Tuesday 23 November 2010

The Power of Dreaming

For as long as I can remember my Granddaddy had free fish fries at his home on the Tennessee River. Every Saturday before Labor Day he served catfish, french fries, homemade hushpuppies, and slaw for the community. We started feeding at noon and served as long as anyone came. Some years we fed over 500 people. The women brought drink and desserts. We also cooked hamburgers and hotdogs for those who did not like fish. Granddad always said this was his gift back to the community. There were items I struggled with...like why did the potatoes have to be washed, peeled, sliced and then fried? Why couldn't we just buy frozen french fries.  Why did the women have to start before dawn making meal for homemade hushpuppies?

During the winter we cooked chili..southwestern style with whole kernel corn. We would load everything up and drive up to gasoline alley. We set up shop in the back of the Exxon building. Granddaddy would start one of his burners up and cook that chili all day. People would come in all day to eat and fellowship....just for the fun of it.  Somebody always had something to say to the "Preacher".

I must have been inspired by Granddaddy because I have been dreaming up big ideas ever since. For years I hosted a creative arts day camp in my Grandfather's homestead here on the river. Since then we have moved to the local YMCA and ministered to kids in their summer program as well as their after school program.

Most recently I am privileged to direct a seven week outreach with the local YMCA to kick off the season of Advent, the coming of Christ. Our time together includes storytelling, music, dance, and games each week as we celebrate the real reason for that first Christmas.  On December 2nd, the kids will participate in One Wintry Night: A Christmas Story at a nearby church as we celebrate the results of "dreaming big". As I plan for the night's event I am thinking now about decorations for the food tables. We will feed the kids and their families a snack supper before the program. I want my grandmother's quilts on the table covered by plastic to protect them. I want large vases with burning bush and rosemary. At the bottom of the vases I want large magnolia branches maybe with some holly woven throughout. As I consider the detail of creating a particular scene and inviting all the senses of our guests, I better understand the extra mile Granddaddy went with the fried potatoes and the hushpuppies. When you are sharing Christ be it through a fish fry or Christmas program, nothing but the very best will do.

This past weekend I worked the 25th Annual BMW Brunch. It is an annual fundraiser for the Huntsville Hospital Foundation. As one of the speakers shared, I eagerly listened to her support of her own mother's dream some 25 years ago. The mom called to say, "I have this great idea. I want to serve a meal out of the mechanic's shop. The tables will be set up in the car showroom. People will buy tickets and the proceeds will go to the Foundation." Although it took a bit more to convince the daughter to come on board with the mom's vision, she soon saw the potential of the dream. Some twenty five years later, over 200 people each year buy the tickets and attend to help support a greater cause that serves those less fortunate than themselves.

Recently I became reacquainted, actually through this blog, with a childhood friend who is inspired to do ministry for women in the community where we both live. Her young adult daughter supports her dream. Interestingly enough, across the ocean in Berlin, where my oldest daughter Lawren attends a discipleship training school, God laid a similar vision on her heart. Lawren's vision included working with single mom's in the community where we live.  The desires that the Lord has placed on Lawren's heart dovetail with my existing MomHeart ministry. The paths the Father is crossing is nothing short of a miracle. It is with anticipation that we look forward to all He has in store for us as we press in together to what He is welling up within us for His glory.

One of Lawren's most recent comments included, "Mom, you told me if I wanted to do something, so long as it was honorable, then we would take it before the Lord and trust. I have been able to do amazing things because you believed God wanted those things for me. I want those girls to know they too do not have to be limited by their circumstances. " I cannot state how humbling it is that my daughter not only would want to spend time with me in ministry but also embrace the same vision I have for mothers across the globe.

The importance of dreaming can't be overstated. The word of God says, where there is no vision the people will perish. It makes no difference whether you are raising millions from your event to support a charitable cause or you are speaking life giving words into the heart of a child. When it is done in the power of Christ, lives are changed. What dreams do you have to impact the world for Christ? Who is believing in you and supporting your dreams? How can you get your kids to really think big and outside the typical box of daily activities? Happy dreaming! And please share some of them with me!

Friday 12 November 2010

Listening for the Music of God's Voice

Today we wrap up Dancing with My Father online book study. Although our weekly MomHeart group continues to meet on Fridays at the Heart of the Valley YMCA each week at 9 am. Childcare is available and our small group is open to moms with children of all ages. We currently have moms of preschoolers as well as moms who have already become grandmothers. So we have alot of wisdom in our group and love to spend time encouraging one another and supporting each other through the various seasons of life. Please message me here, via facebook or email if you are interested in learning more about MomHeart.

The button badge shown is promoting this year's MomHeart conferences. I have been a part of these conferences for the past twelve years. Next to my walk with the Lord, the messages of Sally Clarkson have most greatly impacted my parenting journey. I am strengthened in  my faith, encouraged, and inspired to greatness each year as I go and sit under her teaching.

I am inviting every mom who reads my blog to come with me to Raleigh in March. I have asked for the conference fee as a Christmas present for the last twelve years. Some of my greatest memories include  attending these events with like minded moms, staying up way too late, sharing our hearts, eating great food, crying and laughing together. I have traveled to Dallas, Raleigh (twice), Charlotte, Atlanta, Denver, Nashville,  and somewhere around the St. Louis area...can't remember the city...just the beautiful hotel we stayed in and the great time I had with a dear friend. The message each year from Sally has been just what my heart needed and prepared me for what the Father had in store for me to walk through. If you are interested in finding our more about these life changing conferences go to www.wholeheart.org

Most recently in August, I applied and was accepted to attend the first MomHeart Leader Intensive Training at Sally's home in Monument, Colorado. It was a weekend full of training, inspiration, great food and fellowship. I went into the weekend physically exhausted and still grief filled from my loss earlier that year. I was aware that I would most likely be the only single mom there. As overwhelming as my life circumstances were I stepped out in faith believing God had something for me...just no idea what. The MomHeart message had become part of my identity...because it is a Christ based message to moms. Yet, I was at a place where I was literally just putting one foot in front of the other. My joy had waned with the loss of my love. I could not feel anything at all.

As sole provider and caretaker for my kids I knew I was the one to get them up each morning...get them off to school..get them to practices, lessons, etc. I had been just going through the motions wondering if my joy would ever return.

I wasn't angry with God for taking my love and best friend...I just couldn't seem to get over being numb. So, that was the condition of my heart upon arrival in Colorado. Yet, I walked confidently in Christ that He had afforded me this privilege and He would be faithful to sustain me throughout the weekend. I was eager to hear from Him...specifically in how to grow the MomHeart group....reaching many other moms with the same wonderful messages that have inspired me for so many years.

There were many different things I learned through the course of the weekend regarding servant leadership, writing and more.  However, before I ever checked into my room that day I was asked the following question by young men videotaping for the weekend, "What book have you enjoyed reading the most with your kids?" Hands down, Ruth Graham's One Wintry Night came to mind.

At that point God began giving me an idea for outreach at our local YMCA with the after school care kids. The more I thought on the idea, the more ideas kept flooding in for a creative literary outreach to share the Christmas story with these kids from creation to ascension using One Wintry Night. God kept saying, "I want these kids to know that just like I planned for that first Christmas over 2000 years ago, I also planned for each of them. I want them to know they can be a part of HisStory.
It was the first idea I had received for ministry in over a year and a half. Having been filled with grief I had resolved that I might never get an idea for ministry again.

I am happy to say we are in week 5 of the seven week outreach. Our efforts will culminate with a Christmas program performed by the kids on Dec 2. Each week there is a team of us who meet at the Y and spend almost two hours together singing, dancing, and storytelling. The kids there have learned to identify God as protector, creator, promisekeeper, faithful, and deliverer thus far. We are having a blast.
I share this with you from this chapter entitled, "Listening to the Music of God's Voice" because this outreach came from Him. And I believe He gave me the idea because I was choosing to listen and seek Him in spite of my heartache. 

Jeremiah 29 says we will find Him when we seek Him with our whole heart. I have tried life in many ways without Christ only to repeatedly find myself come up empty handed and with an empty heart. So through my faith walk I have learned to guard my heart by only putting in what is beneficial to my well being...the word of God. Also, prayer...daily time alone just to be with God...to be still and wait for Him...And finally, the community of like minded people that I walk through life with.

