How I Got To Where I Am

Life seems to moving at a more rapid pace than usual which equates with what feels like fast forward. I thought once the 22 games in 18 days (another story in itself) was complete, there was nothing left but to slow down. Wrong. Business at the store is great. The two high schoolers are finishing up their basketball seasons, some of the decorations are still up...yep Christmas, and  the opportunities to join God where He is at work keeps me inspired daily.

Today, what I am most excited about is the upcoming Mom Heart Conference of North Alabama to be held here in Huntsville in March. I had the privilege of sharing my heart online recently. Click  here   to find out more about this upcoming event and a little about me and "how I got to where I am."

Have a glorious weekend.

Pam

Inspiration Fleshed Out: A Different Kind of Thanksgiving

Inspiration comes in various ways for me and I'm never quite prepared for it. As wreckless as grief can be when it blindsides you during a normal day's activities, inspiration will creep in like a wrecking ball as well. The difference for me is grief will subside as I feel the pain, cry out to God, and thank Him for the opportunity to be impacted so greatly by another human. Yet, inspiration won't leave me. No  matter how much I try to "talk down" the new crazy idea, plans begin to take shape inside my head. Before I know it I'm actually verbalizing the idea with others for feedback.

That's what happened for Thanksgiving Day. The idea popped into my head to use our family  business Graves Grocery as an outreach for the needy as a place to celebrate Thanksgiving. It all started when an elderly customer came in for biscuits for breakfasts. He said, "I can't cook anymore because I can't see well. Yesterday I nearly burnt the house down trying to cook myself something." Then another regular customer who comes in every day for over a year now for his "scrambled egg sandwich", prompted my thoughts that he has no family outside of his twin brother who lives with him. Who will they celebrate Thanksgiving with?

I first went to my family for their blessing to step outside of our traditional family day together. The first response came from my brother, "That's the best idea I've heard of in a long time." One by one each member agreed to venture off our traditional path to spend the day serving our community.

Then I begin reaching out to others more knowledgeable than myself like Fran from the Manna House. She serves thousands on Thanksgiving day. By the time word got out, I had more volunteers and resources than we could even use for the day. I literally had to turn families away from volunteering because we had so many offers to help. There were those who cooked hens for the chicken and dressing. Then my friend Lynette  baked every pie or cheesecake from scratch that was served that day. There were so many who gave monetary donations to help with any expenses. Another regular customer, a business man in the community, asked specifically if there were any funds needed. He didn't want me to be out any for the outreach. I assured him we had been generously provided for our day's needs.

The blessings of family and friends!

 I learned something important from this venture on Thanksgiving Day.

 SOMETIMES THE RESOURCES ARE IN PLACE, A COMMUNITY JUST NEEDS A PERSON TO SPEARHEAD THE MINISTRY. 

I live in a small unincorporated rural community. Yet, I was amazed at the people who reached out to support this endeavor. There were so many verbal blessings, comments on social media, offers to help, money donations, etc..One lady even called from Florida. She said her mother lived in nearby Priceville. She had lost her dad this year. They were looking for something different to do on Thanksgiving to help knowing the holiday would be hard with their loss. Although we had enough volunteers, she was so encouraging over the phone about our outreach. One time I attended a church where the pastor was commenting on church giving. He was saying thanks to the congregation but said, "Your giving is ridiculous it's so abundant." I never forgot that and that's exactly how I feel about my community.

What a blessing it is to be a part of a place where hearts are big, hands and wallets are open, and I'm trusted to manage that honorably.

There weren't enough business cards to send out with plate lunches and I never got around to having a little note to include in each bag that shared my heart about the day. I wanted every person eating to know that because I had experienced the transforming love of Christ it was my hope that in some small way their meal would do the same for them. I wanted them to know they were important to me and to God...that their life mattered. But I'm trusting the prayer covering for the day and our actions spoke louder than business cards or notes.

World's greatest customers and precious friends.

What might God be stirring to inspiration in you? Will you run with it? Start talking about your ideas with a team of friends whose hearts beat for the same purpose.....to share the love of Christ. There are so many creative ways to let people know they are valuable. I hope to hear what ventures the Lord has you on.

It's Good to Know Where You Are Headed

Whether you are headed to the grocery or church knowing how you will get there is quite helpful. I am reminded of a quote that's stuck over the years:

FAIL TO PLAN, PLAN TO FAIL

When I became a mother, I needed a plan. My growing up years had not included alot of time around infants or toddlers. I managed to live a fairly self centered life. About the time I came to the end of  myself, through many trials, toils, and fears, I found myself a mother to a living being who needed me for everything.

