Single Mom Sabbath: When God stops you dead in your tracks.

During the years of counseling prior to my divorce, I remember asking one counselor over the phone if there was anything I was missing. I asked her if there was something I was blind to that I was not addressing.

As my marriage appeared to be failing, my only concern was disobeying God. I had tasted the pleasure of living in obedience...I had come to a place of realizing even if I could please no one else on the face of the earth I could please the living God.

My counselor answered with fear and trepidation (no one can give you permission to divorce). It's a faith journey between you and God. Lisa answered,  "Pam, you are an overcomer. You have persevered through childhood trauma of alcoholism, abuse, and much more. You have the strength to persevere through much but I think that strength might be working against you."

Because I am a persevering person I remain in difficult situations longer than some because of the hope I have in Christ that He is a miracle making God. Then there are the times, like this past Thursday, when He stops me dead in my tracks because He can't get my attention any other way.

I woke up at 2 am Friday morning with severe chest pain. It was as though someone had their hand around my heart as was squeezing it. After prayerful consideration I woke my daughter Mary Catherine up and requested a ride to the ER.

After 12 hours of questions, tests, and blood work, I was diagnosed as heart healthy. The stress test operator actually affirmed that, for an asthmatic, I performed outstanding.

Only once before has God used my health to get my attention. I had been ill with respiratory issues, job stress, and other single working mom woes for a full six months. I was driving back from Atlanta at the end of Spring Break with a fever I couldn't break. As Hannah, my fourteen year old,  sat next me I realized I could not continue with the current stressful job situation. I simply was unable to care well for the children God entrusted to me.

Upon returning home I began a forty day fast to seek the Lord. It was another act of obedience to my pastor and exhortation from my oldest daughter Lawren. Our church pastor had called a fast for our body. But it was my belief single moms need to eat often everyday in order to survive. I chose something other than food to fast from but fasted nonetheless.

Since I didn't have a particular request from God at the time, when tempted to break the fast, I simply prayed, "Lord, I want to know you more."

My body was too fatigued from the illness to worry about my future. I knew the truth that it was in God's hands. He was faithful to provide and would continue to be true to His character.

At the end of the fast, I could never have imagined the opportunity God would open for our family. He provided us with a small business in our community that has become a place of ministry to others: 

Graves Grocery: A Community Reststop.

A Place to Satisfy your Hunger and your Heart

Our little resting place. Thank you God.

June will make two years of being a small business owner. It is the most rewarding job I have ever had and satisfies my desire to be available for my children anytime. They stop by before and after school to eat. Often I even get to feed their friends.  It was what I loved during the years I could stay at home and homeschool my children. Even though God closed that season of my life He faithfully afforded a creative way for me to continue to minister to my children even though I had to return to work outside the home....I believe it was all because I fasted.

So today I officially begin a new fast as we enter into Holy Week. The prophet Isaiah in chapter 58 spoke on fasting to the people of Israel who were getting it wrong:

"Shout! A full-throated shout! Hold nothing back-a trumpet-blast shout! Tell my people what's wrong with their lives, face my family Jacob with their sins! They're busy, busy, busy, at worship, and love studying about me. To all appearances they're a nation of right-living people--law abiding, God-honoring. They ask me, "What's the right thing to do?' and love having me on their side. But they also complain, 'Why do we fast and you don't look our way? Why do we humble ourselves and you don't even notice? "Well, here's why: "The bottom line on your "fast days" is profit. You drive your employees much too hard. You fast, but at the same time you bicker and fight. You fast, but you swing a mean fist. The kind of fasting you do won't get your prayers off the ground. Do you think this is the kind of fast I'm after: a day to show off humility? To put on a pious face and parade solemnly in black? Do you call that fasting, a fast day that I, God, would like?" 

My pastor says God is telling them they are all saturated with themselves...they are not restoring others. I don't want to be known as a person like that. So today I fast because God's stopped me dead in my tracks and I don't want to miss what He's trying to tell me...or what He's got waiting for me at the end. I want to fast like this:

"This is the kind of fast day I'm after: to break the chains of injustice, get rid of exploitation in the workplace, free the oppressed, cancel debts. What I'm interested in seeing you do is: sharing your food with the hungry, inviting the homeless poor into your homes, putting clothes on the shivering ill clad, being available to your own families. Do this and the lights will be turned on, and your lives will turn around at once. Your righteousness will pave your way. The God of glory will secure your passage. Then when you pray, God will answer. You'll call out for help and I'll say, 'Here I am.' If you get rid of unfair practices, quit blaming victims, quit gossiping about other people's sins, If you are generous with the hungry and start giving yourselves to the down and out, Your lives will begin to glow in the darkness, your shadowed lives will be bathed in the sunlight. I will always show you where to go. I'll give you a full life in the emptiest of places-firm muscles, strong bones. You'll be like a well watered garden, a gurgling spring that never runs dry. You'll use the old rubble of past lives to build anew, rebuild the foundations from out of your past. You'll be known as those who can fix anything, restore old ruins, rebuild and renovate, make the community livable again.'

