Chapter 6: Staying in step with your partner

 I put off writing or reading this chapter until the last minute. My thoughts were, "well, that's not going to be much fun...reading about being in step with your husband/partner when I don't have one." So, I simply procrastinated. The Lord gently reminded me as I read, that He is my dance partner. I am his beloved.

Even in a marriage, the choreography of life is led by the couple's heavenly father, when their eyes are upon the Lord. Walking through life with or without a significant other can be very frustrating when we don't seek God in and through the various trials we encounter each day or look for Him in the variety of opportunities presented before us each day.

There was an old praise and worship song called "Sometimes by Step" which we used to sing. Some of the lyrics were:
                                                  "Oh God, you are my God
                                                     and I will ever praise you.
                                                    I will seek you in the morning
                                              And I will learn to walk in your ways
                                                 And step by step you'll lead me
                                             And I will follow you all of my days."

Proverbs 3:5-6 says, "Trust in the Lord always. Lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths." When we make God the center of our lives....seeking to know him  and depend on him for our needs....all of them...big and small, the circumstances of life seem less overwhelming.

Several years ago the Lord placed a desire in my heart along with my oldest daughter Lawren to go to Poland on a mission trip. Prior to our eight days over there, I had no idea why it was Poland. God was working all over the world but I pressed in. My Aunt Peg, my dad's only sister,  was to travel with us, since her bone cancer had responded favorable to the stem cell replacement. So the three us of began raising our support for the trip. It was a substantial amount of money for the three of us to take the trip.

 One day while talking to a dear, practical friend, she said, "Well, maybe either Lawren or you shouldn't go so then you are only raising for two....or maybe you should can your beach trip with your mom and use that money for the trip." I really didn't like what she suggested but promised to consider it. When I got off the phone I talked with the Lord. I said, "Lord, I want to go to Poland and I think you want me to go to Poland. But if you don't, I don't want to be any place where you are not right in the center of my activities, so please make it clear. But I believe my friend needs to see you in a new way. Would you please do something for her that would leave no room for her to consider it being anything but from you.

The following Sunday, we put a $200 check in the offering plate towards our trip which had been contributed by a friend and supporter over the weekend. On Monday I received a call from the church secretary to give us a report on contributions. The $200 check was all I was expecting to hear. But to my surprise, four other contributions had come in...one of the four from someone I had not seen in years and another from someone who had not even received a support letter. The total of the four contributions was enough alone for one of us three to make the trip...I am not kidding. As I sat there with my mouth gaping open, I knew the Lord was sending us but also showed up for my friend in a very big way. I couldn't wait to call her with the news.

Our trip ended up being delayed eight months which sadly found Aunt Peg in a declined state of health. The cancer had returned and was not responding to the medicine. Although her faith carried her, she was sorely disappointed in not making the trip. Aunt Peg had made every preparatory team meeting...had bonded with the team...had journaled as she prepared to go...and even shared with me about a song called "Ready" she was recording in her journal.  She sang a few lyrics to me to help me remember, which at the moment brought no memory to mind.

Aunt Peg was admitted to the hospital on Sunday a day after we returned  from Poland. She passed away later that week. Her presence in our lives is still a huge loss but the imprint she left inspires us to greatness still. Never marrying, Aunt Peg had literally treated both my brother and me as her own children and provided opportunities for us that  were difficult for my mom....as a single parent. After my parents divorced she remained an active part of our lives until the day she drew her last breath. She never let the circumstances of life...including divorce...keep her from ministering to us...even regularly thinking of and caring for my mom...always remembering her with something special.

As we planned the memorial service, I was to give a short talk. I recalled the song "Ready" and searched out the lyrics looking for the words to share in the midst of such great loss. I could barely believe the words of the song when I found them.
                               Ready to suffer grief and pain, Ready to stand the test;
                                Ready to stay at home and send Others, if He sees best.
                                       Ready to go, ready to stay, Ready  my place to fill;
                                 Ready for service, lowly or great, Ready to do His will.
The Father already knew Aunt Peg wouldn't make that trip to Poland with us. He was preparing her even when she didn't know it.

During those eight days in Poland, the Lord took me back to my childhood, apartment neighborhoods I had grown up in, a product of a divorced home, riding the bus to church, just hardship...I saw the pain in the eyes of the kids that were bussed in to hear us talk about God, through a translator....many of which had no restroom in their home...and weren't sure where there next meal was coming from.

By the end of the week I had seen enough but the Lord wasn't finished showing Himself to me....our last venture was to a Red Cross Women's home for single mom's specifically many who were recovering from alcohol and drug addiciton. I had been asked to share my testimony not knowing anything other than what I have shared thus far.  When I crossed the threshhold of the door, it was as though I was back in time to entering a transitional living home in Lafayette, LA after a 28 day treatment program for alcohol and drug addiction back in 1988. I had a knot in my stomach that would not go away. As I looked into the eyes of these women...some pregnant, some already mothers of young babies, it was almost an overwhelming reminder of my past life of painful choices.

God was faithful to give me the words to share with these women encouraging them that He alone was enough for each of them as well as their children.  As we drove away that day in the bus, He reminded me like a moving picture in my head of all that had transpired during our week in Poland.  It took my willingness to go across the ocean to be reminded of how God had rescued me as a child, delivered me from addiction and was now revealing that He would also complete the good work he began in me in spite of divorce and single parenting.

How are you staying in step with your partner...your heavenly Father?  What stories do you have of walking with God and seeing Him reveal Himself to you. Who will you share them with. If you can't recall witnessing Him in your everyday life but know Him as Lord, then ask Him to open your eyes to how He is constantly at work all around you in your life...and then like the woman at the well....run and tell everyone.

The author's prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father,
     I want to be mature in my faith. Help me not to give attention to the trivial and troubling issues of my life. Please help me to honor you in my mind, by choosing to believe in your goodness and love for me, even in the midst of my stress. Teach me how to abide in your spirit and how to walk with you so that I may experience your joy each moment of my day. In Jesus' name I come. Amen.

1. Read 2 Corinthians 10:5. What does it mean to take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ? Are there any specific patterns of thought (fear, jealousy, irritation, impatience) that you struggle with? How does this rob your joy? What do you need to do to change that pattern?

2. We know that for Christians the fruit of the Spirit is joy (Galatians 5:22). If you are  a believer, and the Holy Spirit resides in you, what role does he play in producing the fruit of joy in your life? Is God at work to help you? How can you learn to hear more of his voice of encouragement and wisdom throughout your day?

3. Jesus said, "Do not let your heart be troubles; believe in God, believe also in me" (John 14:1). What regularly troubles your heart? What do you need to believe about God in order to move from being troubled to having his joy?

4. What would it take for you to begin practicing "joy checks"? Practice recognizing all the thoughts and feelings that lead you away from trusting God. Then choose to turn the eyes of your heart upon his goodness and trust in him.