On Confidence and Security as Women

I have noticed along life that two areas women struggle with include confidence and security.  As we put our trust in things of the world, whether it be a job or relationship, we often find either one to fall apart or bring pain from brokenness.

Back in 1993, when my marriage was already failing but to last another long 13 years, I was introduced to bible study. A friend knew I was returning to my hometown to live, without a support system. My now ex-husband was an over the road truck driver and absent for long periods of time, leaving me at home with a two year old (yes, I had been a single mom) and expecting our first child together.

That first year of bible study provided much for me: community, fellowship, and support. But the greatest think I learned that year was the following principle or lesson:

"I could try for the rest of my life to please my family, children, spouse, etc but would often come up empty. However, I could please the God of the universe, my heavenly father, with my life without ever wondering how to do so."

Wow, to have spent over two decades trying to measure up or perform to someone else's standards, bound by others expectations. This truth brought freedom and passion into my heart as I began a sweet journey of discovery as God planned for me unfolded through a committed time of study with him.

So after half my life has past, do I still ever struggle with insecurity or lack confidence. Of course. Those feelings just last for shorter periods of time and the Spirit of God, within me, is quick to remind me, through remaining in His word, promises like the ones found in 1st John 2: 25-29:

As a believer in Christ, I am:

a practicer of righteousness

a receiver of eternal life

 anointed by God who teaches me about ALL things

given confidence

given truth

abiding in Christ

So, today, as the winds of wordly philosophy blow against me that my parenting isn't enough..my relationship skills aren't enough, I fight back with truth, securely, (abiding in Him) and confidently.

Will you join me? Will you appropriate these truths into your own life. If they seem foreign to you, would you ask God to reveal Himself to you through these truths and make them real in your own life. We are secure in Him and we can be confident in Him.

Blessed,

Pam

Being Drawn Into A Story

I have not engaged in a good book, fiction or non, other than the bible since the summer. I found myself with alot of extra time on my hands last night, which is almost foreign as a single mom with five children. However, it was 8:00 then 9:00 and I was still trying to decide what to do to get off facebook, which had become terribly boring by then.

Housework was not an option I wanted to consider, nor did I long to begin a new project. I remembered a book by Charles Martin, shared by a friend last spring, which was still among it's friends in my bedroom.

Not sure if, as usual, I would fall asleep within the first 5-10 minutes, I picked it up and began around 9:30. It wasn't until 2 hours later I put the book down. In two hours I developed a relationship with not only the author but the main characters as well.

It's what a good book does, it draws you into the story, making you part of the redemptive process battling to win in the book.

It's the same with God's word. 

The story of redemption begins with the conflict between Adam, Eve, and Satan in Genesis, the first book of the bible and continues throughout scripture ending in Revelation of God through John regarding the end times.

In the same way as any great book, the author of my faith, God draws me in developing a deeper relationship with me as he reveals himself to me through the study of his word. It keeps my mind focused on Him and what he is saying about me.

Today, God says to me, "let that abide in you which you heard from the beginning. If what you heard from the beginning abides in you, you will also abide in the Son and in the Father." (1st John 2:24)

I long to part of a great story, a wonderful adventure that includes me slaying evil forces and being a part of bringing justice to those treated unjustly.

And I am part of such a story...God's story..

...whether I am comforting my youngest child who constantly feels picked on by his older siblings, or buying gatorade and speaking healing words to a sick child, or teaching truth to a room full of moms, who have never heard the truth.

What are you being drawn into today....

If you are longing for God's adventure in your life yet pulled by the forces of this world and feeling strained, take heart. Christ has overcome the world. And He has a word for you....

"Come to me all ye who are weary and heavy burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS. For my yoke is easy and My burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30

May you learn today by abiding in His word, the truth.

Love, Pam

What doesn't need to change in the New Year

 

The New Year brings about resolutions and changes in many lives. We want to start something new, do better in an area, or stop some bad habit all together. Yet, regarding the word of God,and the presence of God we are to abide. To abide means to to remain, stay, and continue.