Within a couple of years I was expecting again.

At a  loss for what to do with these little people God entrusted to me I found myself depressed and even angry at times. I was isolated and ill equipped to handle such a big responsibility. We muddled through the first few years of life with family but I longed for something more. I just didn't know what. Something deeper for my children. It was about then I reached out to an old college friend who sent me to the nearest bible study. She recognized the signs that I was in need of community and time with God.

Getting into God's word opened my heart and mind to hearing from the Lord personally and better understanding the nature and character of God. Our family had decided to homeschool so I was in more need of community than ever. A friend at bible study introduced me to the  Clarkson's Educating the Whole Hearted Child. The discipleship model of parenting resonated with  my spirit and freed me from the burdens of legalism imposed on me by my own mind and well intended others.

The next 15 years included yearly Mom Heart Conferences, recent summer intensives, and the birthing of local mom heart groups to encourage and equip one another. What I didn't expect to transpire was a failed marriage and the onset of becoming a single working mother of five children.

I needed a new plan. But I didn't need a new God. The heavenly father that I had been cultivating a relationship with carried me, sustained me, and gave me new hope for ALL of His promises to still be true in spite of my new marital status.

I'm so grateful the truths afforded me by my mentor Sally Clarkson rang true during the most difficult season of my life. Because my faith journey had grown leaps and bounds over the past decade God equipped me through His word, His body, and His Spirit to walk through this very hard and dark place.

Maybe you are walking through a difficult time.

Maybe you are struggling with a wayward child.

Maybe you are beaten down by your past.

Maybe you need help with your plan.

Whatever your circumstances, I believe you will be encouraged by attending the upcoming Mom Heart conference in Illinois. It would be my honor to meet you as I share from my heart

 "Can Broken Stories Have Happy Endings?"

Come and meet several of my friends, strong women of faith, who haven't had an easy life but serve a great God. We look forward to meeting you the first weekend of November.

Find out more information about the conference here: www.amomsheartinil.com

Single Mom Sabbath: Our Need For Community

As I grow in my faith journey I become more and more convinced of the need for community in my life.  Furthermore, I realize how needy I am in life. This journey began almost sixteen years ago with my first born son, child number three, who was born with a milk allergy. Our family was on a weekly grocery budget of $50 and suddenly it doubled due to the special formula needed.

As I shared my concerns with my small group of bible study friends, their hearts were moved. I know this because the following week I received a $100 check in the mail for formula. The note read "I had some extra birthday  money and wanted to share it." It was from a lady from another denomination and my first experience in receiving money from outside my biological family. It felt strange but good. The Lord began teaching me then about the mandate and significance of community. One thing I learned is this:

COMMUNITY BREAKS DOWN DENOMINATIONAL BARRIERS

Honestly, I could write all day about community because of the impact it's had in our family's life as a single working mom of five. Soon after this first incident of giving, we joined a church that had a community group structure. Our family found it's place in a small group of like minded families who shared Sunday nights together over a meal. I am convinced in God's sovereignty He placed us in a place that would walk our family through the most difficult season of our life: my divorce. 

The wives in this group would ask the hard questions that I was still to proud to talk about such as, "what bills do you have and how much are they"? These women were the ones who checked in weekly or more often and asked specific questions about our day or week. 

COMMUNITY ASKED THE SPECIFIC AND HARD QUESTIONS

They were the ones to correct wrong thinking if my thoughts were negative and off track biblically. During a vulnerable time such as a divorce, financial or marital crisis, or you name it crisis, the enemy is more prone to attack us in our weakest areas to create doubt, insecurity, and confusion....none of which are ever from God.

COMMUNITY CORRECTS WRONG THINKING AND HELPS US LINE OUR THINKING UP WITH SCRIPTURE

After spending a lifetime in traditional church and knowing hundreds of people, serving on every team possible, and spending countless hours in program driven ministry, these are the women who invited me into their homes and fed my soul, loved my children, and kept my faith alive and strong during the hardest time of my  life. Although that season of our lives together has changed I will never forget the impact they had on my family, the layout of their homes (after countless nights there), or their precious families. It was a life impacting memory imprinted into my heart and soul.

