When You Are Longing for Rest

I have been sick for what seems like forever. At first I blamed it on my new job at the YMCA. There are germs from 5 public school systems, plus my own children's school...so six schools. There are over 100 children every day that I am in close contact with.

However six months into the job, I cannot continue to blame work. So after blood work and doctor's visits, we are addressing the health issues as adrenal fatigue. An uphill climb has begun with supplements, dietary issues, and LOTS of rest.

Don't we all long for "rest". You know the deep rest that settles in the deepest part of our souls. The rest that lets us know all is well with our world regardless of our circumstances. The rest that Horatio Spafford penned when he wrote "It Is Well With My Soul" in spite of losing his children to tragedy.

I found these verses recently which the apostle John penned. His words address our longing for rest. They bring clarity to us and confirm exactly how to find the "rest" we so long for in today's world where we can never seem to do enough, be enough, have enough, and certainly not rest enough.

"Dear children (I love that God addresses me this way), let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.

THIS THEN IS HOW WE KNOW THAT WE BELONG TO THE TRUTH, AND HOW WE SET OUR HEARTS AT REST IN HIS PRESENCE."

So, loving with action and in truth sets my heart at rest in the presence of God.  Thankfully, I have found I can actively love from the bench at the kitchen table by scratching my son's back. I can listen while children share their views of injustices from teachers at school while thanking God they will even talk to me...the old mom who is tired from work. And I can laugh with them all as they remember silly times together at ball games or some other unusual place we've found ourselves as a family. 

There are thousands of self help books, blogs, tutorials, and more to help one find rest. But they won't be truth. Truth is a person. Jesus. These are His words.

May you embrace Christ and His truth today.

Because we all need a little rest.

In Him,

Pam

What are you practicing?

As a mom I am learning that to be good at something requires lots of practice.

We informally practice child training every day in our home when someone leaves their clothes on the floor or on top of the kitchen island or in my van.

John practices basketball twice a week because we recognize his gifts and abilities and want to help him improve.

I practice tidying up on a regular basis, regardless of how challenging, so that my children can feel content in an orderly home and I can continue to grow up in self discipline. I would much rather be having coffee with a friend or dreaming up some next big ministry adventure.

In 1st John 3:4-7, John, the disciple Jesus loved, encourages us to practice in another way.....to practice righteousness. Why so important?

Because unlike basketball, child training, or housework,

practicing righteousness identifies us as Christ followers. 

I do believe we can act righteous in all aspects of our lives...even basketball.

Because we have been issued the Great Commission to go and make disciples, we will find many more willing to follow us if we are practicing righteousness than otherwise.

John warns us this won't be easy. "Little children, make sure no one deceives you." There will be constant distractions to pull us away in our thinking and actions from pursuing righteousness.

The key is abiding...

I am so thankful God's principles for living presented in His word give us answers for how to please Him by walking in obedience.  I will spend time renewing my mind with God's truth to know Him more fully.

So, today, I will practice abiding, relying on the power of God within me, to pour out in righteous acts to those around me.

I want someone today to know just how great God is....don't you?

Love,

Pam

On Confidence and Security as Women

I have noticed along life that two areas women struggle with include confidence and security.  As we put our trust in things of the world, whether it be a job or relationship, we often find either one to fall apart or bring pain from brokenness.

Back in 1993, when my marriage was already failing but to last another long 13 years, I was introduced to bible study. A friend knew I was returning to my hometown to live, without a support system. My now ex-husband was an over the road truck driver and absent for long periods of time, leaving me at home with a two year old (yes, I had been a single mom) and expecting our first child together.

That first year of bible study provided much for me: community, fellowship, and support. But the greatest think I learned that year was the following principle or lesson:

"I could try for the rest of my life to please my family, children, spouse, etc but would often come up empty. However, I could please the God of the universe, my heavenly father, with my life without ever wondering how to do so."

Wow, to have spent over two decades trying to measure up or perform to someone else's standards, bound by others expectations. This truth brought freedom and passion into my heart as I began a sweet journey of discovery as God planned for me unfolded through a committed time of study with him.

So after half my life has past, do I still ever struggle with insecurity or lack confidence. Of course. Those feelings just last for shorter periods of time and the Spirit of God, within me, is quick to remind me, through remaining in His word, promises like the ones found in 1st John 2: 25-29:

As a believer in Christ, I am:

a practicer of righteousness

a receiver of eternal life

 anointed by God who teaches me about ALL things

given confidence

given truth

abiding in Christ

So, today, as the winds of wordly philosophy blow against me that my parenting isn't enough..my relationship skills aren't enough, I fight back with truth, securely, (abiding in Him) and confidently.

Will you join me? Will you appropriate these truths into your own life. If they seem foreign to you, would you ask God to reveal Himself to you through these truths and make them real in your own life. We are secure in Him and we can be confident in Him.

Blessed,

Pam

For When You Feel Desperate

There have been periodic times in my life that I have felt nothing less than desperate.

Those times have encompassed the spectrum from all five kids having the stomach bug at the same time to a failed marriage and everything in between.

It seems like I lived my life to please others, constantly jumping through the necessary hoops for acceptance, approval, and identity. I've done it with my kids. I did it in my past marriage. And in another life I did it through relationships.

Furthermore, I have felt desperate to be married again...

Desperate for sleep..

Desperate for companionship...

Desperate for support...

It was even a feeling of desperation that led me to Dallas, Texas fourteen years ago, as I entered the world of homeschooling. I was desperate for direction, resources, and support.

What I encountered was the beginning of a fourteen year journey with my creator God. I became a disciple of Sally Clarkson, the Mom Heart mentor.

For the past fourteen years, Sally, along with her gifted speakers, have gently guided mothers, including myself with practical resources and kind encouragement as we journey in a role as mothers. But the main principle prevailing every talk and every conference has been based on the nature and character of God.

Because Sally has spent thousands of hours studying God's word, the truth of who He is and what He says to me..about me..pours through her.

It has been abundantly clear throughout the years that nothing other than the power of God in our lives and us embracing the truths of God will meet the feelings of desperation we all experience as women in our unique life circumstances.

Although God has afforded me the privilege of a personal friendship with Sally, these truths are available to anyone who desires to resolve their feelings of desperation. Sally has written numerous books, which can be found at www.wholeheart.org

However, today's time is about her most recent work, written along with Sarah Mae, a new fresh voice I look forward to meeting in Raleigh.

Find out more at www.desperatemom.com

For me, the sweetest part of the story includes a small writing part, from me, addressed at the end of the book especially for single moms! (pg.213-214)  If anyone had ever told me that my words would be included in a book that is on the first page of www.barnesandnoble.com or as of yesterday was #54 on www.amazon.com I would not believe it to be true.

Recently I listened to a sermon by Louie Giglio who stated the following point:

"The trajectory of your life is not determined by your present circumstances"

How true for this sweet venture I get to be a part of.

I am 46, a single working mom of 5 children, technically backwards, and understand little of social media.

But I have prayed this week that God would do immeasurably more than we could ask or imagine to get this book out there to moms, who were as desperate as I was fourteen years ago. So they, too, can know their maker, and walk confidently in their roles at home.

 He has faithfully heard my prayer, in spite of my lack of computer literacy, and done immeasurably more than we could have asked or imagine.

I pray you will be encouraged by my writing below and know that my God can be your God and meet you in your desperate place as well....Buy your copy today!