By practicing these disciplines, the Father continues to meet with me and gives me great joy. I had resolved in my heart that if the Lord never returned my joy in the absence of my love then He would be enough. Although my heart was downtrodden, it was filled with the peace and love of Christ. Never in my wildest dreams would I imagine that He would not only restore my joy but also cast new vision and allow me to serve in such sweet ways...and have such a fun time doing it.
It has been my privilege to share part of my journey as we pressed through this book Dancing with My Father. My daughter Lawren introduced me to a new song which I love called Dance with Me. I have listened to it repeatedly and rejoice that I too have this love relationship with my heavenly father. It is my prayer for each of you as well.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=esW85eDJFv0&feature=&p=BA3EE477BD379BB1&index=0&playnext=1
Are you hearing from the Lord. Will you make time...even just a few minutes to be quiet before the Lord...to get away from the busyness of your day and let Him love on you...bless you....and inspire you to greatness. Will you surround yourself with like minded believers who support you and encourage you in your faith walk. May you enjoy the dance with your heavenly Father and  be blessed as you go about responding to His moves and His voice.

The author's prayer:

My precious Father,
     How grateful I am that you are my King, my Redeemer. Open the eyes of my heart so that I may see the bigger picture of history, of which I can play a part. Help me to know you as my lover,my caretaker, my friend, and my king. Show me how to dance in your reality every day. Give me eyes to see the truth of your kingdom and prepare me for the celebration of life with you, which will go on through all eternity. Sweet Lord, restore to me the joy of my salvation. I love you so much. In Jesus, my Prince's name, I come. Amen.

Monday 8 November 2010

Exchanging the Drudgery of Duty for the Dance

We live in a definite performance based society. Culturally, our value is measured by our output. Our success is defined by the world in regards to who has the most stuff or the latest and greatest things or who is the best known. Thankfully, this is NOT God's perspective.  I am learning more and more about God through my kids. In the beginning of my parenting journey, the verbage in my home consisted of a lot of "shoulds"...you should do this and you should do that. And my motive was one of pride and fear of embarrassment should my kids act out in any way...heaven forbid in public at least in front of others. Unfortunately, my two older girls have had to correct some wrong thinking about how God feels about them and what His desires are for them as a result of my skewed view of God.

Joshua defines success as this, "meditate on it (God's word) day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful". Joshua 1:8

King Solomon, the wisest person who ever lived wrote in Ecclesiastes chapter 12:


13All has been heard; the end of the matter is: Fear God [revere and worship Him, knowing that He is] and keep His commandments, for this is the whole of man [the full, original purpose of his creation, the object of God's providence, the root of character, the foundation of all happiness, the adjustment to all inharmonious circumstances and conditions under the sun] and the whole [duty] for every man.  (Amplified version)

Finally, in the New Testament, John the Baptist, a cousin to Christ, says, "I am not the Christ but am sent ahead of Him. The bride belongs to the bridegroom. The friend who attends the bridegroom waits and listens for him, and is full of joy when he hears the bridegroom's voice. That joy is mine and it is now complete." John 3:29

The point from all three passages is that the key to having joy and being joyful is Christ. We can have outgoing personalities which are friendly and optimistic and bounce around merrily for awhile but sooner or later the rubber will meet the road and life goes south due to some difficulty, tragedy, etc. It is then that the smile fades, tears form, our step becomes slower and outlook on life questionable. Only when our foundation is a life in Christ...we have trusted Him and are appropriating Christ life through us... will we be able continue living with joy in our hearts.

Most of us carry around alot of baggage in our hearts and lives from many sources. This baggage weighs us down, creates insecurities, and hinders us from receiving all that the Father has for us....life abundant. I know I have had to go back to my two oldest girls and confess. "I got this wrong...if I could do it again, here's what I would say." As I have grown up in seeing God truly for who He is through His word...not what other people are saying about Him, I have grown in grace and hopefully become a more gracious person. I am better equipped now in truth to extend God's love and grace to those around me, including my children, who fail each day. Now, rather than shaming them into behaving in a manner that is not embarrassing to me, I am able to ask questions to address their heart, discuss honor and consideration with them, and point them to Christ.

Because that is exactly what the Father does for me. He is not standing there with a pointed finger wagging it at me shaming me for failing once again. His arms are open...He welcomes me (Come to me)...He knows me (all you who are weary and burdened)....He gives me rest (and I will give you rest)..He gives Himself to me (take my yoke upon you)...He teaches me (and learn from me) He is gentle with me(for I am gentle and humble in heart)..Matthew 11:28-30

For today, be good to yourself. Don't beat yourself up for your failures or get caught up in basing your worth on performing for others.  Rather run to Christ who is waiting for you with open arms to wrap you in His love and grace, to strengthen you, to uphold you, and to give you great joy!

1. Read Psalm 103:13-14. According to this verse, is God aware of our fragility and limitations? Does he expect more from us than we can give? What kind of compassion do you think a good father would have for his children? In what ways have your tried to earn God's acceptance. Write down any failures or sins you have committed that you think God has held against you. Write across the paper, "Forgiven and loved" and then throw it away-as an act of accepting His love and grace.


2.Read Psalm 13:1-2. What are the things in your life that are "too great" that you have been trying to handle?What would it look like for you to give these areas over to God? How can you still and quiet your soul?

3.  What does it mean, "Unless you are converted and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven" (Matthew 18:3) How does a child exercise belief differently from an adult? Adults usually require proof before they will trust in anything. Does God want us to provide for our own needs or depend on him to provide? What would that look like in your life? How do you need to change your heart attitude in order to more fully enjoy God's Fatherhood?

4. Commit to simplifying  your life and seeking God with the innocent heart of a child, depending on him alone to accept you, just as you are.

The author's prayer:

Dear Precious Father,
     Help me to truly understand and know your compassionate love for me. Help me to quiet my heart and lean against you as a small baby leans against her mother. Please open my eyes to your priorities, and give me eyes in my heart to see you and enjoy each day. I do love you! In Jesus' name, amen.

Saturday 30 October 2010

Chapter 8: Hearing the Refrain of Heaven

"On occasion, God lovingly wraps stories of eternity into the circumstances of my life, stories that seem to say, "I was here today." When I read the first words of chapter 8, I immediately knew what I was to share.....but still procrastinated...wanting to postpone once again entering into a painful place.

This has been a difficult week. I have heard, "it's the moon, it's the weather, Mars and Venus are in retrograde, it's bad karma . I just know it's been hard. On a personal level, I have called it a "week of Mondays".  Wednesday was the seven month mark of losing the man I loved. Some days it seems like an eternity since he's been gone and other times it seems like yesterday.  But physiologically every month around the 27th, my body goes into a mode of sorrow/loss/remembrance.

I have come to believe that there are times that the Father says I am going to take these two people at this particular time and put them together. Because their being together is the best way for them to know me better and glorify me through their lives. I did not know that at the time of the relationship. All I knew is something spiritual was going on that I had never experienced before in my life in the context of a relationship.

The anticipation on the weekly drive up was incredible. Literally time seemed to fly by as I made that  trip from Huntsville to Nashville. It became the norm for us to talk many times by cell phone even during the ride up. He never hid how excited he was that I was coming to visit.  We would spend the day together and then I would drive back home from Nashville. I would have the ride home to process our enjoyable time together. Our day together would roll through my mind like a moving picture...endearing comments, words of encouragement, silly, fun times shared, etc. It was always just enough to fill up my love tank to keep me going until our next time together.

It was on one of those many trips home, the Lord reminded me that my earthly relationship was a picture of my relationship with my heavenly father. The Father reminded me that He wanted me to run to Him with anticipation of getting to know Him better, spend long periods of time with him. Then when that time alone was over He wanted me to think on all the things he had taught me while together.  Finally, that shared experience with my heavenly Father would increase my faithwalk in such a way that it would carry me until our next time when we could be alone again.

During the relationship, there were numerous pictures God gave me along the way and many more after I lost my best friend and the person I had grown to love. I was reminded that Paul wrote throughout the New Testament painting a picture of a healthy relationship between a man and woman; one which mirrored Christ love for His bride: the church. In the manner that Christ gave himself up for us, so we also are to sacrificially love and serve our mates. God afforded us the privilege on earth to enter relationally with others to bring honor and glory to Him.

I truly did not know a love like that existed here on earth. Until I had this shared experience I somehow thought, since we live in a fallen world, we just "settle" here on earth for certain norms:  does he have a decent job, what type of family does he come from, etc. What I found to be true though, as I journeyed through, this incredible experience, is that the Father wants to "wow" us. He is indescribably crazily in love with each of us...after all He made us....in His image. More than anything He wants us to know Him....His goodness and love....all of His nature and character. He will go to extreme lengths to reveal Himself to us because He has our best interest at heart and is "for" us. He knows we will be most satisfied as we walk through life depending on Him.

