I really don't know what I would do without my friends. My mom says I have the greatest friends in the world and I believe it. I have spent years of my life in and out of counseling to deal with various life issues only to find myself back now with a wonderful Godly woman to help me process my grief over losing the man I loved. Yet, once I remember a counselor saying it's hard to have more than 5 really close friends at a time, as he held up his hand showing the five fingers. He said, "If you can count this many close friends consider yourself blessed. Anymore than five then the relationships become superficial...rather than transparent. My deepest friendships have remained between three and four and have changed periodically throughout my life.
A while back I blogged on "community". I began an ongoing series on biblical community. How does that look to us? As I mentioned in that post, God has never been alone. In Genesis at creation, the Father, son, and spirit were all present. It is a picture for us as we journey through life, that we as well are not to be alone. God is relational as He relates to His son, His spirit and as He relates to us. Likewise, He has made us relational.
If we have embraced God's presence in our lives and are walking hand in hand with Him, we are able to recognize the gift of friendships He has afforded us. These are the friendships that unconditionally love and accept you no matter how ugly you can get. These are the friendships that don't think any less of you when you vent out of frustration, fear, or insecurity. Furthermore, they are the friends who listen, offer empathy, walk alongside you, and encourage you. They often exhort you but not before they sympathize. These relationships are strengthened by shared struggles and somehow these friends always know just the right words or kind act to minister to me. It's the friendships that regardless of how long circumstances keep us apart, we pick right back up as though we were together yesterday.
When you spend enough time with a person, ask enough questions, and ponder or reflect on the deep things of life, you get to know the person's heart. In deep friendships we hope to discover that, like God, the other person is "for us"...they have our best interest at heart...they are our biggest cheerleader...our number one fan and they are "good" all the time to us...Furthermore, it is their desire to see us succeed in whatever passions the Father is welling up within us...they rally around us to support us, offering either words of encouragement, practical helps, spiritual advice, or prayer support.
You find that when you are with one another there is an energy that calls you to something great.
Recently at a conference in Denver, a speaker said she tried to look for relationships that when she left the person, she either loved God more or knew Him better. What a challenge to each of us! To move beyond the superficial lifestyle and really come alongside another person to journey through life with...the the good times and the bad. Isn't that what Christ would do. He never looked for the easy people to love. He even went out of His way to hang out with sinners. He often turned the other way or had a strong word for the Pharisees. He came for the hurting. When our friends are hurting they need to see the love of Christ. It can get messy and uncomfortable when we commit to go deep but I believe the Father is glorified when we are the hands and feet of Christ to those who are hurting.
It is with great joy that I celebrate the significant friendships the Father has offered me. Each one increases my joy as life is celebrated in the day to day lives we lead whether it be at work, in ministry, or having coffee at a nearby cafe.
Finally I conclude with the aspect of "value". God valued me enough to die. The creator of heaven and earth thought highly enough of Pam to stretch out his arms and surrender to the will of His father God. That sacrificial life-love offering wells up and spills out of my friendships. When one becomes aware of their value in God's eyes, the joy cannot be contained...it pours over into all your relationships....placing value on each person you contact.
Society or culture often sends the message that it is weak to admit your struggles....that it is a sign of weakness to admit you are struggling or need help or don't have all the answers. People find themselves isolating and end up bitter, alone, and resentful missing out on the shared blessings of walking in community. The enemy wants us to feel alone, devalued and unappreciated. Staying in those negative mindsets keep us from being Christ to others and sharing the joy of the Lord through the blessing of friendship...biblical community.
What friendships are you cultivating? If you are isolating, would you ask the Lord who He would have you reach out to? When we belong to Christ, we are called to love and serve regardless of who is ministering to us...it is not about us waiting to get our needs met then reaching out to someone. Furthermore, it is in the midst of our own struggles continuing to think of others..taking the focus off of own self centeredness and focusing on the needs of those around us. I promise...it will bring joy. I hope you will write and tell me about it.
The author's prayer:
Dear Heavenly Father,
It is often so hard for me to love some of those whom you have placed in my life, especially when I feel that I am giving of myself more than they are giving to me. Help me to learn to practice love as Jesus showed me his love. Restore to me the joy that comes from extending your love to others. Thank you for always loving me, no matter what. I really want to abide always in your everlasting love. I love you. Amen.
1. Read John 15:12. How has Jesus loved you? How does that mean you should love others? Is there any relationship in your life which you have not loved the person as Christ has commanded? What can you do to make that relationship right?
2. Read 1 Peter 2:23. If we follow the the model of Christ, what should we do when we find ourselves in an "unfair" relationship, in which we are rejected or harshly treated? Are there any relationships in which you need to follow his example? How can you find joy in those situations?
3. Read Proverbs 17:22. In relationships how can you cultivate a "joyful" heart?Is there anything broken in your spirit? How does loving others and serving them for the sake of the God who serves and loves you, bring healing to your whole body and heart. What steps do you need to take to serve more, give more, and love more practically in order to move into the area of a joyful heart?
4.Commit to practice the following: "I will resolve to love others with the sacrificial love with which I have been loved by God. I will seek to trust him to show his love through me by practicing being a servant and lover of all those he has placed in my arena of life."
a great read... as always. love you!
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