A Special Note to Single Moms

"I believe single moms are especially loved by God. He is with you and will support you as you look to him and will work secretly in the hearts of your sweet children, because they, too, are loved by him.
It is my prayer than many of you will find a mentor to love and support you in your challenging and unique calling, so that you will not have to walk this road alone. One of my very dear friends Pam Graves is a single mom who has modeled such faith, grace, and strength over the years and I have asked her to share some of her thoughts about being a single mom."

-Sally

"Because I grew up in a divorced home and knew firsthand the pain associated as a child from a single parent home, I did not plan on being divorced or becoming a  single working mom of five children. Yet, when spiritual matters go unattended in one's life, patterns tend to repeat themselves.
I can honestly say my five children are "standing on my shoulders" are are shaking up the communities where they land, whether it be public school for the  youngest three, college sports for my second born daughter, or my oldest daughter who is presently en route to Berlin, to answer the call to missions.
My sweet nest climbed onto my shoulders as I desperately cried out to the Lord to make me a change factor in our family heritage. I still hold fast to the promises of my Maker that he will complete the good work he began in both me and my children.
There are ongoing battles of depression, loneliness, exhaustion, and character shaping in both my own life and my children. As I give every concern to my Heavenly Father, and press into God in the hard places, he is ever so faithful to meet me and my family in the desperate places, giving grace and lovingkindness to each of us in unique ways that reflect his nature and character.
It can be easy to allow our circumstances to define us: "single," "working mom," "divorced." Even worse, we can buy into the lie that the world judges us because of our circumstances. Whether you are single, divorced, or married, it is imperative to fight the enemy who tries to tear us down.
And we fight, like David, with the power of God's word. God defines us as an inherent treasure that he loved to the point of death. It's the same love we feel about our children. We fight through every battle, insecurity, deception, and fear that they too may know not only how much we love them but also the God of the universe is rooting for them.
Our kids are counting on us. I want to leave a lasting legacy of love and service."

When What Drives You Changes

Recently I wrote a blogpost for Mom Heart about our three gift tradition at Christmas. You can read more about it here: http://www.momheart.org/?s=three+gift+tradition

However this year I did not find my marathon shopping day as enjoyable as usual. It was not a sense of dread but more of duty. We have established these traditions and I must follow through. While that is a good character quality, diligence, I sensed a loss of passion.

Upon revisiting my study of 1st John, I believe I understand why:

In chapter 2 verses 15-17, the apostle John draws a comparison between those of the world and the people of God.

The qualities of those of this world are quite lengthy but make no bones about it:

the love of the Father is not in them

they struggle with lust of flesh

and lust of the eyes

and the boastful pride of life

they do not know their Father

they are passing away

While those belonging to God...

do the will of God

live forever

Pretty simple.  I need simplicity in the New Year. I do not need stress, complications, overwhelming situations, like lines and mass merchandise.

I am a mom. I desire to be available physically, emotionally, and spiritually, which is already a challenge as a single, working mom.

I want to give my kids gifts, and I want to enjoy the process of getting the gifts for them, wrapping, and presenting them.  It is my desire to please my children and celebrate the birth of Christ.

However, recognizing my limitations as a woman who struggles with fatigue and aging, I plan to shop online next year.

I am trusting that will simplify my life and allow me to keep the main thing the main thing..

doing the will of God

living forever

What challenges are you facing that might cause you to question whether you belong to the world or to the people of God. I do not believe we can lose our salvation. Yet, I believe often things of the world will pull on us. Consequently, we make choices that bring our character into question.

How can you simplify your life today for the New Year to keep the main thing the main thing.

With Love,

Pam

My First Born Son is Fourteen Today!

Happy Birthday John Jay. Thank you for making my world a better place. It is such a joy to watch you growing up.

Have fun today traveling to Auburn, the great plains, to watch your sister do what she loves..play softball. War Eagle!

Always keep family close at heart and may we always be a safe haven for you.

Have fun spending time with our friend Mark and Lawren, your oldest sister, as you travel together and get to check out of school early.

Always remember that we go the extra mile to value people as you all are valuing Mary today.

Mark is taking off work to travel. Lawren is joining you all after working  since six am this morning, while each have responsibilities tomorrow. Yet, you won't be home til very late.

Enjoy your time with Uncle Johnny today as he travels to Auburn from Atlanta...not only to see Mary but also to enjoy time with his niece and nephew.

Families are forever and we get to invest in  each other's lives daily.

We, as the rest of the community I am certain, are excited about basketball getting started. I applaud you taking your gifts and abilities seriously. You will be rewarded for pressing into the talents God has given you and your leadership to your team as well.

And for any moms taking the time to read today, these past 14 years have flown by. Enjoy your time with your children. Lay aside what keeps you from doing so. They grow up so quickly. Treasure the time...

Happy Birthday John Jay!

 Love, Mom

Sometimes they tell you.....

I often was told during my earlier parenting years to write things down when your kids did something great, funny, cute, etc. Usually the advice came along with the truth that children grow up fast and the reality that you might forget the incident. I am adding this truth: It is important to record your memories with your children because there can be periods of time when the fruit in their life is few and far between.

On the days when there is bickering, squabbling, name calling, and days your kids must certainly be aliens, you will want to remember the good times. During the hard times, it helps to look back on our recordings to remember there are fun, happy, joy filled moments of child rearing.

I don't have beautiful scrapbooks or know how to make beautiful pictures on the computer. Yet, I am alot better at writing down via the blog or facebook or journaling what praiseworthy things are going on in my life.

God told the Israelites, as they brought the ark into Jerusalem, ""tell of all His wonderful acts" (1 Chronicles 16:9). The Israelites were exhorted to remember all God had done to deliver them. Remembering His faithfulness to His people gave them strength to press through future difficulties that surely came.

Likewise, when we remember the good fruit of our children's lives, it gives us strength to press through the difficult times when we can wonder if anything we say or do will ever make a difference.

As children of the Most High God, when we feel like we have gotten it all wrong and messed everything up as a parent (which are lies from the enemy), what a reward it is to be told by your children, that they get it.

Last January, Lawren, my oldest daughter, was completing an outreach in Chang Mai, Thailand with YWAM. She wrote the following words in a letter to me,

"I love you mom, and want you to know how amazing you are. God is good and continuing to use everything for His glory. This village is His, our family is His, and our futures are His. I am so excited to see how His authority rules over our family's lives in particular. I love you! Thank you for continuing to obey God in difficult times. It is imparting nations."

That was a moment I wanted to remember FOREVER....so, I still today am treasuring her letter.

Likewise, my Mary, who just graduated is not much of a  talker but when she does something, it's obvious to many....not because she's showy...it's just how she communicates.

She communicates strength by hitting balls over the fence for home runs.

But when she tells me how she feels about me, this is what I get:

God is not required to give us sight of the benefits of our child training. Yet, in His mercy towards us there are moments when we can say, "Wow, they got it." I want to remember those moments.

RIVER OF LIFE LESSON:  WHEN YOUR KIDS BLESS YOUR SOCKS OFF WRITE IT DOWN TO REMEMBER!

Would you take the time to share your "ahaa" moments with your children that the Father has mercifully blessed you with?

Have a beautiful day,

Pam

Content in relationships

Our first relationships in life are those formed in the home. The relationships we have with parents, siblings, grandparents, and other close relatives. I tell my kids that here, at home, we get to practice on each other how to treat one another so we can be a light to a lost world.

My hopes are that my children respond to one another and me in such a way that they are inviting to others. We don't always get that right.