One day I hope to write a book expounding on the relationship principles God taught me through the brief love experience I had here on earth with a man. I found our time together and all that I gleaned to become a "plumbline" of sorts for earthly relationships with men. Amos, a minor prophet from the Old Testament described God's relationship with Israel as a plumbline...a measure of sorts for what His standard of righteousness looks like. God dealt with Israel throughout scripture in a way that was a marked difference from other nations so that we would know what a life of righteousness looks like. Then in the New Testament, we are presented with the life of Christ as the model.

This earthly relationship became a "plumbline" for me. I realized that my own ideals about relationships were skewed. God loved me enough to give me someone with skin on to paint a picture of what Christ really wants for his children, in regards to intimate relationships,  here on earth. What I learned during our short time together became the relationship standard for which I will wait should the Father choose to bless me again with the privilege of loving in this way this side of heaven.

A final picture to end this piece is the picture of servanthood. God made us to love and serve. I believe in a love relationship each partner is constantly trying to "out do" the other.  Each person is constantly thinking of the other individual's needs and how they can minister most to them.  During the last week of my dear one's life we talked daily on the phone. I knew he was ill but had no indication that his life would end. I had visited the previous Sunday and planned to be back on Saturday. On Thursday, just two days before his time here on earth ended, I received a morning text that said "I hope you have the most inspiring day ever." Servanthood never ends.  When the Father decides to take me home, may it be said, "She served others right up until the very end".

My challenge to each of you this week is to consider your relationships...whether it be intimate or friendship or both...is servanthood present, is this a person you "can't wait" to be with, is the standard of measurement in your relationship a view or picture of how Christ feels about you. If you cannot answer yes to all then ask the Father to give you a clear picture of what He wants for you and a willing heart to serve and love.

1. Read Hebrews 12: 2-3. What does it mean to consider him, so that we may not grow weary and lose heart? What is the joy set before you? Is it necessarily wrong to grieve and feel sorrow in this life?

2. Read Isaiah 53:3-4. How do you think Jesus feels toward us since he bore our sorrows and carried our grief? If he felt the pain that you feel in your deepest pain, do you think he understands you and is ready to comfort you?

Jesus is our companion in the most difficult place of our lives because he willingly bore our sorrows and carried our grief. He entered into our pain. In prayer, tell Jesus what is difficult for you and ask him to meet you at your point of need.

3. Read Revelation 21:4-5. What does this passage say there will be no more of? What hope does this give to us in our present sufferings? If you really believed what this verse says, how could that provide you joy now? What ways are you counting on this world to be the place where you will get ultimate happiness? When does the Bible say our lives will be painless? How should that change the way we live right now?

The author's prayer:

Dear precious Lord,

    Help me to remember that my greatest joy is ahead--being in eternity in the presence of my King, in a place you have prepared for me. Give me strength to endure the crosses before me, even in the pain, for what I can see in the eyes of the Lord lies ahead. Help me to yield all of my present sorrows to you in order to be freer in this life. Please help me to have this perspective of Jesus--for the joy set before me. Thank you for entering into my sorrows and for loving me. I love you. Amen.

Friday 22 October 2010

Chapter 7: Joy Is Made Full When It Is Shared

I really don't know what I would do without my friends. My mom says I have the greatest friends in the world and I believe it. I have spent years of my life in and out of counseling to deal with various life issues only to find myself back now with a wonderful Godly woman to help me process my grief over losing the man I loved. Yet, once I remember a counselor saying it's hard to have more than 5 really close friends at a time, as he held up his hand showing the five fingers. He said, "If you can count this many close friends consider yourself blessed. Anymore than five then the relationships become superficial...rather than transparent.  My deepest friendships have remained between three and four and have changed periodically throughout my life.

A while back I blogged on "community". I began an ongoing series on  biblical community.  How does that look to us? As I mentioned in that post, God has never been alone. In Genesis at creation, the Father, son, and spirit were all present. It is a picture for us as we journey through life, that we as well are not to be alone. God is relational as He relates to His son, His spirit and as He relates to us. Likewise, He has made us relational.

If we have embraced God's presence in our lives and are walking hand in hand with Him, we are able to recognize the gift of friendships He has afforded us.  These are the friendships that unconditionally love and accept you no matter how ugly you can get.  These are the friendships that don't think any less of you when you vent out of frustration, fear, or insecurity.  Furthermore, they are the friends who listen, offer empathy, walk alongside you, and encourage you. They often exhort you but not before they sympathize. These relationships  are strengthened by shared struggles and somehow these friends always know just the right words or kind act to minister to me.  It's the friendships that regardless of how long circumstances keep us apart, we pick right back up as though we were together yesterday.

When you spend enough time with a person, ask enough questions, and ponder or reflect on the deep things of life, you get to know the person's heart. In deep friendships we hope to discover that, like God, the other person is "for us"...they have our best interest at heart...they are our biggest cheerleader...our number one fan and they are "good" all the time to us...Furthermore, it is their desire to see us succeed in whatever passions the Father is welling up within us...they rally around us to support us, offering either words of encouragement, practical helps, spiritual advice, or prayer support.
You find that when you are with one another there is an energy that calls you to something great.

Recently at a conference in Denver, a speaker said she tried to look for relationships that when she left the person, she either loved God more or knew Him better. What a challenge to each of us! To move beyond the superficial lifestyle and really come alongside another person to journey through life with...the the good times and the bad. Isn't that what Christ would do. He never looked for the easy people to love. He even went out of His way to hang out with sinners. He often turned the other way or had a strong word for the Pharisees. He came for the hurting. When our friends are hurting they need to see the love of Christ. It can get messy and uncomfortable when we commit to go deep but I believe the Father is glorified when we are the hands and feet of Christ to those who are hurting.

It is with great joy that I celebrate the significant friendships the Father has offered me. Each one increases my joy as life is celebrated in the day to day lives we lead whether it be at work, in ministry,  or having coffee at a nearby cafe.

Finally I conclude with the aspect of "value". God valued me enough to die. The creator of heaven and earth thought highly enough of Pam to stretch out his arms and surrender to the will of His father God. That sacrificial life-love offering wells up and spills out of my friendships. When one becomes aware of their value in God's eyes, the joy cannot be contained...it pours over into all your relationships....placing value on each person you contact.

Society or culture often sends the message that it is weak to admit your struggles....that it is a sign of weakness to admit  you are struggling or need help or don't have all the answers. People find themselves isolating and end up bitter, alone, and resentful missing out on the shared blessings of walking in community.  The enemy wants us to feel alone, devalued and unappreciated. Staying in those negative mindsets keep us from being Christ to others and sharing the joy of the Lord through the blessing of friendship...biblical community.

What friendships are you cultivating? If you are isolating, would you ask the Lord who He would have you reach out to? When we belong to Christ, we are called to love and serve regardless of who is ministering to us...it is not about us waiting to get our needs met then reaching out to someone. Furthermore, it is in the midst of our own struggles continuing to think of others..taking the focus off of own self centeredness and focusing on the needs of those around us. I promise...it will bring joy. I hope you will write and tell me about it.

The author's prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father,
     It is often so hard for me to love some of those whom you have placed in my life, especially when I feel that I am giving of myself more than they are giving to me.  Help me to learn to practice love as Jesus showed me his love. Restore to me the joy that comes from extending your love to others. Thank you for always loving me, no matter what. I really want to abide always in your everlasting love. I love you. Amen.

1. Read John 15:12. How has Jesus loved you? How does that mean you should love others? Is there any relationship in your life which you have not loved the person as Christ has commanded? What can you do to make that relationship right?

2. Read 1 Peter 2:23. If we follow the the model of Christ, what should we do when we find ourselves in an "unfair" relationship, in which we are rejected or harshly treated? Are there any relationships in which you need to follow his example? How can you find joy in those situations?

3. Read Proverbs 17:22. In relationships how can you cultivate a "joyful" heart?Is there anything broken in your spirit? How does loving others and serving them for the sake of the God who serves and loves you, bring healing to your whole body and heart. What steps do you need to take to serve more, give more, and love more practically in order to move into the area of a joyful heart?

4.Commit to practice the following: "I will resolve to love others with the sacrificial love with which I have been loved by God. I will seek to trust him to show his love through me by practicing being a servant and lover of all those he has placed in my arena of life."

Friday 15 October 2010

Chapter 6: Staying in step with your partner

 I put off writing or reading this chapter until the last minute. My thoughts were, "well, that's not going to be much fun...reading about being in step with your husband/partner when I don't have one." So, I simply procrastinated. The Lord gently reminded me as I read, that He is my dance partner. I am his beloved.

Even in a marriage, the choreography of life is led by the couple's heavenly father, when their eyes are upon the Lord. Walking through life with or without a significant other can be very frustrating when we don't seek God in and through the various trials we encounter each day or look for Him in the variety of opportunities presented before us each day.

