For When You Feel Desperate

There have been periodic times in my life that I have felt nothing less than desperate.

Those times have encompassed the spectrum from all five kids having the stomach bug at the same time to a failed marriage and everything in between.

It seems like I lived my life to please others, constantly jumping through the necessary hoops for acceptance, approval, and identity. I've done it with my kids. I did it in my past marriage. And in another life I did it through relationships.

Furthermore, I have felt desperate to be married again...

Desperate for sleep..

Desperate for companionship...

Desperate for support...

It was even a feeling of desperation that led me to Dallas, Texas fourteen years ago, as I entered the world of homeschooling. I was desperate for direction, resources, and support.

What I encountered was the beginning of a fourteen year journey with my creator God. I became a disciple of Sally Clarkson, the Mom Heart mentor.

For the past fourteen years, Sally, along with her gifted speakers, have gently guided mothers, including myself with practical resources and kind encouragement as we journey in a role as mothers. But the main principle prevailing every talk and every conference has been based on the nature and character of God.

Because Sally has spent thousands of hours studying God's word, the truth of who He is and what He says to me..about me..pours through her.

It has been abundantly clear throughout the years that nothing other than the power of God in our lives and us embracing the truths of God will meet the feelings of desperation we all experience as women in our unique life circumstances.

Although God has afforded me the privilege of a personal friendship with Sally, these truths are available to anyone who desires to resolve their feelings of desperation. Sally has written numerous books, which can be found at www.wholeheart.org

However, today's time is about her most recent work, written along with Sarah Mae, a new fresh voice I look forward to meeting in Raleigh.

Find out more at www.desperatemom.com

For me, the sweetest part of the story includes a small writing part, from me, addressed at the end of the book especially for single moms! (pg.213-214)  If anyone had ever told me that my words would be included in a book that is on the first page of www.barnesandnoble.com or as of yesterday was #54 on www.amazon.com I would not believe it to be true.

Recently I listened to a sermon by Louie Giglio who stated the following point:

"The trajectory of your life is not determined by your present circumstances"

How true for this sweet venture I get to be a part of.

I am 46, a single working mom of 5 children, technically backwards, and understand little of social media.

But I have prayed this week that God would do immeasurably more than we could ask or imagine to get this book out there to moms, who were as desperate as I was fourteen years ago. So they, too, can know their maker, and walk confidently in their roles at home.

 He has faithfully heard my prayer, in spite of my lack of computer literacy, and done immeasurably more than we could have asked or imagine.

I pray you will be encouraged by my writing below and know that my God can be your God and meet you in your desperate place as well....Buy your copy today!

A Special Note to Single Moms

"I believe single moms are especially loved by God. He is with you and will support you as you look to him and will work secretly in the hearts of your sweet children, because they, too, are loved by him.
It is my prayer than many of you will find a mentor to love and support you in your challenging and unique calling, so that you will not have to walk this road alone. One of my very dear friends Pam Graves is a single mom who has modeled such faith, grace, and strength over the years and I have asked her to share some of her thoughts about being a single mom."

-Sally

"Because I grew up in a divorced home and knew firsthand the pain associated as a child from a single parent home, I did not plan on being divorced or becoming a  single working mom of five children. Yet, when spiritual matters go unattended in one's life, patterns tend to repeat themselves.
I can honestly say my five children are "standing on my shoulders" are are shaking up the communities where they land, whether it be public school for the  youngest three, college sports for my second born daughter, or my oldest daughter who is presently en route to Berlin, to answer the call to missions.
My sweet nest climbed onto my shoulders as I desperately cried out to the Lord to make me a change factor in our family heritage. I still hold fast to the promises of my Maker that he will complete the good work he began in both me and my children.
There are ongoing battles of depression, loneliness, exhaustion, and character shaping in both my own life and my children. As I give every concern to my Heavenly Father, and press into God in the hard places, he is ever so faithful to meet me and my family in the desperate places, giving grace and lovingkindness to each of us in unique ways that reflect his nature and character.
It can be easy to allow our circumstances to define us: "single," "working mom," "divorced." Even worse, we can buy into the lie that the world judges us because of our circumstances. Whether you are single, divorced, or married, it is imperative to fight the enemy who tries to tear us down.
And we fight, like David, with the power of God's word. God defines us as an inherent treasure that he loved to the point of death. It's the same love we feel about our children. We fight through every battle, insecurity, deception, and fear that they too may know not only how much we love them but also the God of the universe is rooting for them.
Our kids are counting on us. I want to leave a lasting legacy of love and service."

So much more to celebrate!

It's my turn to share today at www.momheart.org. I am sharing the limelight with my friend Cherie so you will have to look for my post about Mary's recent graduation and the excitement surrounding it. Please hop over and leave your comments! I would love to hear how God is answering prayer in your life as well.

Love, Pam

How I got to this place.

The journey to MomHeart began some twelve to thirteen years ago. A call to home school our then two young girls was pressing in on my heart. But I fought against it diligently. The only home school family I knew back from back in Kansas was over the top. The mom would stand up in the Sunday morning service pleading for our vote that week for whatever conservative issue was pressing through Congress. She would also meet you at the nursery door and say something like, "Your child has thick green discharge from her nose. The pediatricians are now believing that indicates infection. She should not be with other kids."

As a young believer, in Christ, I took those things personally and felt insecure in my role as a mommy. I did not find her very inviting. I also harbored a judgmental spirit towards her which today I can appreciate as passion. I may be different but I can unconditionally love her as a sister in Christ and appreciate that the Father has simply made her passionate about different things than me.  Did I mention I had gotten pregnant out of wedlock and was a single mom.

Needless to say, my first relationship with a home school family was rocky from the start. RIVER OF LIFE LESSON: DON'T EVER SAY YOU WILL NEVER DO SOMETHING!

Within the next six years my life transformed to almost look identical to the woman at church. There was a call to home school, I was married and  the second child had come. I joined a local support group for preschoolers who were homeschooling called Bright Lights.  We met once a month and shared support and encouragement with other home school moms. One night we had curriculum night and a mother showed up with a laundry basket full of teacher's manuals and workbooks for her kids. All of our children were under six. I had brought a duck washcloth that I used to play with my girls in the tub. I would sing bible verses to my girls with the duck cloth. Needless to say, the confusion and insecurity set in again. But help was a little quicker this time.

I went to bible study the following morning and sat down next to a co leader who home schooled. I said, "I thought this was supposed to be fun!?" and proceeded to tell her about my previous evening's experience. She said "Pam, you need to read Educating the Wholehearted Child"

Fast forward eleven years...I have read every book by the Clarkson family and have adopted their philosophy for child training and educating. Although I am now a single working mother and have three children in public school, I still attend mother conferences every year and currently lead a MomHeart discipleship group for mothers at the local YMCA.  Hence, how I got to where I am.  If anyone is interested in attending MomHeart, feel free to contact me. We begin meeting Sept 10. Enjoy the  video below as a sample of what our book study will be:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZlCcVq-Dxs