Single Mom Sabbath: Our Need For Community

As I grow in my faith journey I become more and more convinced of the need for community in my life.  Furthermore, I realize how needy I am in life. This journey began almost sixteen years ago with my first born son, child number three, who was born with a milk allergy. Our family was on a weekly grocery budget of $50 and suddenly it doubled due to the special formula needed.

As I shared my concerns with my small group of bible study friends, their hearts were moved. I know this because the following week I received a $100 check in the mail for formula. The note read "I had some extra birthday  money and wanted to share it." It was from a lady from another denomination and my first experience in receiving money from outside my biological family. It felt strange but good. The Lord began teaching me then about the mandate and significance of community. One thing I learned is this:

COMMUNITY BREAKS DOWN DENOMINATIONAL BARRIERS

Honestly, I could write all day about community because of the impact it's had in our family's life as a single working mom of five. Soon after this first incident of giving, we joined a church that had a community group structure. Our family found it's place in a small group of like minded families who shared Sunday nights together over a meal. I am convinced in God's sovereignty He placed us in a place that would walk our family through the most difficult season of our life: my divorce. 

The wives in this group would ask the hard questions that I was still to proud to talk about such as, "what bills do you have and how much are they"? These women were the ones who checked in weekly or more often and asked specific questions about our day or week. 

COMMUNITY ASKED THE SPECIFIC AND HARD QUESTIONS

They were the ones to correct wrong thinking if my thoughts were negative and off track biblically. During a vulnerable time such as a divorce, financial or marital crisis, or you name it crisis, the enemy is more prone to attack us in our weakest areas to create doubt, insecurity, and confusion....none of which are ever from God.

COMMUNITY CORRECTS WRONG THINKING AND HELPS US LINE OUR THINKING UP WITH SCRIPTURE

After spending a lifetime in traditional church and knowing hundreds of people, serving on every team possible, and spending countless hours in program driven ministry, these are the women who invited me into their homes and fed my soul, loved my children, and kept my faith alive and strong during the hardest time of my  life. Although that season of our lives together has changed I will never forget the impact they had on my family, the layout of their homes (after countless nights there), or their precious families. It was a life impacting memory imprinted into my heart and soul.

We all need go to people for the various needs in our lives while we, too, have something to offer in return. When you become a Christ follower, the indwelling Christ in you, brings out your unique gifts and abilities which in turn bless those giving. Discipleship, present in the life of community, is a two way process, regardless of how inadequate we may feel, or how limited our resources appear. The indwelling Christ in each of us is unlimited and full of resurrection power waiting to flow out of us as we lean on dependency of His Holy Spirit residing in us.Paul taught this to the Galatians as he reminded them, "Carry one another's burdens, for in this you fulfill the law of Christ."

Who are your "go to" people. I have specific people for specific needs. Since I enrolled  my three youngest children in public school six years ago, I have gone to my friends Dana and Danny who have a daughter Madisen. Hannah and she have played on several of the same sports teams, taken vacations together, and been pulled in the snow on the back of a four wheeler. I can nearly ALWAYS count on Dana to help me because with four children still in sports, there is NO possible way to be everywhere for each of them. 

Yesterday we wound up in Locust Fork, Alabama together for a basketball tournament. We discovered this beautiful bridge between games and were able to celebrate our girls and life together. It was good....the way God designed community to be.

If you don't have your go to people, ask God to show you who is safe and seek them out. If you are single, I strongly suggest you seek healthy married couples so your children have a picture of all Christ wants for them in spite of our own life disappointments. Don't be afraid or too prideful to ask for help. It's biblical and the blessing is waiting on both ends. And it will bring your rest for your soul.

I would love to hear about your family of faith that is encouraging you.

Love, Pam

Single Mom Sabbath: How I rest after I work

It's almost time for bed but I so want to be faithful in this weekly blogging venture in order to offer hope and encouragement for single moms.

So I decided to write tonight about how I actually rest after I work. Often as women it's easy to fall into comparison in many areas of our life. We read magazine articles or online posts about how to do about anything based on another's viewpoints.

I remember the wise words of my mentor Sally Clarkson years ago, " comparing ourselves to others results in feelings of superiority or inferiority."

So tonight I won't tell you how to rest.

I'll only tell you it's a principle in scripture set forth by God. If God decided rest was good, I believe I can trust Him and learn from His example in my own life. Yet, how could I tell you how to rest when scripture doesn't indicate HOW God rested. It only indicates He did. Certainly it means He ceased the work before the rest BUT it never says specifically what the "rest" looked like.

I conclude that because He designed us all uniquely our rest will be our own as well.

This morning I returned home from the 4th annual Mom Heart retreat in our area. Around 20 of us gathered together starting Friday night to celebrate our lives as mom through fellowship , encouragement, and equipping.

We were missing a few here but thankful nonetheless for a sweet memory!

Thank you Ashley and Sydney for amazing worship.

I love how a community of moms celebrate God together.