There was an old praise and worship song called "Sometimes by Step" which we used to sing. Some of the lyrics were:
                                                  "Oh God, you are my God
                                                     and I will ever praise you.
                                                    I will seek you in the morning
                                              And I will learn to walk in your ways
                                                 And step by step you'll lead me
                                             And I will follow you all of my days."

Proverbs 3:5-6 says, "Trust in the Lord always. Lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths." When we make God the center of our lives....seeking to know him  and depend on him for our needs....all of them...big and small, the circumstances of life seem less overwhelming.

Several years ago the Lord placed a desire in my heart along with my oldest daughter Lawren to go to Poland on a mission trip. Prior to our eight days over there, I had no idea why it was Poland. God was working all over the world but I pressed in. My Aunt Peg, my dad's only sister,  was to travel with us, since her bone cancer had responded favorable to the stem cell replacement. So the three us of began raising our support for the trip. It was a substantial amount of money for the three of us to take the trip.

 One day while talking to a dear, practical friend, she said, "Well, maybe either Lawren or you shouldn't go so then you are only raising for two....or maybe you should can your beach trip with your mom and use that money for the trip." I really didn't like what she suggested but promised to consider it. When I got off the phone I talked with the Lord. I said, "Lord, I want to go to Poland and I think you want me to go to Poland. But if you don't, I don't want to be any place where you are not right in the center of my activities, so please make it clear. But I believe my friend needs to see you in a new way. Would you please do something for her that would leave no room for her to consider it being anything but from you.

The following Sunday, we put a $200 check in the offering plate towards our trip which had been contributed by a friend and supporter over the weekend. On Monday I received a call from the church secretary to give us a report on contributions. The $200 check was all I was expecting to hear. But to my surprise, four other contributions had come in...one of the four from someone I had not seen in years and another from someone who had not even received a support letter. The total of the four contributions was enough alone for one of us three to make the trip...I am not kidding. As I sat there with my mouth gaping open, I knew the Lord was sending us but also showed up for my friend in a very big way. I couldn't wait to call her with the news.

Our trip ended up being delayed eight months which sadly found Aunt Peg in a declined state of health. The cancer had returned and was not responding to the medicine. Although her faith carried her, she was sorely disappointed in not making the trip. Aunt Peg had made every preparatory team meeting...had bonded with the team...had journaled as she prepared to go...and even shared with me about a song called "Ready" she was recording in her journal.  She sang a few lyrics to me to help me remember, which at the moment brought no memory to mind.

Aunt Peg was admitted to the hospital on Sunday a day after we returned  from Poland. She passed away later that week. Her presence in our lives is still a huge loss but the imprint she left inspires us to greatness still. Never marrying, Aunt Peg had literally treated both my brother and me as her own children and provided opportunities for us that  were difficult for my mom....as a single parent. After my parents divorced she remained an active part of our lives until the day she drew her last breath. She never let the circumstances of life...including divorce...keep her from ministering to us...even regularly thinking of and caring for my mom...always remembering her with something special.

As we planned the memorial service, I was to give a short talk. I recalled the song "Ready" and searched out the lyrics looking for the words to share in the midst of such great loss. I could barely believe the words of the song when I found them.
                               Ready to suffer grief and pain, Ready to stand the test;
                                Ready to stay at home and send Others, if He sees best.
                                       Ready to go, ready to stay, Ready  my place to fill;
                                 Ready for service, lowly or great, Ready to do His will.
The Father already knew Aunt Peg wouldn't make that trip to Poland with us. He was preparing her even when she didn't know it.

During those eight days in Poland, the Lord took me back to my childhood, apartment neighborhoods I had grown up in, a product of a divorced home, riding the bus to church, just hardship...I saw the pain in the eyes of the kids that were bussed in to hear us talk about God, through a translator....many of which had no restroom in their home...and weren't sure where there next meal was coming from.

By the end of the week I had seen enough but the Lord wasn't finished showing Himself to me....our last venture was to a Red Cross Women's home for single mom's specifically many who were recovering from alcohol and drug addiciton. I had been asked to share my testimony not knowing anything other than what I have shared thus far.  When I crossed the threshhold of the door, it was as though I was back in time to entering a transitional living home in Lafayette, LA after a 28 day treatment program for alcohol and drug addiction back in 1988. I had a knot in my stomach that would not go away. As I looked into the eyes of these women...some pregnant, some already mothers of young babies, it was almost an overwhelming reminder of my past life of painful choices.

God was faithful to give me the words to share with these women encouraging them that He alone was enough for each of them as well as their children.  As we drove away that day in the bus, He reminded me like a moving picture in my head of all that had transpired during our week in Poland.  It took my willingness to go across the ocean to be reminded of how God had rescued me as a child, delivered me from addiction and was now revealing that He would also complete the good work he began in me in spite of divorce and single parenting.

How are you staying in step with your partner...your heavenly Father?  What stories do you have of walking with God and seeing Him reveal Himself to you. Who will you share them with. If you can't recall witnessing Him in your everyday life but know Him as Lord, then ask Him to open your eyes to how He is constantly at work all around you in your life...and then like the woman at the well....run and tell everyone.

The author's prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father,
     I want to be mature in my faith. Help me not to give attention to the trivial and troubling issues of my life. Please help me to honor you in my mind, by choosing to believe in your goodness and love for me, even in the midst of my stress. Teach me how to abide in your spirit and how to walk with you so that I may experience your joy each moment of my day. In Jesus' name I come. Amen.

1. Read 2 Corinthians 10:5. What does it mean to take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ? Are there any specific patterns of thought (fear, jealousy, irritation, impatience) that you struggle with? How does this rob your joy? What do you need to do to change that pattern?

2. We know that for Christians the fruit of the Spirit is joy (Galatians 5:22). If you are  a believer, and the Holy Spirit resides in you, what role does he play in producing the fruit of joy in your life? Is God at work to help you? How can you learn to hear more of his voice of encouragement and wisdom throughout your day?

3. Jesus said, "Do not let your heart be troubles; believe in God, believe also in me" (John 14:1). What regularly troubles your heart? What do you need to believe about God in order to move from being troubled to having his joy?

4. What would it take for you to begin practicing "joy checks"? Practice recognizing all the thoughts and feelings that lead you away from trusting God. Then choose to turn the eyes of your heart upon his goodness and trust in him.

Friday 8 October 2010

Chapter 5: Reveling in God's Melody of Joy

Once at a staff retreat, someone asks us to name three simple pleasures. They couldn't cost any money. It was some simple moment in life that brought us joy.  It's interesting I can only remember a couple of the other folks: clean sheets, a good cup of coffee..But I can still name mine. As I prepared to write today, I thought back to that time and quickly recalled these three simple pleasures: First, I love crossing the bridge to come home. We live on the Tennessee River. So, often a drive home  means capturing an incredible sunset, or the activity of watercraft be it recreational boaters over the weekend or a big barge headed to or from Decatur. Not only do I witness the majesty of God through His creation but also crossing the bridge means I am two minutes from HOME...my favorite place to be. There is something life giving about the river. I love the verse from John 7:38 that says, " Whoever believes in me, as the scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him."

My second simple pleasure is....to wash my face each night before I go to bed. There is something about washing away all the busyness of the day, maybe worries or concerns that comes from splashing cold water on your face. I am sure one reason why it is a simple pleasure is I know the day is almost over and I am about to crawl into a warm bed to enjoy a peaceful night of slumber..usually next to my little Hannah Rose.

Finally, my third simple pleasure is carrying in a 40 pound bag of dog food. I still can't believe God made me healthy and strong enough to hoist that bag up onto my shoulder and walk from the van, up the steps, into the laundry room. But it is a great feeling. Last night, John Jay, my almost twelve year old son,  insisted on carrying the bag. I almost argued until I realized what a step of maturity this was for him. I could have robbed him of a potential simple pleasure had I not relented. Looks like I might have to find a new pleasure to replace this one.

Point being that these three simple pleasures are moments of joy for me as I celebrate the life God has given me. There are moments each day, if I choose, where I can see His hand whether it be through the hands that are daily chopping and cooking at work or a kind word or smile shared from someone. Yesterday, a sweet customer at worked, handed me a bandaid as she left saying, "I noticed your hand was cut."

I believe the more we come to know about God, the more free we are to enjoy all that He has provided for us. As our relationship with Him deepens, we are freed up from any misconceptions or wrong thinking that have been forced upon us by generational deception, or cultural shifts. If our parents had trouble enjoying the simple pleasures of life, then we might struggle. Culturally, we shift from home to work to a plethora of evening activities...Heaven help us if kids are going in opposite directions to opposite activities. It would be easy to miss the goodness and creativity of God if our minds were focused on anything other than enjoying each ride, job, activity, etc the Lord has before us.