We all need go to people for the various needs in our lives while we, too, have something to offer in return. When you become a Christ follower, the indwelling Christ in you, brings out your unique gifts and abilities which in turn bless those giving. Discipleship, present in the life of community, is a two way process, regardless of how inadequate we may feel, or how limited our resources appear. The indwelling Christ in each of us is unlimited and full of resurrection power waiting to flow out of us as we lean on dependency of His Holy Spirit residing in us.Paul taught this to the Galatians as he reminded them, "Carry one another's burdens, for in this you fulfill the law of Christ."

Who are your "go to" people. I have specific people for specific needs. Since I enrolled  my three youngest children in public school six years ago, I have gone to my friends Dana and Danny who have a daughter Madisen. Hannah and she have played on several of the same sports teams, taken vacations together, and been pulled in the snow on the back of a four wheeler. I can nearly ALWAYS count on Dana to help me because with four children still in sports, there is NO possible way to be everywhere for each of them. 

Yesterday we wound up in Locust Fork, Alabama together for a basketball tournament. We discovered this beautiful bridge between games and were able to celebrate our girls and life together. It was good....the way God designed community to be.

If you don't have your go to people, ask God to show you who is safe and seek them out. If you are single, I strongly suggest you seek healthy married couples so your children have a picture of all Christ wants for them in spite of our own life disappointments. Don't be afraid or too prideful to ask for help. It's biblical and the blessing is waiting on both ends. And it will bring your rest for your soul.

I would love to hear about your family of faith that is encouraging you.

Love, Pam

Single Mom Sabbath: For When Depression Sets In

It's here. It set in today wanting to stay. The depression. After a tenacious weekend of extended family crisis, my dad flipping his car last night, and running out of progesterone cream....I am a mess. It would be a day that I could have stayed in bed all day feeling sorry for myself.

But someone has to get up and go to work around here and I am the only adult. I guess that means me. So I literally "put on" Christ because it was the only way I was getting there.

Then I remembered how to get out of my hard place. Practice thanksgiving. Another reminder came from a friend many years ago when I thought I couldn't do another day because the grief of losing my love was so debilitating. She gently but firmly reminded me to go do something for someone else. It was a guaranteed way to get out of my self centered state. And it worked. It works every time because it's how we are created...to love and serve others.

So today I got to love and serve my missionary friends from Uganda Simon and Aggie Paech. 

We hosted the first Aggie's Arts trunk show at the store today. It was an opportunity for the community to stop in and meet and greet Aggie, learn more from Simon and she about the various ministry opportunities they work with in Kampala and Kisoro. There were some new beads handcrafted by the ladies in Banda as well for purchase. They are here for seven weeks to raise awareness of their mission in Uganda and prayerfully interact with others who may share the vision of missions and come on board as a supporter.

I got to serve my friends the special of the day: pinto beans and cornbread. And I got to hear Aggie's heart. While asking about there recent trip to Kisoro, she shared what was the most meaningful experience. This trip afforded a new venture. Animals were purchased for 10 families in order for them to begin a business creating a sustainable income to help these families in poverty. You can check out the new ministry opportunity at www.kisorokids.org

Aggie's words were, "this woman was SO SO grateful. She thanked me over and over the entire time we were there." Thanksgiving produces joy. The woman will mate the goat and sell the babies allowing her a first time income!

Caregivers of the Kisoro Kids happy about the animal and potato project!

Here are the first 10 families to receive animals! This is something that has been way out of their reach. Through raising animals they will be able to meet many more of their needs, including paying school fees for their children

And the most wonderful thing happened when I decided to love and serve rather than feel sorry for myself.

My friends came through. 

All the ones who said they would come to meet Aggie actually did! And many brought their children to meet the missionaries.

And there were even new people who drove from over an hour just to be a part of our venture today! Thank you to each and every person who showed up today. God used you to spread some joy in my heart. I am grateful! And I am joyful.

May we "rest" from moments of depression today by practicing gratitude and by loving and serving those God places in our path.

I would love to hear how He's working that out in your life.

Love, Pam

Single Mom Sabbath: How Reading Brings Rest

I am finding gems of truth in the book I am currently reading: The Indwelling Life of Christ, All of Him in All of Me by Major W. Ian Thomas.  It is packed with practical but poignant insight into what it means to live the exchanged life...my old life for the new life of Christ which resides in me.

I have found reading to bring me rest over the years of my single life. I love biographies, faith building books, and when in the right frame of mind can even enjoy a great love story. Reading can remove you from your current circumstances and place you mind elsewhere whether it be a glorious setting described in the book providing peace or a frightening prisoner camp affording the opportunity for a tenacious act of courage inspiring us to trust in a new way.