I keep hoping after nineteen years of parenting that the "policing" years are almost over. Yet, regularly...sometimes more than once a day I am correcting my almost teenage son and administering discipline in some regard.

Presently, we are working on ridding the ugly element of "name calling" in our home. All four offenders have a unique disciplinary consequence awaiting them should they choose to name call someone.

I have come to believe that children, siblings, and even parents "act out" the most at home. Most feel the safest there to be who they are....the good, bad, and ugly.

In reality, when we belong to Christ though, "we are new creations...and have the mind and body of Christ indwelling us" to ward off reacting in our flesh when we are offended.  However this is an ongoing part of our sanctification process as we mature.

Meanwhile, I have found the most needed character traits in the home are love and forgiveness. What does that look like in relationships in the home? I think it looks a lot like the parables of the lost sheep and the lost coin.

In Luke 15 Jesus tells us two stories that illustrate what has already been done for us as believers...we were lost and Christ sought us out. In both stories the shepherd and the woman go to great lengths to bring reconciliation by bringing the sheep back and finding the lost coin.

Realizing what lengths God has gone to procure us....to bring us into the family of God....to give us everlasting life and love illustrates what we are to do when there is separation between individuals in relationships. Because we realize what provisions have been made for us, we seek out individuals whom we have harmed or been harmed by and attempt to be reconciled.

Prayerfully, hearts are softened and turned toward one another. When we "hear each other out" I find not only is there greater understanding but also value is placed on the relationship.

We ward off bitterness which causes walls to build up between us and practice lots and lots of forgiveness over and over again. I find this necessary as a mom almost daily when one of the kids says or does something I deem disrespectful.  There are days I want to throw in the towel, give up, let them go there on way. But the voice of truth reminds me...

"Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed
Yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken
Nor my convenant of peace be removed from you
Says the Lord
Who has compassion on you."
Isaiah 54:10

If God is going to keep on loving me and keep peace with me and I continue to fall short regularly of His commandments....how much more should I extend love and peace to those around me.

Relationships are work. They require careful attention and in my opinion, because human beings are involved, demand personal involvement with either face to face interaction or at a minimum a phone call. We press into those we love who are struggling so like the lost sheep or coin they are found and their value is celebrated.

Who are you pressing into to bring reconciliation? How are you valuing those around you the most. Does your wife feel as important as your boss? How about your kids?

She is beautiful from head to toe

My Mary is 17 today. As a second born daughter she has brought a whole new dimension to parenting. She has stretched me more than I thought humanly possible and grown me deeply as a woman of faith with her unique personality and strong spirit. Many thanks for that beautiful one. I am a better mom because of you. I could complain that you are off in Pensacola playing ball and again in this big family we are  separated but instead I celebrate that you are doing what you love on this special day. Looking forward to celebrating Tuesday with you!  Many thanks for all the laughter, joy, and strength you bring into this family. You can be MC for your fans and teammates but you will always be my Mary.

"You're beautiful from head to toe, my dear love..beautiful beyond compare..absolutely flawless."

Song of Solomon 4:7

Happy Birthday Mary Catherine!

Today is the big day!

After six month's of Lawren's absence, today she comes home. Her plane is scheduled to arrive in Huntsville about 8:30 tonight. It is a day that around the first of the year I thought would never arrive. Lawren has known for several years that the Father was calling her to Europe to attend a YWAM DTS...Youth With a Mission Discipleship Training School. Her lecture phase took place at a pioneer school in Berlin while their outreach occurred in  Chiang Mai, Thailand.

For as long as I can remember we have talked about missions...I am not sure why. Maybe a couple of factors attributed to this mission mindset. First I grew up in a traditional Southern Baptist church where we annually prayed for home missions and foreign missions, took up a Lottie Moon Christmas offering and either attended or taught GA's Girls In Action and Acteens. I took my girls to "Mom and Me Mission Camp" every year at Worldsong in Birmingham until they were old enough to go to week long camps by themselves. Also, during my years of Bible Study Fellowship, my teaching leader oftened referred to some of the great missionaries of the past who helped shape our world. Furthermore, because many of our homeschool years were spent reading great stories, we read about missionaries.

On our first mission trip to Poland three and half years ago, God planted a seed in my daughter to return. She sometimes patiently waited to graduate and launch herself into all her heart was crying for.  During our time in Ruda Slaska , Poland, while the Father was revealing Himself to me as Rescuer...past, present, and future, He was stirring the heart of my beloved daughter to Him.

...the Lord knows how to rescue godly men (Pam) from trials and to uphold the righteous...2 Peter 2:9

The first few months of the DTS weren't too bad....Thanks to the technological age we live in we were able to talk via Skype on the computer weekly. I was even able to receive occasional texts via her ipod during the week. I simply cannot imagine what a parent must have undertaken allowing their children to take off years ago without any communication other than rare letters via snail mail. Even Thanksgiving Day was spent in front of the computer with each family member spending time with Lawren.

Once the outreach began the communication lessened which became harder for mom since their were tummy troubles in Thailand...two hospital visits and down time at the base. Probably for mom the loneliness was the hardest around the first of the year, once the hustle and bustle of outreach here and the holidays ended. Because I was talking less to Lawren, I missed our long conversations...her sharing her heart about something the Lord spoke to her that week or whatever struggle she was encountering.

It was then...with communication limited, I realized why missionaries ask for prayer more than money.  Did you know that YWAM staff does not receive a paycheck? I knew Lawren had to raise her own support to go over there but it never occurred to me that the people staffing the bases...pouring themselves into young adults from all over the world...day in and day out...then trusting the Father to get them to outreach and provide daily for their families..were also depending on others for their livelihood. That is not normal.

Lawren's time in both Europe and Thailand  has been richly rewarding and continued to affirm the love for missions that the Father has placed in her heart. You can follow her blog at www.lawrenelizabeth.blogspot.com. I am sure there will be many more stories to come from her recent experiences.

In The Ministry of Motherhood, the author conveys, "Jesus' work in a person's life has always begun with a call to leave behind the goals, purposes, and distractions of this world and to say yes to a whole new life, a new way of thinking. 'Follow me' is what he told the disciples as he recruited them. And they did, abandoning their fishing nets, their tax-collector's moneybags, their permanent homes, their everyday duties and pleasures. And they never went back. Sure they still did a little fishing from time to time! But once they made the choice to follow Jesus, their lives were forever changed. They never returned to 'normal'."

Furthermore, the author relates, "If I seek to inspire my children to understand and own God's purposes for their lives, that means they will grow up with a different set of instructions than people in the world have...God is not measuring them by how much money they make, what kind of car they drive, or how big a house they are able to buy."

"It is Jesus who calls them just as He calls me..what a privilege...(completey humbling) to have been included in bringing about this miracle of calling. What a great idea God had to use mothers as a part of that process....of helping to inspire our children to God's purposes and walking alongside them as they learn to make the choice of leaving the world."

When I ponder sitting in front of this screen that the God of the universe saw my little nest situated here alongside the Tennessee River in Morgan County, Alabama....and saw our hearts loving Him while still trudging through the daily grind of distractions, busyness, not to mention daily battles of the flesh, and chose us...chose us for greatness....plucked my little girl up, carried her overseas, stretched her to the point she felt like breaking, but treated her with lovingkindness while growing her heart even bigger...touching the world with  my daughter....

Wow, what a sweet momma moment....