The first chapter of Romans tells us that God has been revealing Himself to us since the beginning of creation..His invisible attributes, His eternal power and divine nature have been clearly seen, being understood through what has been made."

We can see His creativity, His order and His design all around us. Furthermore, as we live a life in Christ, getting to know our heavenly father and becoming more life him (being conformed to his image Romans 8:29 and 30), we too can enjoy a life of creativity, order and design.

The most wonderful aspect is the originality of each of us belonging to him. What is beautiful to each of us varies based on each of our unique personalities. As we better to get to know our Lord, His beauty and design and creativity manifests itself individually through each of our unique personalities.  So, we can walk confidently in our passions as we celebrate others as well. This is big....because the tendency often as women, is we want to compare ourselves and our stuff and our creativity etc...to others. When, in reality, each of us has been literally handprinted individually by the hand of God for His beauty to be made manifest in and through each of our lives in unique and individual ways.

What are your three simple pleasures and how is the beauty of God being made manifest through your life. If your life has been programmed by outside voices and or culture, begin today embracing the unique beauty of God through you. Ask the Father to show you what you like and what brings you joy. Because if it is from Him, it will not only bring you joy but joy as well to all around you.

The author's prayer:

Dear God, the Artist and Creator of all that is beautiful in the universe,

     Thank you for making creation so beautiful.  Please open my eyes and my heart to  observe the lessons you would teach me about yourself through nature. Let me be like a child and look with delight at the design, beauty, and elements of nature. Thank you for making my world a place where you intended me to experience pleasure, delight, fun, and deep satisfaction.  Help me to understand that apart from finding  you as a source of that satisfaction, I will not truly experience lasting joy.  Help me to order my life so that I may better experience peace and comfort from being in your creation, amidst the beauty you prepared for me to enjoy.

Questions to consider:

1.  Read Psalm 19:1. What are the heavens telling us about God. When was the last time you went outside at night to observe and enjoy the stars in the sky and let your soul fill with awe? How, specifically, can you incorporate more time in your schedule to be in nature and let it speak to your soul?

2.  Read Psalm 16:11. What brings pleasure to your life? Do you think God wants you to experience pleasure? On what do you base that knowledge? Are there any ways in which you need to change your opinion about the importance of enjoying life more so that you can feel closer to God?

3.  When Job cried out to God and didn't understand why he was suffering so much, God answered by telling him about the beginning of creation when the angels shouted for joy. What was God trying to say to Job?

4. In what ways does your work and life separate you from nature? If Romans 1 tells us that "what God made" gives evidence to his existence, then how important is it to our lives to be sure we place ourselves in the midst of nature, to feel and know his reality?

Friday 1 October 2010

Week 4: Dancing Through the Twists and Turns of Life

Were it up to me,  the choreography of my life would be quite different than it has actually played out.  There are seasons of my life, if I could find a way out of or hurt less, I most certainly would.  The book of  James  says, "Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." (James 1:2-4)

In light of this passage and now the experience of my life's trials, I can see how my faith deepened and my relationship with my heavenly father was strengthened through each trial encountered.  There was a time in my life where I walked through life not thinking of ever marrying or having children. My main goal was to graduate college, climb the corporate ladder, and become a successful business woman.

Needless to say I was caught off guard when I found myself expecting a baby right out of college. Within two years I became married and a stay at home mom. Within ten years there were four more children. Furthermore, I NEVER planned to home school....thought that was weird. (See my original post titled,"How I got to this place"). Yet, God had a different plan than me. Our home has been filled with at least one homeschooler for the last thirteen years.

As I slowly let go of my dreams and took God's hand to direct me, many days I encountered various trials in spite of following God. Homeschooling five kids and marriage alone are normal trials....but add the onset of strained finances, losing someone you love to cancer, divorce, kids with emotional holes in their hearts from the physical absence of a parent, working as a single mom, etc

I actually believe the trials in life can often be classified as suffering.  Were it up to me I would choreograph a different life dance for me and my kids...one without pain and suffering. Yet, now I see, on the other side of the pain, how God grew my kids and myself, purifying us from our own best plans, molding us and shaping us into something beautiful....something fit for a king.

Many people bail when the rubber meets the road. When the pain hits, they reach for a quick pain reliever. I learned to ask, "Father, what is it you want me to know in this difficult situation?"

I believe suffering via trials in life come for two reasons: One, to cause us to depend on the Father for EVERYTHING. God has our best interest at heart and knows we can enjoy life the most when we are fully submitted to Him and living out the passions He has placed within us. As we depend on God and live a life in Christ, His character flows from us bringing joy to us and others EVEN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE TRIAL.

The second reason I believe God affords us trials in life is to conform us to the image of Christ. Romans 8:28 says "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love the Lord and are called according to his purpose. Furthermore in verse 29, God says.."For those God predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son...."

As we walk through the various trials of life, destined to happen living in a less than perfect world, holding God's hand, we can have joy.  Psalm 16:11 says, "You will make known to me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy; in Your right hand are pleasures forevermore."

What trials are you walking through?...Are you depending on God...allowing Him to strengthen you as you walk through a difficult situation? How are you responding to your trial....with joy? Or is it a knee jerk reaction that is hurting those around you or a quick relief to your pain?

The author's prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father,

    You are a good father and committed to excellence in my life. Open my eyes that I may see what is really taking place in my heart. Help me to be committed to the long-term pathway of facing my tests and trials with strength and the knowledge that it is in my everyday where greatness of soul is being shaped. Help me to learn to accept with joy the life you have given to me. I love you, Lord. In Jesus' name I come.

Thank you for posting comments. It is with great joy they are received. I say that with the deepest sincerity. For the Father to use me in any way to be an encouragement to you, is great great joy.

Questions to consider this week:

Read James 1:2-3. List the trials that you are experiencing right now. How does God want you to pass the test of these particular trials? What attitude do you need to change or cultivate?

2. Read Psalm 103:8. Do you picture God, as David, even in the midst of your trials? How do you need to change your perception of Him in order to receive his compassion, grace, and generous  lovingkindness.

3. Read 2 Timothy 3:1-3. How does this verse apply to our culture? How does culture with its messages distract us from God's ways for us, to work hard and to endure with grace in order to develop character? What do you need to do to embrace God's ways so that you will find joy as you "dance these steps with him?"

Friday 24 September 2010

Letting Go to Take God's Hand

 In chapter three of Dancing with my Father, the author discusses letting go of ideals, dreams, etc. we hold onto in order to take God's hand. What makes it interesting is that the idea of "Letting go" follows chapter 2's topic of celebrating God's presence. I believe there is a reason for the order. Without the presence of God in our lives, it would be impossible to let go of some things the Father asks us of us.

On Tuesday we put Lawren on the plane to leave for six months for Berlin. As I sat at the airport I recalled bringing Lawren home from Kansas through the same airport some eighteen years earlier. The memory of watching her walk through security and head back to her gate still brings tears to my eyes this morning.

Letting go requires trusting. Letting go for me says, "God, I know you are for me. I know you are our protector and I know you love  my kids more than I ever could."Furthermore, letting go declares my belief that nothing can come into our lives that doesn't first sift through the hands of God." Knowing that Lawren walks in these truths as well, spread some comfort in the pain of her absence.

Why is letting go so hard? I believe we live in a society that says "Be all you can be...you can do anything you want....the sky is the limit....but rarely is God included in these ideals. We go to school and maybe onto college, we start a career, maybe a family, and look outward for what makes success.  We look for tangible evidence of our identity...a paycheck, organizations we belong to, social recognition, awards we receive,etc. When actually, God is much more interested in our heart.

We want these nice little lives...cookie cutter..where all our houses look the same or we compete for who has the best this or that...we want these highly intelligent kids who make it better than your neighbor's kids do....we want the best houses, the best cars, and fifty yard line tickets to every home game for the Tide or the Tigers. Oh, and Lord don't make us suffer any...that's ugly.


But those dreams are futile. They don't impress God. He loves us through our pettiness and affords opportunities for us to let go of our petty dreams, which we thought so grand, and grab hold of the Almighty God's dreams. They are dreams we often can't see immediately, which require an act of faith on our part. But holding God's hand as we let go of all we hold onto vertically in this world speaks volumes to those around us.  Trusting God for the dance of life says, I really don't know where all this is going, but I know it's going to be good.

I believe there are times that the Lord allows some angst to transpire where we question our beliefs about life....maybe a hardship in marriage, problems with our kids, loss of a job, etc. The suffering forces us to reach down deep in our soul to answer the problems we face day to day in a less than perfect world. When things don't go down as we planned or dreamed there is great disappointment and often discouragement.