So, as my friends tell me to rest more, I won't ignore their cry. I am making intentional changes to my diet. I am backing up my bedtime by an hour. 

Yet, I can not stop being who I am created to be in Christ:  a woman called to love and serve her family and others God's placed in my path. I will walk in the truth that the stripes He bore on Calvary have healed me of earthly diseases. I will believe He has given me a great capacity to love others because His love resides in me. I am His. He is mine. (John 15:4)  

And as I fast, I will wait patiently for Him to reveal Himself to me, like the prophet Habakkuk, will wait with anticipation.

Will you consider how this Holy Week you might hear from God. Normally I would never even admit I was fasting...it sounds pompous. Yet, I am finding many who struggle with basic knowledge of spiritual disciplines.

A fast, is a spiritual discipline to draw us closer to the Lord. It is not a requirement of God but an opportunity to know God better. Matthew 6:16-18

 When some are introduced to a concept of fasting they lack understanding that the fast is a personal journey with a loving heavenly father. So here's mine. This month I will fast from refined sugar and processed foods. I know it's a small change I can make to live healthier. When I am tempted to grab a Snicker's mini bar, I will say, "Lord, I want to know you more." And I will rely on His strength to keep walking pass the candy jar.

Your's will probably look totally different. Maybe you need a break from social media, drinking, shopping, etc. But will you choose something?

I can't wait to share what God reveals and hope you will do the same.

Happy Holy Week. 

Love, Pam

 

 

Single Mom Sabbath: How I rest after I work

It's almost time for bed but I so want to be faithful in this weekly blogging venture in order to offer hope and encouragement for single moms.

So I decided to write tonight about how I actually rest after I work. Often as women it's easy to fall into comparison in many areas of our life. We read magazine articles or online posts about how to do about anything based on another's viewpoints.

I remember the wise words of my mentor Sally Clarkson years ago, " comparing ourselves to others results in feelings of superiority or inferiority."

So tonight I won't tell you how to rest.

I'll only tell you it's a principle in scripture set forth by God. If God decided rest was good, I believe I can trust Him and learn from His example in my own life. Yet, how could I tell you how to rest when scripture doesn't indicate HOW God rested. It only indicates He did. Certainly it means He ceased the work before the rest BUT it never says specifically what the "rest" looked like.

I conclude that because He designed us all uniquely our rest will be our own as well.

This morning I returned home from the 4th annual Mom Heart retreat in our area. Around 20 of us gathered together starting Friday night to celebrate our lives as mom through fellowship , encouragement, and equipping.

We were missing a few here but thankful nonetheless for a sweet memory!

Thank you Ashley and Sydney for amazing worship.

I love how a community of moms celebrate God together.

Our time together each year is unique and beautiful . Yet, there's typically a physical crash after the weekend from expending myself emotionally, physically, and spiritually. The retreat ends early Sunday morning so we can each attend church. I was looking forward to an afternoon nap but  there was a dear friend from the retreat who's problems weighed heavily on my heart.

Upon checking in I with her I realized she was still in a very difficult place so I invited her over  rather than nap . We had a hard but good visit for over an hour.

When she left I had to check the inventory at the store after being away for the weekend to determine what was needed to open tomorrow. Then it was immediately time to leave for life group. We are part of a new life group with old friends so it's really been wonderful to reconnect. As a matter of fact my friend Terri actually participated in this weekend's retreat by cooking delicious food for both Friday and Saturday night. She also brought along two of her daughters who helped with serving and blessed us with an amazing time of worship.

So many may wonder when did I  ever rest. I wanted to share that for myself my rest today came from being in community with other believers. Healthy community is never a work that requires a rest. There may be some tasks to get a dish ready to share but the sharing, fellowship, prayer, and equipping that occurs brings REST to my soul after a weekend of pouring out.

So friends please give yourself grace today for HOW you rest. Sometimes it might be a 5-6 minute cup of hot tea, others might take their rest in an elevator to the next appointment, while other days like today it might look like running to those who care about you and want to invest in your life.

