned every year upon returning about my trip. So imagine this: we look for friendships in life with women who value what we value and model a life of faith. In this world if we find a handful of those women as friends, we are blessed. Yet, each year, at the conference, you are in a room with 700 plus women who love God deeply and desire to edify Him through their family...whatever that looks like regardless of your education venue, number of children, denomination, or professional work choices. It is a filling like none other the entire year.

That's why we make the logistical, financial, and time sacrifices to go. Because we believe God's word to be true and take Him at His word. He tells us to rest by taking His teachings so we believe and act on our belief.

A faith walk always requires action on our part. Will you believe you are God's treasured possession today because that's what He says about you. Will you take the action necessary to rest your spirit. A conference in another state might not work right now for you. But today, especially with online bible studies, the opportunities are endless to take God at His word. Take His teachings and receive rest.

I hope you will share below How you are fleshing out these things in your faith walk...and how you are experiencing the rest of God in  your life.

I look forward to hearing from you and sharing with you again soon. Please share these words with any of your single momma friends.

Love,
Pam