Many people take the quickest, fastest way to ease their pain....they file for divorce, lash out at their kids, blame their boss, etc. However, the reality is often, when you belong to God, He is pressing in wanting us to let go of our dreams in order to see a bigger and better plan He has for us.


It is a day to day and often moment to moment process for me. I battle taking the reigns back to control all I can in my little corner of the world. But He is gentle with me as He reminds me, "Daughter, I got this one. This one is a little too big for you. Take my hand. I will lead. I love you."

May I never get over how in love the Father is with me in spite of how often I run ahead or forget to take his hand.  I would love to hear from any of you studying with us online through your posts as to how God is teaching you.

The author's prayer,

Dear Heavenly Father,

I thank you that you have my best in mind when you direct my life in the difficult places.  Open the eyes of my heart that I may see your love in the midst of my suffering. Help me to see clearly the blessings that you have brought from these lessons in the past.  I want to relinquish all the earthly things I have been depending on for joy, and ask you to fill me with the joy that comes from holding your hand and knowing you are with me every step of my life. In Jesus name I come to you. Amen.

Chapter 3 Questions:
1.Read Matthew 6:19-21...What are the treasures on earth that you have looked to for happiness or fulfillment? What do you think the treasures of heaven are?How do you look for these treasures.

2. Read Matthew 6:33...What does it mean practically, and in your heart, to seek first the kingdom of God? Name five ways that God wants you to do this.

3. Read Hebrews 12:10..In what areas has God disciplined you? How is he disciplining you now? What does God promise will be the result of your submission to his discipline? (See Hebrews 12:11 for help)

Saturday 18 September 2010

"First Supper Send Off"

Last night was the first of a series of celebrations to send Lawren, my oldest daughter,  off to Berlin,  Germany on Tuesday.  During a mission trip to Katawice, Poland several years ago, the Lord began stirring her heart for Europe.  There is no other way to explain a lot about Lawren than to say her heart turned toward all that God was doing in Europe a long time ago. She drives a Jetta, dresses different than anyone else in the family, skypes regularly with missionary friends in Poland, and has been pursuing Europe for three years literally counting the days til graduation.

So, as the time nears we all are celebrating and blessing Lawren as she embarks on this new journey and enters into this new season of life.

When I first began planning last night's dinner, I considered calling it a "Last Supper" as Jesus had with his disciples just before the cross. The night Jesus washed their feet teaching them to love and serve others. But I thought that sounded quite morbid. However, as I pondered that last supper I realized that supper in history is actually why we were celebrating last night with Lawren.

Had Jesus not instructed his disciples to "wash one another's feet" and gone on to experience death on the cross then Lawren would have no heartfelt purpose for going and serving those unknown to her. It is the realization of all that Christ has done for us that propels each of us to greatness through loving and serving those around us...near and afar. Christ came to save all....those near and far.

Never again in scripture do we see a foot washing. In bible times, sandals were worn and there were no roads. So feet were filthy from hours and hours of walking. Jesus washing the disciples feet (only recorded in John) was a picture of how far one should go to practice servant leadership. There is no task too dirty or small for our Lord and neither is there for us who belong to him.

Not only did they have a foot washing at the Last Supper but they took the Lord's supper as well. Of course the disciples did not understand what they were doing because Jesus was yet to die. But Christ took the bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them, saying, "This is my body given for you; do this in remembrance of me." In the same way, after the supper he took the cup, saying, "This cup is the new covenant in my blood, which is poured out for you."

Realizing what Christ has done for myself as well as my family, we celebrated with the Lord's supper last night, praying over Lawren and blessing her. Our little group was small but that group with Christ was small. Yet, what happened that night followed quickly by the death, burial, and resurrection of Christ catapulted Christianity with the birth of the church... Christ followers.

As a momma, it is with joy that I bless Lawren's journey and challenge each of you...

What is the event of the cross propelling each of you to do...who is the Father calling you to love and serve. How far is He asking you to go....how small or great a task, or how dirty a job does he have before you.

Friday 17 September 2010

A Heart that Dances to Celebrate God's Presence

My oldest daughter leaves in five days for Berlin, Germany for six months. Lawren will be attending a discipleship training school with YWAM: Youth With A Mission. This adventure has been on her heart for the last three years and is finally coming to be.

It is with great joy that these final days together are days of celebration. Tomorrow night is a "First Supper Send Off" here in our home for those who have influenced Lawren  in her decision to go and make disciples in all nations (Matthew28:19). Saturday night is our family gathering to  celebrate Lawren's venture. Finally, Sunday, we end with a come and go after church here at the river for people to wish her well, give her one last hug for a while, and enjoy food and fellowship.


If I did not know my heavenly Father was omnipresent: present everywhere all the time I can't imagine feeling joyful about Lawren leaving. Just last week we talked about the presence of sin all around us in a less than perfect world. Sending your first born off without momma is not something easily done in the natural realm. But the realization that God loves her more than I ever could and promises to never leave her or forsake her (Hebrews 13:5) eases my soul. And the delight that she has heard from God and is trusting Him in this huge way at such an early age is actually enough to make a momma dance.

Today I worked all day, left to make two deliveries, squeezed in a record's check for my high school daughter who still home schools, returned to work, then loaded and left for a catering job. When done, I stopped for groceries, came home, and got the kids to bed who were still up. I woke up around 1:30 am and began prepping the food for tonight's dinner. Hopefully, pictures will be forthcoming. Anyway, I worked on the food until now 4:18 am. The only downfall was I couldn't turn the music on because all the kids were asleep but I still felt like dancing.

I don't include you in the busyness of my life to impress you or to pump myself up but to encourage you that the Father brings great joy when our hearts are turned to Him and in His presence is fullness of joy.(Psalm 16:11)

As David experienced a miracle in the fight with the giant Goliath, we too experience miracles in the presence of God. David came to the fight against the giant  with only a slingshot and five smooth stones. Likewise, we come to battle, whatever the battle is, tired, discouraged, frustrated, overworked, underpaid, under appreciated, etc. But the battle is the Lords, as was David's. David needed a miracle. He was outnumbered and  outsized. We need a miracle. As moms there is more work than possible to complete in a day...lives to change, diapers to change, spills to pick up, children and friends that are depending on us to inspire them to greatness. A friend once said, "To experience a miracle, one must live in a place of "need".

"Blessed are the poor in spirit because theirs is the kingdom of heaven" (Matthew 5:3) "Poor in spirit" indicates we are in need and that we are. We are desperately in need of a savior, a rescuer. Last week in class, I mentioned James Dobson's book Emotions Can You Trust Them. I told the group that Dobson's basically spends 300+ pages and answers this question with a resounding "NO". Likewise, our study, Dancing with the Father, in a nutshell will point to one way to have joy....a vertical relationship with your heavenly father. If there is a problem with your relationship with God....don't expect joy. You will look horizontally to your kids, your husband, your work, your relationships, your social status, etc to bring you joy only to end up empty handed or temporarily happy.....a big difference from joy.

But hang on. Through the course of the book, we will unpack specifics of helping us to remain focused upward while enjoying all the Father has for us outward. So whether you are wrestling with toddlers or sending off your first born, may you have fullness of joy in His presence.

The author's prayer:

"Dear Heavenly Father,

I long to live freely in your joy. I want to love you with all my heart, for all the days of my life. Please meet me at my present point of need. Show me your reality and heal my heart of any wrong ideas about you. Take away the burden of striving, so that I may enjoy each day, really knowing the reality of your presence. I love you Lord, Amen."


Please feel free to post comments on what questions inspire you or challenge you or minister to you. I look forward to your comments.

Chapter 2 questions:

1. Psalm 16:11 says, "You will make known to me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy; in Your right hand there are pleasures forever." David found strength and great joy in knowing God in the midst of his difficulties. He was not a perfect man; he made mistakes just like you and I do. But that didn't affect his confidence in his relationship with his God.

Write down the adjectives that describe what you find in your heart's relationship with God (fear, disillusionment, condemnation, contentment, doubt, happiness.)

What specific obstacles prevent you from experiencing God's love and joy?

Where does this passage tell us we will find joy? What does that mean to you?

2. James 4:4 says, "You adultersses, do you not know that friendship with the world is hostility to God? Therefore, whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God."

What does this passage say are the consequences of being a friend with the world?

3.  Saul had ruled by his own thoughts, will and prowess and led the people into spiritual devastation.  David wanted to consecrate his kingship on the understanding that he was merely a servant of God and that only when God was exalted in their midst would Israel be blessed. You might say that Saul was a picture of following the world and David was a picture of following God. These men reflected two different kinds of heart allegiance: one leading the people to vanity, one leading the people to God and life.