Yesterday I enjoyed my  new book from my car while watching a double header baseball game. It was entirely too cold to be sitting on bleachers and I had a birds eye view anyway from the warmth of my front seat as the sun shone through my window.

As I pondered over what all I desired to accomplish after the ball games I felt myself slipping into sadness. That place of disappointment that once again I am in charge of it all....cooking, shopping, errands, fix the Easter baskets, Easter morning breakfast and the list goes on and on.

I allowed my mind to fast forward to this morning when AGAIN we would pile into church....all 7 of us with an absent dad/husband. And I remembered then:

Holidays can be hard for single parents and their children.

My kids will look around and see all the whole families: mom, dad, children. In the past they've shared their hurts with me of how painful it is to sit next to a complete family. It is then I remember what we are celebrating tomorrow and refuse to allow my mind to advance one more negative thought. I pick up my book and here is what I find:

God is indispensable for the truly normal human being. The human spirit is that part of us where God lives within us in the person of the Holy Spirit, so that with our moral consent (and never without it), God gains access to our human soul. This is where He Himself, as the Creator within the creature, can teach our minds, control our emotions, and direct our wills, so that He, as God from within, governs our behavior as we let God be God.  

If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit (Galatians 5:25), and this is what it means to walk in the Holy Spirit: to take one step at a time, and for every new situation into which every step takes you, no matter what it may be, to hear Christ saying to your heart, "I AM," then to look into His face by faith and say, "You are!" That is all I need to know, Lord, and I thank you, for You are never less than adequate."

Thank you God for being all I needed today and everyday. Thank you for giving me your courage to brave through going to church ONE MORE EASTER without a husband or father for my children. Thank you for reeling my mind back in with truth that you are enough for me as well as my children.

Thank you for the resurrection hope that we are complete in you.

I'm including a few pictures to record our memories of another sweet holiday with it's traditions.

Two dozen delicious deviled eggs!

Traditional Easter goodies for the children!

Grandmother's china ready for breakfast!

Something special to eat: egg cups and hot sugar doughnuts!

A wonderful family. So happy Mom and my brother Jonathan joined us for church!

What are you reading that's inspiring your mind, changing your thinking?

I hope you will share!

Love, Pam

Single Mom Sabbath: When God stops you dead in your tracks.

During the years of counseling prior to my divorce, I remember asking one counselor over the phone if there was anything I was missing. I asked her if there was something I was blind to that I was not addressing.

As my marriage appeared to be failing, my only concern was disobeying God. I had tasted the pleasure of living in obedience...I had come to a place of realizing even if I could please no one else on the face of the earth I could please the living God.

My counselor answered with fear and trepidation (no one can give you permission to divorce). It's a faith journey between you and God. Lisa answered,  "Pam, you are an overcomer. You have persevered through childhood trauma of alcoholism, abuse, and much more. You have the strength to persevere through much but I think that strength might be working against you."

Because I am a persevering person I remain in difficult situations longer than some because of the hope I have in Christ that He is a miracle making God. Then there are the times, like this past Thursday, when He stops me dead in my tracks because He can't get my attention any other way.

I woke up at 2 am Friday morning with severe chest pain. It was as though someone had their hand around my heart as was squeezing it. After prayerful consideration I woke my daughter Mary Catherine up and requested a ride to the ER.

After 12 hours of questions, tests, and blood work, I was diagnosed as heart healthy. The stress test operator actually affirmed that, for an asthmatic, I performed outstanding.

Only once before has God used my health to get my attention. I had been ill with respiratory issues, job stress, and other single working mom woes for a full six months. I was driving back from Atlanta at the end of Spring Break with a fever I couldn't break. As Hannah, my fourteen year old,  sat next me I realized I could not continue with the current stressful job situation. I simply was unable to care well for the children God entrusted to me.

Upon returning home I began a forty day fast to seek the Lord. It was another act of obedience to my pastor and exhortation from my oldest daughter Lawren. Our church pastor had called a fast for our body. But it was my belief single moms need to eat often everyday in order to survive. I chose something other than food to fast from but fasted nonetheless.

Since I didn't have a particular request from God at the time, when tempted to break the fast, I simply prayed, "Lord, I want to know you more."

My body was too fatigued from the illness to worry about my future. I knew the truth that it was in God's hands. He was faithful to provide and would continue to be true to His character.