Many thanks to each of you who have been praying regularly for Lawren and our family. I am overwhelmed by the faithfulness of God to produce fruit in  the lives of our families. I am so thankful to God for what I see Him doing in and through Lawren's life, It gives me great hope to continue planting seeds in the lives of my other four children that they too may know the secrets of the kingdom of God.

Not many are called to overseas foreign missions and that is ok. However, as children of God we are all disciples and called in Matthew 28 to go and make disciples..wherever we are..at work, school, play, in our homes, wherever the Father has you today. And the command comes with a promise that I love...I will be with you  always even to the ends of the age.

The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places

A couple of weeks ago I woke on a Saturday morning to a quiet house...a good thing. I forced myself up out of bed looking forward to that first cup of coffee and quiet time...time to be with the Lord, time by myself..to think, plan, and dream.

I wandered into the boys room just to look at them and offer a prayer of thanks that they were still sleeping only to find John Jay not in his bed. At first I thought he was just up already somewhere else in the house. Then my thoughts went to maybe he had fallen asleep somewhere else like the couch. It was not long before I realized he was not in the house.  With it being only seven am, I knew he was not outside playing.

A feeling of urgency came upon me as I found the front door open. I reminded myself that we live in the country.  There were many nights I had fallen asleep and left my front door opened. I would never make it as a city girl. I am convinced that because Granddaddy lived in this house and ministered to this community for twenty plus years, that my house is surrounded by angels and we are protected from harm.

My first thought was that John had to be next door at the Doyles. He must have gone over to play a game system with Dusty after I went to bed. So I proceed next door, up the back steps to peer into the windows where the boys would be but can't see a thing. By now I have their pixie dog barking hysterically while my objective had been to try not to disturb my neighbors on the weekend. It was too late. My friend and neighbor Debbie had awakened to reassure me that John was there. She had questioned him when he came over that late but trusted he was honest about my knowing he was there.  I told her to send him home the minute he awoke.

I walked back to the house with  mixed emotions  but most of all  anger that my morning time was interrupted and John Jay had acted so disrespectful and without consideration of anyone other than himself.  I relaxed with my coffee at the kitchen table and had just opened my bible when he walked through the door. Everything in me wanted to lash out screaming at him for the trouble  he caused.

From somewhere deep within me, calm and peace resided. Maybe because I now knew he was safe...the most important thing to me.  He sat down at the kitchen table with me. A rare time for the two of us to be alone. I shared my concerns with him...the  panic I experienced when I realized he was gone and I could not find him.

The story following began spilling from me: I asked John if he remembered David from the bible...what did God say about David...David was a man after God's own heart. I reminded John that David was a regular man who made alot of mistakes; yet, God continued to speak favorably about David.

I retold the story of David and Bathsheba from 2 Samuel chapter 12...how David as king saw her bathing on a rooftop and sent his servants and took her for himself. All the time her husband Uriah was fighting valiantly for David and his country. David's infidelity found Bathsheba pregnant. Rather than confront her husband Uriah with truth and seek forgiveness, David tried to cover up his lie. He brought Uriah home from battle encouraging him to sleep with his wife so the child would appear to be Uriah's.

However David is unprepared for Uriah's sense of loyalty. Rather than enjoying the time with his wife he slept on David's mat outside the door until David returned him to battle.  One would think David would now be ready to fall on his face and confess but no....he sends his soldier back to battle with this message for his superiors...Place Uriah on the front of the battle line knowing this would surely bring death to Uriah. The remainder of the story includes Uriah's death, David's marriage to Bathsheba and the death of their child. David realizes the baby is taken as a result of sin and is then free to once again worship His heavenly father.

After David's journey through this sinful act, continued deceit, and unfathomable consequences of his sin, these are David's own words about His God: "The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places." Psalm 16:6. David knew and believed God was for him and only wanted fullness of life for David. David knew God's ways were best.

I continue to share with John Jay that the boundaries God gives us are pleasant because God has our best interest in mind at all times.....He is not interested in handing down lots of rules that if we don't measure up to He discards us. No, He loves us enough to let us make our own mistakes, make things right with Him, and embrace the same truth that David did:  Your boundaries fall in pleasant places. Although should we choose outside the boundaries God has given us, there are usually unpleasant circumstances to deal with. John Jay faced those that day. But my love for him was unwavering as is God's.

Consider these boundaries: Do not commit adultery. When one crosses this boundary, the pain permeates relationships and lives of both families that bring life long consequences.....a very unpleasant place. But if one embraces the boundary believing God is for him and for his good, the individual finds himself in a much more pleasant place.

Our boundaries as parents need to be pleasant as well.....not too controlling....but not an anything goes environment either. As we grow up in Christ, learning more of His word and His character, we are able to flesh that work out in our homes modeling the grace. forgiveness, and love of Christ.

I had to wait 18 years to hear it but during Lawren's graduation she made the following statement...."When it is no longer a burden but a privilege to be home by 11 because that's the curfew your parent has given you"....she was pointing to a relationship with God rather than rules.

Can you say that the boundaries for you fall in pleasant places? If not, ask God to show you His goodness, love, and mercy toward you which manifest through His boundaries for you. He loves each of us so much that He wants to protect us from living outside the boundaries in order for us to most fully enjoy all He has for us in this life.

Can you say, like David,

" Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure. The boundary lines for me have fallen in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance. " Psalm 16:5-6

I did not enjoy walking through this hard place on this Saturday morning but I am so thankful for these two things: first, God is so faithful. When you need a word to share pointing someone to truth, He is faithful. Secondly, God is protector. He cared for John when I could not. He cares for each of us as well.

How have the boundaries in your life fallen in pleasant places?

Listening for the Music of God's Voice

Today we wrap up Dancing with My Father online book study. Although our weekly MomHeart group continues to meet on Fridays at the Heart of the Valley YMCA each week at 9 am. Childcare is available and our small group is open to moms with children of all ages. We currently have moms of preschoolers as well as moms who have already become grandmothers. So we have alot of wisdom in our group and love to spend time encouraging one another and supporting each other through the various seasons of life. Please message me here, via facebook or email if you are interested in learning more about MomHeart.

The button badge shown is promoting this year's MomHeart conferences. I have been a part of these conferences for the past twelve years. Next to my walk with the Lord, the messages of Sally Clarkson have most greatly impacted my parenting journey. I am strengthened in  my faith, encouraged, and inspired to greatness each year as I go and sit under her teaching.

I am inviting every mom who reads my blog to come with me to Raleigh in March. I have asked for the conference fee as a Christmas present for the last twelve years. Some of my greatest memories include  attending these events with like minded moms, staying up way too late, sharing our hearts, eating great food, crying and laughing together. I have traveled to Dallas, Raleigh (twice), Charlotte, Atlanta, Denver, Nashville,  and somewhere around the St. Louis area...can't remember the city...just the beautiful hotel we stayed in and the great time I had with a dear friend. The message each year from Sally has been just what my heart needed and prepared me for what the Father had in store for me to walk through. If you are interested in finding our more about these life changing conferences go to www.wholeheart.org

Most recently in August, I applied and was accepted to attend the first MomHeart Leader Intensive Training at Sally's home in Monument, Colorado. It was a weekend full of training, inspiration, great food and fellowship. I went into the weekend physically exhausted and still grief filled from my loss earlier that year. I was aware that I would most likely be the only single mom there. As overwhelming as my life circumstances were I stepped out in faith believing God had something for me...just no idea what. The MomHeart message had become part of my identity...because it is a Christ based message to moms. Yet, I was at a place where I was literally just putting one foot in front of the other. My joy had waned with the loss of my love. I could not feel anything at all.