What style of living do you see more of yourself in, Saul's or David's?

What could you change to bring your life more in line with how David lived his life?

Friday 10 September 2010

The Search for Joy in a Less Than Perfect World

Today we begin MomHeart, a small group emphasizing the biblical design of motherhood and celebrating our roles as moms. This online study is a means for women to participate who work or can't make the small group at the Y.

When we become moms there is no guide book that comes with each child. Of course we can consume ourselves with the unending flow of information available but it often is information that is contradictory depending on whom you are reading. Confusion results coupled with frustration as we try to get inside the heads of these little ones entrusted to us by God.  Furthermore, the moment we find ourselves with some rhythm in the parenting journey, something changes to disturb that rhythm only for the process of discovery to begin again as kids and life  constantly change.

Because MomHeart  is biblically based, it is freeing to know I only need to go to one source for direction and encouragement in my parenting.  It is with great joy I seek the Father, the one who entrusted these five children to me anyway for wisdom to parent them in such a way that honors God.

Because we are the object of God's love...He made us, He loves us, He cares for us...is faithful to us, etc., it is a privilege to defer to His call to walk in joy.  In John chapter 15, Christ tells us in verse 11, "I have told you this so that my  joy may be in you and your joy may be complete."But we find ourselves surrounded by less than joyful circumstances in life as a result of living in a fallen world. Here are these precious little ones in our fold and we are surrounded by pornography, adultery, sickness, pain, crime, abuse, and divorce. The list is endless.

Often surrounded by such ugliness, one seeks to find joy through less than perfect means: social status, our children's achievements, drinking, partying, relationships, excessive spending. Again, the list goes on and on. It begins a vicious cycle that spirals down leaving us with empty hands and empty hearts.

Furthermore, when we find Christ and begin to journey with Him, we often become disillusioned by the suffering that comes from walking with Christ....suffering in our jobs, hardships in marriage, kids with special needs...another unending list. We begin to do what we know to be right like being still, listening to God, seeking Him, but the circumstances don't change. So, to embrace joy in a less than perfect world, one begins with simply belief...belief that God is for me and wants me to walk in His joy.

If you often find yourself, like me, in a less than joyful state, may we be encouraged  to "right" our thinking regarding joy. In First Peter chapter one we read, "we receive an inheritance in Christ..that can never perish, spoil, or fade which brings us great joy although for a little while we will suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith-of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire-may be proved genuine and may result in praise, honor, and glory when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in Him and are filled with inexpressible joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls."

Peter wrote this at a time in history when Christians were scattered all over the earth and suffering severe persecution...some even thrown to lions as partying Romans looked on and laughed literally in a sports arena. Yet, Peter encourages them to hold on to what they know to be truth....Christ and Christ in them..the hope of glory. Likewise, we live in an arena of lions where darts of misinformation, struggles, discouragement, and disillusionment bombard us moment by moment as technology flows through every aspect of our lives. Still, we too are encouraged to hold on to our faith...that which stands the test of time and trials of life.

I look forward to your comments to this week's questions as you read chapter one and reflect on what God is saying to each of you.

1. What hinders me from "feeling His joy"?

2,  What is the most prominent feeling about life I have?  Where did it come from?

3.  What is my greatest area of disillusionment or circumstances that most often robs me of joy?

4.  What do my attitudes say about God's character? Are there any areas in which I have subtly believed God is not concerned about my personal needs? What are the unanswered prayers in my life that I am still waiting for him to answer?

The author's prayer...

"Dear heavenly Father,

Please move in my heart. Teach me to live in the fullness of your joy. Show me through your Word and by your Holy Spirit how I might learn to dance my life with you as my lead, following your steps, listening to the rhythm of your love. Take my burdens into your hands and lighten my load as I seek you in the deep places of my heart. Amen."

Tuesday 7 September 2010

River of life lesson: We are not made to be alone.

Today begins a series of posts I plan to write expounding on community.  We happen to attend a church with a small group structure. Hence, we are not program driven. We only meet corporately on Sunday  morning to celebrate and learn together. But the remainder of time we are to flesh out our walk with others through the community of believers we are walking through life with.

But what exactly is community? What does it look like? How does it feel? These series of posts will share my heart on this idea of community.

God has never been alone. Since creation in the first chapter of Genesis God has always been in community with the two other parts of His being...the Spirit and his Son.  In Genesis 1:2 the word says the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters. Again in verse 26 of the same chapter, God says,  "Let  us make man in our image.." In John chapter one we see that "In the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning." The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us.(John1:14)...that  'He' is who we know as Jesus.

Because God has never been alone and we are made in His image, I believe it is His desire that we are never alone as well. Yes, we always have His presence with us as believers but after his ascension, he was clear that we are to walk together through life through intimate relationships with other people who call us to greatness, hold us accountable, love us unconditionally, and stick through life, no matter what the circumstances, to hold up our arms in the life battles we constantly face.

There are many passages to support this way of thinking but two of my favorite are:Galatians 6:2 "Carry each others burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ". "Carry" in this passage is synonymous  with "support". Again in Hebrews 10:24-25, "Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another...."


When we choose to walk alone through life, we are placing ourselves in a place of vulnerability to attack.  It makes it easy to fall into wrong thinking which makes us prey to a victim mentality, and a 'whoa is me' mindset. We miss receiving the blessing of others or being a blessing to those in need. It is a selfish and self centered mindset.

However, community is a foreign concept to most. Society has taught the cultural norm that it is weak and immature to admit any weaknesses or share your struggle. But this is directly contrary to God's instruction to us to meet together, spur one another on and share one another's burdens.

In future posts, there will be practical ways we explore to further understand community. But for today, at least consider the command to walk through life in relationship with God and others. If you are already walking in community, ask God who can you bless today or look for who is a blessing to you. Then tell them how much they meant to you. It is so encouraging.

Monday 30 August 2010

MomHeart Online Bookclub

This summer I participated in an online book club for the first time ever. As a single working mom with a crazy schedule, it is often challenging to find time to attend bible studies. My motivation for the online study was to have great discussions with both my mom and oldest daughter who read and participated as well.  It was a great experience that met my needs for spiritual accountability but never took me outside my home, caused need for a babysitter, or cost me anything other than the cost of the book.


My time this summer prompted me to think about bringing the MomHeart discussion of Dancing with my Father online as well. Our small group is set to start Friday, September 10 at the Heart of the Valley YMCA on Weatherly Road. We meet weekly from 9-1030 and childcare is available. However, this is not a good fit for working mothers or  home school moms.  Hence, the online discussion. So, here are the specifics.


On Friday, September 10 I will post a short discussion followed by questions, which are in the book. You will read the chapter and answer the questions on your own during the week. The following Friday, you will log onto my blog and post your comments from the questions, read others comments, and hopefully be encouraged in your parenting or grandparenting journey to embrace joy in spite of the circumstances of life. 


What do you need to do if interested:  ORDER YOUR BOOK  Dancing with my Father by Sally Clarkson TODAY FROM EITHER OF THE FOLLOWING SITES: www.wholeheart.org or www.amazon.com 


Please contact me through my blog or facebook and let me know you are planning on participating.

Friday 27 August 2010

I am broken...

RIVER OF LIFE LESSON: JUST BECAUSE SOMETHING IS BROKEN DOESN'T MEAN IT'S NO GOOD.

My "River of Life Lesson" is borrowed but I am embracing it as a life philosophy because it fits me. From Maggie by Charles Martin, "Just because something is broken doesn't mean it's no good. Doesn't mean you throw it away.  It just means it's broken, and broken is okay. I wanted to tell her that broken is still beautiful, still works, still wakes me in the morning, and at the end of every day past and to come, I can love broken."

I realized recently that I am broken. It wasn't the first time but it was the most aware of my brokenness I have been in a while.  Swallowed by grief, I would daily drive home from work with deafening silence. For months, the ride home had been filled with joyful light-hearted conversation with the love of my life. It was the same routine every day and it never tired. Before I opened my car door to head home, my hands were already dialing his number.  We shared our day together over the phone and planned again to talk at bedtime.

I sincerely did not know what to do with myself without him.  So I cried all the way home every day for months. At times I wondered if people on the Parkway thought I was on drugs or crazy but I didn't care. Grief trumps pride...at least in my book it did.

At one point I was having a conversation simultaneously with both God and the man I loved. I knew God could hear me but I wasn't positive about the other but I didn't care. It made me feel better to talk to him because it had become part of my life...part of who I was.