Our time together each year is unique and beautiful . Yet, there's typically a physical crash after the weekend from expending myself emotionally, physically, and spiritually. The retreat ends early Sunday morning so we can each attend church. I was looking forward to an afternoon nap but  there was a dear friend from the retreat who's problems weighed heavily on my heart.

Upon checking in I with her I realized she was still in a very difficult place so I invited her over  rather than nap . We had a hard but good visit for over an hour.

When she left I had to check the inventory at the store after being away for the weekend to determine what was needed to open tomorrow. Then it was immediately time to leave for life group. We are part of a new life group with old friends so it's really been wonderful to reconnect. As a matter of fact my friend Terri actually participated in this weekend's retreat by cooking delicious food for both Friday and Saturday night. She also brought along two of her daughters who helped with serving and blessed us with an amazing time of worship.

So many may wonder when did I  ever rest. I wanted to share that for myself my rest today came from being in community with other believers. Healthy community is never a work that requires a rest. There may be some tasks to get a dish ready to share but the sharing, fellowship, prayer, and equipping that occurs brings REST to my soul after a weekend of pouring out.

So friends please give yourself grace today for HOW you rest. Sometimes it might be a 5-6 minute cup of hot tea, others might take their rest in an elevator to the next appointment, while other days like today it might look like running to those who care about you and want to invest in your life.

Your soul was fashioned by the creator of the universe...He knows every star by name and the numbers of hairs on your head. and He knows what we need individually to find rest  for our souls be it a time of solitude or community.

Will you today stop comparing how you are prompted to care for your soul. Will you today simply embrace the mandate to "Be still and know that  He is God."

I would love to hear from you the creative ways He brings you rest.

Love, Pam

Single Mom Sabbath: Why I Keep Trying

I'm back....barely.  Today marks day 10 of feeling yucky. Thankfully, I'm one of the ones who fell into the blessing of Obamacare. After 15 years of no insurance I am now insured and on antibiotics for a severe sinus infection. Alabama has seen temps vary in 24 hours by more than 30 degrees. We haven't known whether to wear snow boots or flip flops. Ironically, this weather calls to mind the internal crisis I can incur daily left to my own.

Being sick for so many days while life continues to happen can spiral one into depression quickly. As the sole proprietor of our family business, there is no shutting down due to illness because we want to eat everyday. Therefore someone's gotta go to work.

However feeling bad will allow justification for letting the less important stuff go...folding laundry, cooking, and cleaning. Hence, the idea for today's Sabbath post. I've had my Easter tote of decorations out for over a week. In the attic, I keep a tote for every major holiday and 1000 totes for Christmas:)

I try to split the decorations: taking some to the store to inspire my customers while keeping some at home to continue the tradition for the children of bringing their thoughts toward something more than their cell phones or dinner.

Today Lawren, my oldest daughter, and her husband Brandon are coming for lunch. I never knew how much I would miss her when she got married. They only live about an hour away but they both work full time while she also teaches dance. Our schedules leave time for texts and short phone calls occasionally.

Because they are coming I became motivated to finally empty the Easter tote to bring some beauty into the clutter for lunch today. As I cut the devotion strips, punched holes (btw: I've been looking for our hole puncher for two weeks minimum...finally broke down last night and sent Hannah into Wal-Mart to purchase one because I had already stopped earlier in the week at the Dollar Tree to come up empty handed), hung the devotion cards onto the Easter tree, I questioned myself, "Why do you keep trying?"

Here's the first pic: leftover Valentine decor becomes an Easter Tree but first have to rid the clutter!

Why do I persevere season after season of climbing into the attic, finding and dragging down the appropriate tote, clear off a spot to decorate, and then take it down to start over again? Well, because my first thought is, "If I don't take the time to do this for my  kids, who will?" There isn't anyone else here.

I want my kids to know the importance of tradition and beauty. I want them to know holidays are special and some even sacred and holy. How can they know that if they are not invited in to celebrate?

More than tradition, I want to obey the command in scripture to teach my children. In Deuteronomy 11:18-19

"You shall therefore impress these words of mine on your heart and on your soul; and you shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontals on your forehead. You shall teach them to your sons, talking of them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road and when you lie down and when you rise up."

When I stop a moment to think about all God has rescued me from, how He has redeemed and restored me, His great love for me is written on every page of my story.

We love because God first loved us...1st John 4:19

A love response to God from me is my small effort to impact my children's hearts for the kingdom of God by bringing out the decorations. Their hearts are precious and it is my responsibility and privilege to speak life into them in creative ways. I am trusting that because I keep trying and God is faithful, my efforts will not be in vain.

Final pic: the reason I keep trying: Because God has entrusted these 5 precious soles to this single momma.

Will you consider this morning how the Holy One has rescued, redeemed, and restored you?

Will you ask the Holy Spirit for creativity to pull some items together and place as a focal point to celebrate the Lenten season as we prepare our hearts for Easter.

Yes, it is a little work to get it done, but the result is rest for my soul which is my aim.

Bringing beauty into my home and into our hearts pushes the negative out of  my spirit and replaces with rest of God. Will you try it and tell me about it?

Love, Pam