Your soul was fashioned by the creator of the universe...He knows every star by name and the numbers of hairs on your head. and He knows what we need individually to find rest  for our souls be it a time of solitude or community.

Will you today stop comparing how you are prompted to care for your soul. Will you today simply embrace the mandate to "Be still and know that  He is God."

I would love to hear from you the creative ways He brings you rest.

Love, Pam

Single Mom Sabbath: Why I Keep Trying

I'm back....barely.  Today marks day 10 of feeling yucky. Thankfully, I'm one of the ones who fell into the blessing of Obamacare. After 15 years of no insurance I am now insured and on antibiotics for a severe sinus infection. Alabama has seen temps vary in 24 hours by more than 30 degrees. We haven't known whether to wear snow boots or flip flops. Ironically, this weather calls to mind the internal crisis I can incur daily left to my own.

Being sick for so many days while life continues to happen can spiral one into depression quickly. As the sole proprietor of our family business, there is no shutting down due to illness because we want to eat everyday. Therefore someone's gotta go to work.

However feeling bad will allow justification for letting the less important stuff go...folding laundry, cooking, and cleaning. Hence, the idea for today's Sabbath post. I've had my Easter tote of decorations out for over a week. In the attic, I keep a tote for every major holiday and 1000 totes for Christmas:)

I try to split the decorations: taking some to the store to inspire my customers while keeping some at home to continue the tradition for the children of bringing their thoughts toward something more than their cell phones or dinner.

Today Lawren, my oldest daughter, and her husband Brandon are coming for lunch. I never knew how much I would miss her when she got married. They only live about an hour away but they both work full time while she also teaches dance. Our schedules leave time for texts and short phone calls occasionally.

Because they are coming I became motivated to finally empty the Easter tote to bring some beauty into the clutter for lunch today. As I cut the devotion strips, punched holes (btw: I've been looking for our hole puncher for two weeks minimum...finally broke down last night and sent Hannah into Wal-Mart to purchase one because I had already stopped earlier in the week at the Dollar Tree to come up empty handed), hung the devotion cards onto the Easter tree, I questioned myself, "Why do you keep trying?"

Here's the first pic: leftover Valentine decor becomes an Easter Tree but first have to rid the clutter!

Why do I persevere season after season of climbing into the attic, finding and dragging down the appropriate tote, clear off a spot to decorate, and then take it down to start over again? Well, because my first thought is, "If I don't take the time to do this for my  kids, who will?" There isn't anyone else here.

I want my kids to know the importance of tradition and beauty. I want them to know holidays are special and some even sacred and holy. How can they know that if they are not invited in to celebrate?

More than tradition, I want to obey the command in scripture to teach my children. In Deuteronomy 11:18-19

"You shall therefore impress these words of mine on your heart and on your soul; and you shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontals on your forehead. You shall teach them to your sons, talking of them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road and when you lie down and when you rise up."

When I stop a moment to think about all God has rescued me from, how He has redeemed and restored me, His great love for me is written on every page of my story.

We love because God first loved us...1st John 4:19

A love response to God from me is my small effort to impact my children's hearts for the kingdom of God by bringing out the decorations. Their hearts are precious and it is my responsibility and privilege to speak life into them in creative ways. I am trusting that because I keep trying and God is faithful, my efforts will not be in vain.

Final pic: the reason I keep trying: Because God has entrusted these 5 precious soles to this single momma.

Will you consider this morning how the Holy One has rescued, redeemed, and restored you?

Will you ask the Holy Spirit for creativity to pull some items together and place as a focal point to celebrate the Lenten season as we prepare our hearts for Easter.

Yes, it is a little work to get it done, but the result is rest for my soul which is my aim.

Bringing beauty into my home and into our hearts pushes the negative out of  my spirit and replaces with rest of God. Will you try it and tell me about it?

Love, Pam

Single Mom Sabbath

Today marks something new in my writing arena: my attempt to reach single moms with a word of encouragement and inspiration. It is my desire to blog weekly about some of the joys and hardships I've faced the last decade as a single working mother of five. I would especially like to write about how I have found rest as a single mom. Meet the kids and me: 

Left to right: Mary Catherine 20, Hannah Rose 14, John Jay 16, Thomas 12, Lawren 23

This was Christmas Day and we were too lazy to figure out how to set up the camera to include my  new son in law Brandon, who took the picture for us...but stay tuned...He' a dear.  Oh let me at least go ahead and show you a picture of the two love birds:

Mr. and Mrs. Brandon Johnson

Ok, now you know the family...or at least can put a face to a name when I share about them.