From studying the first five chapters thus far of 1st John, the apostle repeatedly states who the believer is and how the believer can know and be confident in their standing with Christ.  He uses statements in 1 John 2:18-21 like...

"because you do know the truth"

"you have an anointing from the Holy One...and you all know."

"as for you, let that abide in you which you heard from the beginning."

I think back about the many things over the years that have gotten me off track. Not, that I am indicating I was out of God's will or doubt His sovereignty.

There are SO many great opportunities to be a part, which are true acts of love and service to others, allowing us to live out the great commission.

However, I know there are times I have been so lost in the ministering, I have been no where near remaining, or abiding in Christ. Irritability, tension, critical spirits surface allowing me to later see how I am attempting to operate in my own strength.

God has used these times, upon reflection, to recognize my need for greater dependency on Him and less on myself.

I was challenged to give 2013 a "Name", which I vehemently fought, since the word that kept coming to me was persist or persevere. I wrestled with God wondering why I couldn't have a fun word like "joy" or "contentment". I am tired of persevering. Also, I didn't want to revisit persisting with God about the opportunity for companionship as a single adult.

But the Father made it clear the persevering is about Him and for His glory. I am to keep on keeping on..taking truth in, letting it remain, continue, abide in me. AND persevere in sharing the truth of who God is with those He brings into my life.

I have learned the hard way I am only content and joyful when I am thanking Him for revealing Himself to me and walking in what He has called me to....

so I will persevere for 2013...I will continue, remain, and abide in Christ.

What will you abide in?

I would love to hear from you!

Happy New Year!

Pam

What Resolutions Have You Made

Mom Heart Intensive, Colorado, 2010

Today I get to share over at www.momheart.org. You will find out why I am so excited about what 2013 has in store especially in regards to Mom Heart ministry in North Alabama. What resolutions have you made this year regarding support or community in your parenting journey. Find out in today's post the difference strong community can make.

For When You Feel Desperate

There have been periodic times in my life that I have felt nothing less than desperate.

Those times have encompassed the spectrum from all five kids having the stomach bug at the same time to a failed marriage and everything in between.

It seems like I lived my life to please others, constantly jumping through the necessary hoops for acceptance, approval, and identity. I've done it with my kids. I did it in my past marriage. And in another life I did it through relationships.

Furthermore, I have felt desperate to be married again...

Desperate for sleep..

Desperate for companionship...

Desperate for support...

It was even a feeling of desperation that led me to Dallas, Texas fourteen years ago, as I entered the world of homeschooling. I was desperate for direction, resources, and support.

What I encountered was the beginning of a fourteen year journey with my creator God. I became a disciple of Sally Clarkson, the Mom Heart mentor.

For the past fourteen years, Sally, along with her gifted speakers, have gently guided mothers, including myself with practical resources and kind encouragement as we journey in a role as mothers. But the main principle prevailing every talk and every conference has been based on the nature and character of God.

Because Sally has spent thousands of hours studying God's word, the truth of who He is and what He says to me..about me..pours through her.

It has been abundantly clear throughout the years that nothing other than the power of God in our lives and us embracing the truths of God will meet the feelings of desperation we all experience as women in our unique life circumstances.

Although God has afforded me the privilege of a personal friendship with Sally, these truths are available to anyone who desires to resolve their feelings of desperation. Sally has written numerous books, which can be found at www.wholeheart.org

However, today's time is about her most recent work, written along with Sarah Mae, a new fresh voice I look forward to meeting in Raleigh.

Find out more at www.desperatemom.com

For me, the sweetest part of the story includes a small writing part, from me, addressed at the end of the book especially for single moms! (pg.213-214)  If anyone had ever told me that my words would be included in a book that is on the first page of www.barnesandnoble.com or as of yesterday was #54 on www.amazon.com I would not believe it to be true.