As sole provider and caretaker for my kids I knew I was the one to get them up each morning...get them off to school..get them to practices, lessons, etc. I had been just going through the motions wondering if my joy would ever return.

I wasn't angry with God for taking my love and best friend...I just couldn't seem to get over being numb. So, that was the condition of my heart upon arrival in Colorado. Yet, I walked confidently in Christ that He had afforded me this privilege and He would be faithful to sustain me throughout the weekend. I was eager to hear from Him...specifically in how to grow the MomHeart group....reaching many other moms with the same wonderful messages that have inspired me for so many years.

There were many different things I learned through the course of the weekend regarding servant leadership, writing and more.  However, before I ever checked into my room that day I was asked the following question by young men videotaping for the weekend, "What book have you enjoyed reading the most with your kids?" Hands down, Ruth Graham's One Wintry Night came to mind.

At that point God began giving me an idea for outreach at our local YMCA with the after school care kids. The more I thought on the idea, the more ideas kept flooding in for a creative literary outreach to share the Christmas story with these kids from creation to ascension using One Wintry Night. God kept saying, "I want these kids to know that just like I planned for that first Christmas over 2000 years ago, I also planned for each of them. I want them to know they can be a part of HisStory.
It was the first idea I had received for ministry in over a year and a half. Having been filled with grief I had resolved that I might never get an idea for ministry again.

I am happy to say we are in week 5 of the seven week outreach. Our efforts will culminate with a Christmas program performed by the kids on Dec 2. Each week there is a team of us who meet at the Y and spend almost two hours together singing, dancing, and storytelling. The kids there have learned to identify God as protector, creator, promisekeeper, faithful, and deliverer thus far. We are having a blast.
I share this with you from this chapter entitled, "Listening to the Music of God's Voice" because this outreach came from Him. And I believe He gave me the idea because I was choosing to listen and seek Him in spite of my heartache. 

Jeremiah 29 says we will find Him when we seek Him with our whole heart. I have tried life in many ways without Christ only to repeatedly find myself come up empty handed and with an empty heart. So through my faith walk I have learned to guard my heart by only putting in what is beneficial to my well being...the word of God. Also, prayer...daily time alone just to be with God...to be still and wait for Him...And finally, the community of like minded people that I walk through life with.

By practicing these disciplines, the Father continues to meet with me and gives me great joy. I had resolved in my heart that if the Lord never returned my joy in the absence of my love then He would be enough. Although my heart was downtrodden, it was filled with the peace and love of Christ. Never in my wildest dreams would I imagine that He would not only restore my joy but also cast new vision and allow me to serve in such sweet ways...and have such a fun time doing it.
It has been my privilege to share part of my journey as we pressed through this book Dancing with My Father. My daughter Lawren introduced me to a new song which I love called Dance with Me. I have listened to it repeatedly and rejoice that I too have this love relationship with my heavenly father. It is my prayer for each of you as well.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=esW85eDJFv0&feature=&p=BA3EE477BD379BB1&index=0&playnext=1
Are you hearing from the Lord. Will you make time...even just a few minutes to be quiet before the Lord...to get away from the busyness of your day and let Him love on you...bless you....and inspire you to greatness. Will you surround yourself with like minded believers who support you and encourage you in your faith walk. May you enjoy the dance with your heavenly Father and  be blessed as you go about responding to His moves and His voice.

The author's prayer:

My precious Father,
     How grateful I am that you are my King, my Redeemer. Open the eyes of my heart so that I may see the bigger picture of history, of which I can play a part. Help me to know you as my lover,my caretaker, my friend, and my king. Show me how to dance in your reality every day. Give me eyes to see the truth of your kingdom and prepare me for the celebration of life with you, which will go on through all eternity. Sweet Lord, restore to me the joy of my salvation. I love you so much. In Jesus, my Prince's name, I come. Amen.

Exchanging the Drudgery of Duty for the Dance

We live in a definite performance based society. Culturally, our value is measured by our output. Our success is defined by the world in regards to who has the most stuff or the latest and greatest things or who is the best known. Thankfully, this is NOT God's perspective.  I am learning more and more about God through my kids. In the beginning of my parenting journey, the verbage in my home consisted of a lot of "shoulds"...you should do this and you should do that. And my motive was one of pride and fear of embarrassment should my kids act out in any way...heaven forbid in public at least in front of others. Unfortunately, my two older girls have had to correct some wrong thinking about how God feels about them and what His desires are for them as a result of my skewed view of God.

Joshua defines success as this, "meditate on it (God's word) day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful". Joshua 1:8

King Solomon, the wisest person who ever lived wrote in Ecclesiastes chapter 12:


¹³All has been heard; the end of the matter is: Fear God [revere and worship Him, knowing that He is] and keep His commandments, for this is the whole of man [the full, original purpose of his creation, the object of God's providence, the root of character, the foundation of all happiness, the adjustment to all inharmonious circumstances and conditions under the sun] and the whole [duty] for every man.  (Amplified version)

Finally, in the New Testament, John the Baptist, a cousin to Christ, says, "I am not the Christ but am sent ahead of Him. The bride belongs to the bridegroom. The friend who attends the bridegroom waits and listens for him, and is full of joy when he hears the bridegroom's voice. That joy is mine and it is now complete." John 3:29

The point from all three passages is that the key to having joy and being joyful is Christ. We can have outgoing personalities which are friendly and optimistic and bounce around merrily for awhile but sooner or later the rubber will meet the road and life goes south due to some difficulty, tragedy, etc. It is then that the smile fades, tears form, our step becomes slower and outlook on life questionable. Only when our foundation is a life in Christ...we have trusted Him and are appropriating Christ life through us... will we be able continue living with joy in our hearts.

Most of us carry around alot of baggage in our hearts and lives from many sources. This baggage weighs us down, creates insecurities, and hinders us from receiving all that the Father has for us....life abundant. I know I have had to go back to my two oldest girls and confess. "I got this wrong...if I could do it again, here's what I would say." As I have grown up in seeing God truly for who He is through His word...not what other people are saying about Him, I have grown in grace and hopefully become a more gracious person. I am better equipped now in truth to extend God's love and grace to those around me, including my children, who fail each day. Now, rather than shaming them into behaving in a manner that is not embarrassing to me, I am able to ask questions to address their heart, discuss honor and consideration with them, and point them to Christ.

Because that is exactly what the Father does for me. He is not standing there with a pointed finger wagging it at me shaming me for failing once again. His arms are open...He welcomes me (Come to me)...He knows me (all you who are weary and burdened)....He gives me rest (and I will give you rest)..He gives Himself to me (take my yoke upon you)...He teaches me (and learn from me) He is gentle with me(for I am gentle and humble in heart)..Matthew 11:28-30

For today, be good to yourself. Don't beat yourself up for your failures or get caught up in basing your worth on performing for others.  Rather run to Christ who is waiting for you with open arms to wrap you in His love and grace, to strengthen you, to uphold you, and to give you great joy!

1. Read Psalm 103:13-14. According to this verse, is God aware of our fragility and limitations? Does he expect more from us than we can give? What kind of compassion do you think a good father would have for his children? In what ways have your tried to earn God's acceptance. Write down any failures or sins you have committed that you think God has held against you. Write across the paper, "Forgiven and loved" and then throw it away-as an act of accepting His love and grace.