Finally, I cried out to the Lord. "I know you love me and have my best interest at heart. I know you have my kid's best interest at heart. Although I don't understand why he had to die, I know you know best BUT WHAT IN THE WORLD AM I SUPPOSE TO DO WITH ALL THIS PAIN?" In the quiet, through my tears, the Father spoke. "Pam, all your life all you have done is minimized your pain, made excuses for your pain, and denied your pain. Why don't you, for now, just be a  mess. I don't love you any less."  At that moment I began to let myself off the hook from being some super hero Christian who has it all together and just be broken.

God has used broken people since the beginning of time to carry His message. Think about Moses, David, Jonah, and Paul. We are all broken in some capacity but sometimes the circumstances of life cause a bigger crack than others. But the Father is in the business of mending and reconciliation.  He is making something beautiful out of our mess.

So I am thankful for the reminder from my most recent read that I am broken but I am okay.  Not only am I okay but I am still beautiful, I still work. and I can still be loved.  Mind you when I say I am beautiful, there is no vain idea there. However, I trust that because my heart is occupied by  Christ, He makes me beautiful.

Wednesday 25 August 2010

If you have to work, do something you like.

I love my job. River of life lesson: If you have to work, you need to do something you like.  I believe work is not part of the curse. I believe work is an opportunity to enjoy life in a productive way and operate out of the passions the Father has put into each of us.

I happen to work at a place with fantastic food and great people..both co workers and customers. Occasionally there are catering events to work. I have been afforded the privilege of working in homes with  the most breathtaking views of Huntsville, while serving some of the finest food in the most wonderful homes to gracious people who are just glad to have you there.

Yesterday, I worked a board luncheon at a local bank...eleventh floor boardroom with huge glass windows which overlooked our entire city. Here was the menu: roasted pork tenderloin, croissant  tomato cheddar casserole , lima beans, bread, sweet potato pie, and a salad with fresh blueberries, strawberries, blue cheese crumbles and toasted sugared walnuts with balsamic vinaigrette. Whew, that was a lot to type and eat!

We plated too many plates which to my advantage left food for me as the board members cleared out and moved to another room for their meeting. As I cleaned up I enjoyed the extra and considered  writing about that pork.

On Monday, our entree to go at the shop included this same roasted pork tenderloin. As I saw the meat being sliced, I was able to get a small slither from the end. The taste of that meat literally carried me the rest of the day. It was so scrumptious, I was unwilling to taste anything else until dinner for fear of losing that moment with that piece of pork.

I began thinking about how unhealthy pork is for you and that in the Old Testament it was forbidden to eat. My mind raced forward to the wedding banquet which we, as believers, will get to participate in...Yes, there will be food in heaven. I began feeling quite thankful that we live under the New Testament grace of our Lord and are free to eat whatever meat we desire. Understanding, of course, that many things in moderation can be ok.

I really wasn't planning on writing about my pork story until a sweet  young lady came in the shop last night to buy fried chicken for dinner. As I rang her up, she went on and on about the pork entree she had purchased the night before. That was all it took for me. I gave her my five second version of my experience and how I was considering blogging about my divine moment. Because at that moment of intense pleasure, I absolutely thanked the Father for delicious food.

She said, "You absolutely should write about this!" So here you have it. I pray you are enjoying where you work.

Tuesday 24 August 2010

How I got to this place.

The journey to MomHeart began some twelve to thirteen years ago. A call to home school our then two young girls was pressing in on my heart. But I fought against it diligently. The only home school family I knew back from back in Kansas was over the top. The mom would stand up in the Sunday morning service pleading for our vote that week for whatever conservative issue was pressing through Congress. She would also meet you at the nursery door and say something like, "Your child has thick green discharge from her nose. The pediatricians are now believing that indicates infection. She should not be with other kids."

As a young believer, in Christ, I took those things personally and felt insecure in my role as a mommy. I did not find her very inviting. I also harbored a judgmental spirit towards her which today I can appreciate as passion. I may be different but I can unconditionally love her as a sister in Christ and appreciate that the Father has simply made her passionate about different things than me.  Did I mention I had gotten pregnant out of wedlock and was a single mom.

Needless to say, my first relationship with a home school family was rocky from the start. RIVER OF LIFE LESSON: DON'T EVER SAY YOU WILL NEVER DO SOMETHING!

Within the next six years my life transformed to almost look identical to the woman at church. There was a call to home school, I was married and  the second child had come. I joined a local support group for preschoolers who were homeschooling called Bright Lights.  We met once a month and shared support and encouragement with other home school moms. One night we had curriculum night and a mother showed up with a laundry basket full of teacher's manuals and workbooks for her kids. All of our children were under six. I had brought a duck washcloth that I used to play with my girls in the tub. I would sing bible verses to my girls with the duck cloth. Needless to say, the confusion and insecurity set in again. But help was a little quicker this time.

I went to bible study the following morning and sat down next to a co leader who home schooled. I said, "I thought this was supposed to be fun!?" and proceeded to tell her about my previous evening's experience. She said "Pam, you need to read Educating the Wholehearted Child"

Fast forward eleven years...I have read every book by the Clarkson family and have adopted their philosophy for child training and educating. Although I am now a single working mother and have three children in public school, I still attend mother conferences every year and currently lead a MomHeart discipleship group for mothers at the local YMCA.  Hence, how I got to where I am.  If anyone is interested in attending MomHeart, feel free to contact me. We begin meeting Sept 10. Enjoy the  video below as a sample of what our book study will be:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZlCcVq-Dxs

Sunday 22 August 2010

Life's Lessons: It Pays to Wait and Ask Questions

Today is day one of the blogging world for Pam.  May this  be a place to share my heart with the stories of my life that in turn  encourage you in your own journey. More vital, may my stories inspire you to tell your own stories. Finally, may all our stories forever point to our place in history (HIS STORY). After all my stories pale in comparison to the stories of my Creator.

A life philosophy I have embraced is that it pays to wait and it pays to ask questions.  I have a story to tell....several Christmases ago I received a gift card from the local Christian book store, a favorite place of mine to shop at the time. Around the same time I received a coupon in the mail for an additional amount off. I also had a gift to return so I was excited about combining my monies and coupon for something special I was sure to find. Some how I had managed to get some free time. That alone is most often a story in itself. Being a single mom of five kids presents challenges for alone time.

Regardless, I was alone and took off on a Saturday evening rushing before the store closed at eight.  I already had my items picked out and proceeded to the counter only to find out that my coupon was not good until the following week. Furthermore, the item I was returning could not be issued as a credit because it was put on my mother's debit card. The store would first have to issue her a credit on her account.  Needless to say, I was frustrated that things weren't going as I had planned. So, I put my items back in their place and left the store around 7:45.


Have I mentioned there were only ONE of each item I chose. There was no way they could be there on Monday or could they? The store was closed on Sunday. If I could be back up there at opening time Monday morning, I might get my goodies. My mind immediately began calculating the opportunity costs of another trip. From gas to missed lessons with the kids, etc., my mind had it all worked out but still I ran the entire idea by my  best friends in life group on Sunday night. They greatly encouraged me to "go for it" on Monday.

I took the trip up on Monday and to my surprise not only was the coupon honored but every item had been reduced to 75% off. Several of my most precious Christmas decorations came from that one year when "it paid to wait". 

I am happy to say today I would not give near the pressure to what I should or shouldn't do. I am in a better place to know the Father wants me to have good things. He is for me and if it is in His plan, they will be there, He will make a way for me to have them. If not, He will send something better. But, even then, in spite of my fretting, I was blessed immeasurably with tangible expressions that help me to celebrate this story as well as the Christmas story each year.

Now, as far as asking questions go, I have embraced the life philosophy  that the worse thing anyone can tell you is "no". So, I ask alot of questions. Friday was payday. I had wanted to stop at this giftshop near work for two weeks but found myself constantly rushing to and from work. On Friday, I made the time to go in for a flag for my yard. A customer at work told me they were all on sale. I found my flag but what really caught my eye were two plaques with distressed painting. I am going to try and put a picture of them on here for you but the caption read on one.."

                                          "  DARING...STARTS FROM WITHIN"

and the other read...

                               "COURAGE....IS THE POWER TO LET GO OF THE FAMILIAR"

Each panel had a price tag out of my spending range but I WANTED THEM. My kids are about to all change rooms when my oldest daughter Lawren leaves for Berlin next month...but that's another story for another post.

I am always looking for ways to inspire my kids even through decor so I thought this would be a hit for my boys room. So, I mentioned my interest to the sales lady. I also asked her to come down to the shop where I work and tell me if they ever went on sale because I would get them. Right then and there she offered them to me for 50% off...said she was trying to move merchandise and was not going to carry their stuff any longer because they charged too much for shipping. I kid you not. All I did was ask.