At the end of the fast, I could never have imagined the opportunity God would open for our family. He provided us with a small business in our community that has become a place of ministry to others: 

Graves Grocery: A Community Reststop.

A Place to Satisfy your Hunger and your Heart

Our little resting place. Thank you God.

June will make two years of being a small business owner. It is the most rewarding job I have ever had and satisfies my desire to be available for my children anytime. They stop by before and after school to eat. Often I even get to feed their friends.  It was what I loved during the years I could stay at home and homeschool my children. Even though God closed that season of my life He faithfully afforded a creative way for me to continue to minister to my children even though I had to return to work outside the home....I believe it was all because I fasted.

So today I officially begin a new fast as we enter into Holy Week. The prophet Isaiah in chapter 58 spoke on fasting to the people of Israel who were getting it wrong:

"Shout! A full-throated shout! Hold nothing back-a trumpet-blast shout! Tell my people what's wrong with their lives, face my family Jacob with their sins! They're busy, busy, busy, at worship, and love studying about me. To all appearances they're a nation of right-living people--law abiding, God-honoring. They ask me, "What's the right thing to do?' and love having me on their side. But they also complain, 'Why do we fast and you don't look our way? Why do we humble ourselves and you don't even notice? "Well, here's why: "The bottom line on your "fast days" is profit. You drive your employees much too hard. You fast, but at the same time you bicker and fight. You fast, but you swing a mean fist. The kind of fasting you do won't get your prayers off the ground. Do you think this is the kind of fast I'm after: a day to show off humility? To put on a pious face and parade solemnly in black? Do you call that fasting, a fast day that I, God, would like?" 

My pastor says God is telling them they are all saturated with themselves...they are not restoring others. I don't want to be known as a person like that. So today I fast because God's stopped me dead in my tracks and I don't want to miss what He's trying to tell me...or what He's got waiting for me at the end. I want to fast like this:

"This is the kind of fast day I'm after: to break the chains of injustice, get rid of exploitation in the workplace, free the oppressed, cancel debts. What I'm interested in seeing you do is: sharing your food with the hungry, inviting the homeless poor into your homes, putting clothes on the shivering ill clad, being available to your own families. Do this and the lights will be turned on, and your lives will turn around at once. Your righteousness will pave your way. The God of glory will secure your passage. Then when you pray, God will answer. You'll call out for help and I'll say, 'Here I am.' If you get rid of unfair practices, quit blaming victims, quit gossiping about other people's sins, If you are generous with the hungry and start giving yourselves to the down and out, Your lives will begin to glow in the darkness, your shadowed lives will be bathed in the sunlight. I will always show you where to go. I'll give you a full life in the emptiest of places-firm muscles, strong bones. You'll be like a well watered garden, a gurgling spring that never runs dry. You'll use the old rubble of past lives to build anew, rebuild the foundations from out of your past. You'll be known as those who can fix anything, restore old ruins, rebuild and renovate, make the community livable again.'

So, as my friends tell me to rest more, I won't ignore their cry. I am making intentional changes to my diet. I am backing up my bedtime by an hour. 

Yet, I can not stop being who I am created to be in Christ:  a woman called to love and serve her family and others God's placed in my path. I will walk in the truth that the stripes He bore on Calvary have healed me of earthly diseases. I will believe He has given me a great capacity to love others because His love resides in me. I am His. He is mine. (John 15:4)  

And as I fast, I will wait patiently for Him to reveal Himself to me, like the prophet Habakkuk, will wait with anticipation.

Will you consider how this Holy Week you might hear from God. Normally I would never even admit I was fasting...it sounds pompous. Yet, I am finding many who struggle with basic knowledge of spiritual disciplines.

A fast, is a spiritual discipline to draw us closer to the Lord. It is not a requirement of God but an opportunity to know God better. Matthew 6:16-18

 When some are introduced to a concept of fasting they lack understanding that the fast is a personal journey with a loving heavenly father. So here's mine. This month I will fast from refined sugar and processed foods. I know it's a small change I can make to live healthier. When I am tempted to grab a Snicker's mini bar, I will say, "Lord, I want to know you more." And I will rely on His strength to keep walking pass the candy jar.

Your's will probably look totally different. Maybe you need a break from social media, drinking, shopping, etc. But will you choose something?

I can't wait to share what God reveals and hope you will do the same.

Happy Holy Week. 

Love, Pam