2.Read Psalm 13:1-2. What are the things in your life that are "too great" that you have been trying to handle?What would it look like for you to give these areas over to God? How can you still and quiet your soul?

3.  What does it mean, "Unless you are converted and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven" (Matthew 18:3) How does a child exercise belief differently from an adult? Adults usually require proof before they will trust in anything. Does God want us to provide for our own needs or depend on him to provide? What would that look like in your life? How do you need to change your heart attitude in order to more fully enjoy God's Fatherhood?

4. Commit to simplifying  your life and seeking God with the innocent heart of a child, depending on him alone to accept you, just as you are.

The author's prayer:

Dear Precious Father,
     Help me to truly understand and know your compassionate love for me. Help me to quiet my heart and lean against you as a small baby leans against her mother. Please open my eyes to your priorities, and give me eyes in my heart to see you and enjoy each day. I do love you! In Jesus' name, amen.

Chapter 6: Staying in step with your partner

 I put off writing or reading this chapter until the last minute. My thoughts were, "well, that's not going to be much fun...reading about being in step with your husband/partner when I don't have one." So, I simply procrastinated. The Lord gently reminded me as I read, that He is my dance partner. I am his beloved.

Even in a marriage, the choreography of life is led by the couple's heavenly father, when their eyes are upon the Lord. Walking through life with or without a significant other can be very frustrating when we don't seek God in and through the various trials we encounter each day or look for Him in the variety of opportunities presented before us each day.

There was an old praise and worship song called "Sometimes by Step" which we used to sing. Some of the lyrics were:
                                                  "Oh God, you are my God
                                                     and I will ever praise you.
                                                    I will seek you in the morning
                                              And I will learn to walk in your ways
                                                 And step by step you'll lead me
                                             And I will follow you all of my days."

Proverbs 3:5-6 says, "Trust in the Lord always. Lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths." When we make God the center of our lives....seeking to know him  and depend on him for our needs....all of them...big and small, the circumstances of life seem less overwhelming.

Several years ago the Lord placed a desire in my heart along with my oldest daughter Lawren to go to Poland on a mission trip. Prior to our eight days over there, I had no idea why it was Poland. God was working all over the world but I pressed in. My Aunt Peg, my dad's only sister,  was to travel with us, since her bone cancer had responded favorable to the stem cell replacement. So the three us of began raising our support for the trip. It was a substantial amount of money for the three of us to take the trip.

 One day while talking to a dear, practical friend, she said, "Well, maybe either Lawren or you shouldn't go so then you are only raising for two....or maybe you should can your beach trip with your mom and use that money for the trip." I really didn't like what she suggested but promised to consider it. When I got off the phone I talked with the Lord. I said, "Lord, I want to go to Poland and I think you want me to go to Poland. But if you don't, I don't want to be any place where you are not right in the center of my activities, so please make it clear. But I believe my friend needs to see you in a new way. Would you please do something for her that would leave no room for her to consider it being anything but from you.

The following Sunday, we put a $200 check in the offering plate towards our trip which had been contributed by a friend and supporter over the weekend. On Monday I received a call from the church secretary to give us a report on contributions. The $200 check was all I was expecting to hear. But to my surprise, four other contributions had come in...one of the four from someone I had not seen in years and another from someone who had not even received a support letter. The total of the four contributions was enough alone for one of us three to make the trip...I am not kidding. As I sat there with my mouth gaping open, I knew the Lord was sending us but also showed up for my friend in a very big way. I couldn't wait to call her with the news.

Our trip ended up being delayed eight months which sadly found Aunt Peg in a declined state of health. The cancer had returned and was not responding to the medicine. Although her faith carried her, she was sorely disappointed in not making the trip. Aunt Peg had made every preparatory team meeting...had bonded with the team...had journaled as she prepared to go...and even shared with me about a song called "Ready" she was recording in her journal.  She sang a few lyrics to me to help me remember, which at the moment brought no memory to mind.

Aunt Peg was admitted to the hospital on Sunday a day after we returned  from Poland. She passed away later that week. Her presence in our lives is still a huge loss but the imprint she left inspires us to greatness still. Never marrying, Aunt Peg had literally treated both my brother and me as her own children and provided opportunities for us that  were difficult for my mom....as a single parent. After my parents divorced she remained an active part of our lives until the day she drew her last breath. She never let the circumstances of life...including divorce...keep her from ministering to us...even regularly thinking of and caring for my mom...always remembering her with something special.

As we planned the memorial service, I was to give a short talk. I recalled the song "Ready" and searched out the lyrics looking for the words to share in the midst of such great loss. I could barely believe the words of the song when I found them.
                               Ready to suffer grief and pain, Ready to stand the test;
                                Ready to stay at home and send Others, if He sees best.
                                       Ready to go, ready to stay, Ready  my place to fill;
                                 Ready for service, lowly or great, Ready to do His will.
The Father already knew Aunt Peg wouldn't make that trip to Poland with us. He was preparing her even when she didn't know it.

During those eight days in Poland, the Lord took me back to my childhood, apartment neighborhoods I had grown up in, a product of a divorced home, riding the bus to church, just hardship...I saw the pain in the eyes of the kids that were bussed in to hear us talk about God, through a translator....many of which had no restroom in their home...and weren't sure where there next meal was coming from.

By the end of the week I had seen enough but the Lord wasn't finished showing Himself to me....our last venture was to a Red Cross Women's home for single mom's specifically many who were recovering from alcohol and drug addiciton. I had been asked to share my testimony not knowing anything other than what I have shared thus far.  When I crossed the threshhold of the door, it was as though I was back in time to entering a transitional living home in Lafayette, LA after a 28 day treatment program for alcohol and drug addiction back in 1988. I had a knot in my stomach that would not go away. As I looked into the eyes of these women...some pregnant, some already mothers of young babies, it was almost an overwhelming reminder of my past life of painful choices.

God was faithful to give me the words to share with these women encouraging them that He alone was enough for each of them as well as their children.  As we drove away that day in the bus, He reminded me like a moving picture in my head of all that had transpired during our week in Poland.  It took my willingness to go across the ocean to be reminded of how God had rescued me as a child, delivered me from addiction and was now revealing that He would also complete the good work he began in me in spite of divorce and single parenting.

How are you staying in step with your partner...your heavenly Father?  What stories do you have of walking with God and seeing Him reveal Himself to you. Who will you share them with. If you can't recall witnessing Him in your everyday life but know Him as Lord, then ask Him to open your eyes to how He is constantly at work all around you in your life...and then like the woman at the well....run and tell everyone.

The author's prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father,
     I want to be mature in my faith. Help me not to give attention to the trivial and troubling issues of my life. Please help me to honor you in my mind, by choosing to believe in your goodness and love for me, even in the midst of my stress. Teach me how to abide in your spirit and how to walk with you so that I may experience your joy each moment of my day. In Jesus' name I come. Amen.

1. Read 2 Corinthians 10:5. What does it mean to take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ? Are there any specific patterns of thought (fear, jealousy, irritation, impatience) that you struggle with? How does this rob your joy? What do you need to do to change that pattern?

2. We know that for Christians the fruit of the Spirit is joy (Galatians 5:22). If you are  a believer, and the Holy Spirit resides in you, what role does he play in producing the fruit of joy in your life? Is God at work to help you? How can you learn to hear more of his voice of encouragement and wisdom throughout your day?

3. Jesus said, "Do not let your heart be troubles; believe in God, believe also in me" (John 14:1). What regularly troubles your heart? What do you need to believe about God in order to move from being troubled to having his joy?