After returning last week from a national mom heart conference and speaking to so many beautiful moms who were either in difficult marriages themselves, recently divorced, or trying to determine how best to minister to a hurting friend God placed in their path, I felt it a good time to begin to share from my own pain to possibly help others. 

Tonight I want to expound on the idea of "rest", which can seem like an oxymoron to a single mom. Yet, I'm not talking about necessarily a physical rest but a rest in our spirit from the turmoil of life.

In Matthew 11:28-30 we find the command to rest:

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰ For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

If a command exists because we are burdened then we must believe Jesus knew we would be weary and burdened as mommas. His yoke we are instructed to take and learn from refer to His teachings. Again the command is given to "take" the yoke or teachings. If we are going to "take" something then action is required on our part.

This is why I make the necessary adjustments in my family's life to attend the annual Mom Heart conference each year. I want to take Jesus teachings I receive there because I have learned when I embrace Christ teachings I find rest for my spirit.

I met Christina, another  mom in the process of divorce after attending conferences for over a decade of feeling somewhat isolated as a divorcee. After having the opportunity to share at the conference, Christina found me and we spent the next two hours in the hallway sharing heartache and prayer to continue to rely on God for strength.

God has kept our hearts united via social media and we recently met up again in Dallas.  Meet my lovely friend Christina, former flight attendant...now primary grade teacher and single mom to two precious girls.

I am questioned every year upon returning about my trip. So imagine this: we look for friendships in life with women who value what we value and model a life of faith. In this world if we find a handful of those women as friends, we are blessed. Yet, each year, at the conference, you are in a room with 700 plus women who love God deeply and desire to edify Him through their family...whatever that looks like regardless of your education venue, number of children, denomination, or professional work choices. It is a filling like none other the entire year.

That's why we make the logistical, financial, and time sacrifices to go. Because we believe God's word to be true and take Him at His word. He tells us to rest by taking His teachings so we believe and act on our belief.

A faith walk always requires action on our part. Will you believe you are God's treasured possession today because that's what He says about you. Will you take the action necessary to rest your spirit. A conference in another state might not work right now for you. But today, especially with online bible studies, the opportunities are endless to take God at His word. Take His teachings and receive rest.

I hope you will share below How you are fleshing out these things in your faith walk...and how you are experiencing the rest of God in  your life.

I look forward to hearing from you and sharing with you again soon. Please share these words with any of your single momma friends.

Love,
Pam

Why I Keep Coming Back

I'm just off the end of an incredible weekend from the Mom Heart conference held in Dallas. With little time to process the weekend of inspiration, I hit the ground running Monday morning. Small family run businesses don't wait for attention.

However, one aspect of my time away included the return to writing. Originally I thought I would have plenty of down time at the store to write. Yet, God has seen fit to grow the business leaving me only time to satisfy customers, old and new, as they venture into our little community reststop every day.

So now I'm starting tiny...

A tiny new habit of writing to get back in the swing of sharing all that's bubbling up inside my soul.

Presently I am pressing through a Lenten devotion. I like it because it's short and powerful. Today's passage was Acts 2: 42-47:

"They were continually devoting themselves to the apostle's teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and prayer. Everyone kept feeling a sense of awe; and many wonders and signs were taking place among the apostles. And all those who had believed were together and had all things in common, and they began selling their property and possessions and were sharing them with all, as anyone might have need. Day by day continuing with one mind in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, they were taking their meals together with gladness and sincerity of heart, praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord was adding to their number day by day those who were being saved."

This past weekend at the Dallas Mom Heart Conference this is what occurred:

We devoted ourselves to teaching
and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and prayer
As believers we were together and had much in common in regards to the love for our Lord and our families
We were glad and sincere in heart, praising God 

 For fourteen years I have travelled to spend time with like minded moms, to celebrate the biblical design of motherhood and to grow my faith.

It will most likely take the entire year to process the weekend. But for today I want to share this from my Lenten devotion:

"By Grace, today I fast from the lie that my calling isn't great enough because God isn't calling for people great in skills, schooling, or spotlights---He's calling those simply great in community, in confession, in communion, in courage, great in Christ. Today i will do ordinary things with extraordinarily great love. We repent of wanting to be greater instead of loving greater.

I will keep coming back because it's what I need:

Community

Confession

Communion

Courage

Great in Christ...so I can love greater

Thank you Sally Clarkson, my Mom Heart mentor as well as the tireless servants who fed us so well physically, emotionally, and spiritually this weekend.  We will always keep coming back because it's Jesus that we find year after year...up close and personal. I am eternally grateful for your years of service to thousands of moms across the globe.