4. What would it take for you to begin practicing "joy checks"? Practice recognizing all the thoughts and feelings that lead you away from trusting God. Then choose to turn the eyes of your heart upon his goodness and trust in him.

Week 4: Dancing Through the Twists and Turns of Life

Were it up to me,  the choreography of my life would be quite different than it has actually played out.  There are seasons of my life, if I could find a way out of or hurt less, I most certainly would.  The book of  James  says, "Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." (James 1:2-4)

In light of this passage and now the experience of my life's trials, I can see how my faith deepened and my relationship with my heavenly father was strengthened through each trial encountered.  There was a time in my life where I walked through life not thinking of ever marrying or having children. My main goal was to graduate college, climb the corporate ladder, and become a successful business woman.

Needless to say I was caught off guard when I found myself expecting a baby right out of college. Within two years I became married and a stay at home mom. Within ten years there were four more children. Furthermore, I NEVER planned to home school....thought that was weird. (See my original post titled,"How I got to this place"). Yet, God had a different plan than me. Our home has been filled with at least one homeschooler for the last thirteen years.

As I slowly let go of my dreams and took God's hand to direct me, many days I encountered various trials in spite of following God. Homeschooling five kids and marriage alone are normal trials....but add the onset of strained finances, losing someone you love to cancer, divorce, kids with emotional holes in their hearts from the physical absence of a parent, working as a single mom, etc

I actually believe the trials in life can often be classified as suffering.  Were it up to me I would choreograph a different life dance for me and my kids...one without pain and suffering. Yet, now I see, on the other side of the pain, how God grew my kids and myself, purifying us from our own best plans, molding us and shaping us into something beautiful....something fit for a king.

Many people bail when the rubber meets the road. When the pain hits, they reach for a quick pain reliever. I learned to ask, "Father, what is it you want me to know in this difficult situation?"

I believe suffering via trials in life come for two reasons: One, to cause us to depend on the Father for EVERYTHING. God has our best interest at heart and knows we can enjoy life the most when we are fully submitted to Him and living out the passions He has placed within us. As we depend on God and live a life in Christ, His character flows from us bringing joy to us and others EVEN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE TRIAL.

The second reason I believe God affords us trials in life is to conform us to the image of Christ. Romans 8:28 says "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love the Lord and are called according to his purpose. Furthermore in verse 29, God says.."For those God predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son...."

As we walk through the various trials of life, destined to happen living in a less than perfect world, holding God's hand, we can have joy.  Psalm 16:11 says, "You will make known to me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy; in Your right hand are pleasures forevermore."

What trials are you walking through?...Are you depending on God...allowing Him to strengthen you as you walk through a difficult situation? How are you responding to your trial....with joy? Or is it a knee jerk reaction that is hurting those around you or a quick relief to your pain?

The author's prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father,

    You are a good father and committed to excellence in my life. Open my eyes that I may see what is really taking place in my heart. Help me to be committed to the long-term pathway of facing my tests and trials with strength and the knowledge that it is in my everyday where greatness of soul is being shaped. Help me to learn to accept with joy the life you have given to me. I love you, Lord. In Jesus' name I come.

Thank you for posting comments. It is with great joy they are received. I say that with the deepest sincerity. For the Father to use me in any way to be an encouragement to you, is great great joy.

Questions to consider this week:

Read James 1:2-3. List the trials that you are experiencing right now. How does God want you to pass the test of these particular trials? What attitude do you need to change or cultivate?

2. Read Psalm 103:8. Do you picture God, as David, even in the midst of your trials? How do you need to change your perception of Him in order to receive his compassion, grace, and generous  lovingkindness.

3. Read 2 Timothy 3:1-3. How does this verse apply to our culture? How does culture with its messages distract us from God's ways for us, to work hard and to endure with grace in order to develop character? What do you need to do to embrace God's ways so that you will find joy as you "dance these steps with him?"

Letting Go to Take God's Hand

 In chapter three of Dancing with my Father, the author discusses letting go of ideals, dreams, etc. we hold onto in order to take God's hand. What makes it interesting is that the idea of "Letting go" follows chapter 2's topic of celebrating God's presence. I believe there is a reason for the order. Without the presence of God in our lives, it would be impossible to let go of some things the Father asks us of us.

On Tuesday we put Lawren on the plane to leave for six months for Berlin. As I sat at the airport I recalled bringing Lawren home from Kansas through the same airport some eighteen years earlier. The memory of watching her walk through security and head back to her gate still brings tears to my eyes this morning.

Letting go requires trusting. Letting go for me says, "God, I know you are for me. I know you are our protector and I know you love  my kids more than I ever could."Furthermore, letting go declares my belief that nothing can come into our lives that doesn't first sift through the hands of God." Knowing that Lawren walks in these truths as well, spread some comfort in the pain of her absence.

Why is letting go so hard? I believe we live in a society that says "Be all you can be...you can do anything you want....the sky is the limit....but rarely is God included in these ideals. We go to school and maybe onto college, we start a career, maybe a family, and look outward for what makes success.  We look for tangible evidence of our identity...a paycheck, organizations we belong to, social recognition, awards we receive,etc. When actually, God is much more interested in our heart.

We want these nice little lives...cookie cutter..where all our houses look the same or we compete for who has the best this or that...we want these highly intelligent kids who make it better than your neighbor's kids do....we want the best houses, the best cars, and fifty yard line tickets to every home game for the Tide or the Tigers. Oh, and Lord don't make us suffer any...that's ugly.


But those dreams are futile. They don't impress God. He loves us through our pettiness and affords opportunities for us to let go of our petty dreams, which we thought so grand, and grab hold of the Almighty God's dreams. They are dreams we often can't see immediately, which require an act of faith on our part. But holding God's hand as we let go of all we hold onto vertically in this world speaks volumes to those around us.  Trusting God for the dance of life says, I really don't know where all this is going, but I know it's going to be good.

I believe there are times that the Lord allows some angst to transpire where we question our beliefs about life....maybe a hardship in marriage, problems with our kids, loss of a job, etc. The suffering forces us to reach down deep in our soul to answer the problems we face day to day in a less than perfect world. When things don't go down as we planned or dreamed there is great disappointment and often discouragement.

Many people take the quickest, fastest way to ease their pain....they file for divorce, lash out at their kids, blame their boss, etc. However, the reality is often, when you belong to God, He is pressing in wanting us to let go of our dreams in order to see a bigger and better plan He has for us.


It is a day to day and often moment to moment process for me. I battle taking the reigns back to control all I can in my little corner of the world. But He is gentle with me as He reminds me, "Daughter, I got this one. This one is a little too big for you. Take my hand. I will lead. I love you."

May I never get over how in love the Father is with me in spite of how often I run ahead or forget to take his hand.  I would love to hear from any of you studying with us online through your posts as to how God is teaching you.

The author's prayer,

Dear Heavenly Father,

I thank you that you have my best in mind when you direct my life in the difficult places.  Open the eyes of my heart that I may see your love in the midst of my suffering. Help me to see clearly the blessings that you have brought from these lessons in the past.  I want to relinquish all the earthly things I have been depending on for joy, and ask you to fill me with the joy that comes from holding your hand and knowing you are with me every step of my life. In Jesus name I come to you. Amen.

Chapter 3 Questions:
1.Read Matthew 6:19-21...What are the treasures on earth that you have looked to for happiness or fulfillment? What do you think the treasures of heaven are?How do you look for these treasures.

2. Read Matthew 6:33...What does it mean practically, and in your heart, to seek first the kingdom of God? Name five ways that God wants you to do this.

3. Read Hebrews 12:10..In what areas has God disciplined you? How is he disciplining you now? What does God promise will be the result of your submission to his discipline? (See Hebrews 12:11 for help)

"First Supper Send Off"

Last night was the first of a series of celebrations to send Lawren, my oldest daughter,  off to Berlin,  Germany on Tuesday.  During a mission trip to Katawice, Poland several years ago, the Lord began stirring her heart for Europe.  There is no other way to explain a lot about Lawren than to say her heart turned toward all that God was doing in Europe a long time ago. She drives a Jetta, dresses different than anyone else in the family, skypes regularly with missionary friends in Poland, and has been pursuing Europe for three years literally counting the days til graduation.

So, as the time nears we all are celebrating and blessing Lawren as she embarks on this new journey and enters into this new season of life.

When I first began planning last night's dinner, I considered calling it a "Last Supper" as Jesus had with his disciples just before the cross. The night Jesus washed their feet teaching them to love and serve others. But I thought that sounded quite morbid. However, as I pondered that last supper I realized that supper in history is actually why we were celebrating last night with Lawren.

Had Jesus not instructed his disciples to "wash one another's feet" and gone on to experience death on the cross then Lawren would have no heartfelt purpose for going and serving those unknown to her. It is the realization of all that Christ has done for us that propels each of us to greatness through loving and serving those around us...near and afar. Christ came to save all....those near and far.

Never again in scripture do we see a foot washing. In bible times, sandals were worn and there were no roads. So feet were filthy from hours and hours of walking. Jesus washing the disciples feet (only recorded in John) was a picture of how far one should go to practice servant leadership. There is no task too dirty or small for our Lord and neither is there for us who belong to him.

Not only did they have a foot washing at the Last Supper but they took the Lord's supper as well. Of course the disciples did not understand what they were doing because Jesus was yet to die. But Christ took the bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them, saying, "This is my body given for you; do this in remembrance of me." In the same way, after the supper he took the cup, saying, "This cup is the new covenant in my blood, which is poured out for you."

Realizing what Christ has done for myself as well as my family, we celebrated with the Lord's supper last night, praying over Lawren and blessing her. Our little group was small but that group with Christ was small. Yet, what happened that night followed quickly by the death, burial, and resurrection of Christ catapulted Christianity with the birth of the church... Christ followers.

As a momma, it is with joy that I bless Lawren's journey and challenge each of you...

What is the event of the cross propelling each of you to do...who is the Father calling you to love and serve. How far is He asking you to go....how small or great a task, or how dirty a job does he have before you.

A Heart that Dances to Celebrate God's Presence

My oldest daughter leaves in five days for Berlin, Germany for six months. Lawren will be attending a discipleship training school with YWAM: Youth With A Mission. This adventure has been on her heart for the last three years and is finally coming to be.

It is with great joy that these final days together are days of celebration. Tomorrow night is a "First Supper Send Off" here in our home for those who have influenced Lawren  in her decision to go and make disciples in all nations (Matthew28:19). Saturday night is our family gathering to  celebrate Lawren's venture. Finally, Sunday, we end with a come and go after church here at the river for people to wish her well, give her one last hug for a while, and enjoy food and fellowship.


If I did not know my heavenly Father was omnipresent: present everywhere all the time I can't imagine feeling joyful about Lawren leaving. Just last week we talked about the presence of sin all around us in a less than perfect world. Sending your first born off without momma is not something easily done in the natural realm. But the realization that God loves her more than I ever could and promises to never leave her or forsake her (Hebrews 13:5) eases my soul. And the delight that she has heard from God and is trusting Him in this huge way at such an early age is actually enough to make a momma dance.

Today I worked all day, left to make two deliveries, squeezed in a record's check for my high school daughter who still home schools, returned to work, then loaded and left for a catering job. When done, I stopped for groceries, came home, and got the kids to bed who were still up. I woke up around 1:30 am and began prepping the food for tonight's dinner. Hopefully, pictures will be forthcoming. Anyway, I worked on the food until now 4:18 am. The only downfall was I couldn't turn the music on because all the kids were asleep but I still felt like dancing.

I don't include you in the busyness of my life to impress you or to pump myself up but to encourage you that the Father brings great joy when our hearts are turned to Him and in His presence is fullness of joy.(Psalm 16:11)

As David experienced a miracle in the fight with the giant Goliath, we too experience miracles in the presence of God. David came to the fight against the giant  with only a slingshot and five smooth stones. Likewise, we come to battle, whatever the battle is, tired, discouraged, frustrated, overworked, underpaid, under appreciated, etc. But the battle is the Lords, as was David's. David needed a miracle. He was outnumbered and  outsized. We need a miracle. As moms there is more work than possible to complete in a day...lives to change, diapers to change, spills to pick up, children and friends that are depending on us to inspire them to greatness. A friend once said, "To experience a miracle, one must live in a place of "need".

"Blessed are the poor in spirit because theirs is the kingdom of heaven" (Matthew 5:3) "Poor in spirit" indicates we are in need and that we are. We are desperately in need of a savior, a rescuer. Last week in class, I mentioned James Dobson's book Emotions Can You Trust Them. I told the group that Dobson's basically spends 300+ pages and answers this question with a resounding "NO". Likewise, our study, Dancing with the Father, in a nutshell will point to one way to have joy....a vertical relationship with your heavenly father. If there is a problem with your relationship with God....don't expect joy. You will look horizontally to your kids, your husband, your work, your relationships, your social status, etc to bring you joy only to end up empty handed or temporarily happy.....a big difference from joy.

But hang on. Through the course of the book, we will unpack specifics of helping us to remain focused upward while enjoying all the Father has for us outward. So whether you are wrestling with toddlers or sending off your first born, may you have fullness of joy in His presence.

The author's prayer:

"Dear Heavenly Father,

I long to live freely in your joy. I want to love you with all my heart, for all the days of my life. Please meet me at my present point of need. Show me your reality and heal my heart of any wrong ideas about you. Take away the burden of striving, so that I may enjoy each day, really knowing the reality of your presence. I love you Lord, Amen."


Please feel free to post comments on what questions inspire you or challenge you or minister to you. I look forward to your comments.

Chapter 2 questions:

1. Psalm 16:11 says, "You will make known to me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy; in Your right hand there are pleasures forever." David found strength and great joy in knowing God in the midst of his difficulties. He was not a perfect man; he made mistakes just like you and I do. But that didn't affect his confidence in his relationship with his God.

Write down the adjectives that describe what you find in your heart's relationship with God (fear, disillusionment, condemnation, contentment, doubt, happiness.)

What specific obstacles prevent you from experiencing God's love and joy?

Where does this passage tell us we will find joy? What does that mean to you?

2. James 4:4 says, "You adultersses, do you not know that friendship with the world is hostility to God? Therefore, whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God."

What does this passage say are the consequences of being a friend with the world?

3.  Saul had ruled by his own thoughts, will and prowess and led the people into spiritual devastation.  David wanted to consecrate his kingship on the understanding that he was merely a servant of God and that only when God was exalted in their midst would Israel be blessed. You might say that Saul was a picture of following the world and David was a picture of following God. These men reflected two different kinds of heart allegiance: one leading the people to vanity, one leading the people to God and life.

What style of living do you see more of yourself in, Saul's or David's?

What could you change to bring your life more in line with how David lived his life?