Recently I listened to a sermon by Louie Giglio who stated the following point:

"The trajectory of your life is not determined by your present circumstances"

How true for this sweet venture I get to be a part of.

I am 46, a single working mom of 5 children, technically backwards, and understand little of social media.

But I have prayed this week that God would do immeasurably more than we could ask or imagine to get this book out there to moms, who were as desperate as I was fourteen years ago. So they, too, can know their maker, and walk confidently in their roles at home.

 He has faithfully heard my prayer, in spite of my lack of computer literacy, and done immeasurably more than we could have asked or imagine.

I pray you will be encouraged by my writing below and know that my God can be your God and meet you in your desperate place as well....Buy your copy today!

A Special Note to Single Moms

"I believe single moms are especially loved by God. He is with you and will support you as you look to him and will work secretly in the hearts of your sweet children, because they, too, are loved by him.
It is my prayer than many of you will find a mentor to love and support you in your challenging and unique calling, so that you will not have to walk this road alone. One of my very dear friends Pam Graves is a single mom who has modeled such faith, grace, and strength over the years and I have asked her to share some of her thoughts about being a single mom."

-Sally

"Because I grew up in a divorced home and knew firsthand the pain associated as a child from a single parent home, I did not plan on being divorced or becoming a  single working mom of five children. Yet, when spiritual matters go unattended in one's life, patterns tend to repeat themselves.
I can honestly say my five children are "standing on my shoulders" are are shaking up the communities where they land, whether it be public school for the  youngest three, college sports for my second born daughter, or my oldest daughter who is presently en route to Berlin, to answer the call to missions.
My sweet nest climbed onto my shoulders as I desperately cried out to the Lord to make me a change factor in our family heritage. I still hold fast to the promises of my Maker that he will complete the good work he began in both me and my children.
There are ongoing battles of depression, loneliness, exhaustion, and character shaping in both my own life and my children. As I give every concern to my Heavenly Father, and press into God in the hard places, he is ever so faithful to meet me and my family in the desperate places, giving grace and lovingkindness to each of us in unique ways that reflect his nature and character.
It can be easy to allow our circumstances to define us: "single," "working mom," "divorced." Even worse, we can buy into the lie that the world judges us because of our circumstances. Whether you are single, divorced, or married, it is imperative to fight the enemy who tries to tear us down.
And we fight, like David, with the power of God's word. God defines us as an inherent treasure that he loved to the point of death. It's the same love we feel about our children. We fight through every battle, insecurity, deception, and fear that they too may know not only how much we love them but also the God of the universe is rooting for them.
Our kids are counting on us. I want to leave a lasting legacy of love and service."

When What Drives You Changes

Recently I wrote a blogpost for Mom Heart about our three gift tradition at Christmas. You can read more about it here: http://www.momheart.org/?s=three+gift+tradition

However this year I did not find my marathon shopping day as enjoyable as usual. It was not a sense of dread but more of duty. We have established these traditions and I must follow through. While that is a good character quality, diligence, I sensed a loss of passion.

Upon revisiting my study of 1st John, I believe I understand why:

In chapter 2 verses 15-17, the apostle John draws a comparison between those of the world and the people of God.

The qualities of those of this world are quite lengthy but make no bones about it:

the love of the Father is not in them

they struggle with lust of flesh

and lust of the eyes

and the boastful pride of life

they do not know their Father

they are passing away

While those belonging to God...

do the will of God

live forever

Pretty simple.  I need simplicity in the New Year. I do not need stress, complications, overwhelming situations, like lines and mass merchandise.

I am a mom. I desire to be available physically, emotionally, and spiritually, which is already a challenge as a single, working mom.

I want to give my kids gifts, and I want to enjoy the process of getting the gifts for them, wrapping, and presenting them.  It is my desire to please my children and celebrate the birth of Christ.

However, recognizing my limitations as a woman who struggles with fatigue and aging, I plan to shop online next year.

I am trusting that will simplify my life and allow me to keep the main thing the main thing..

doing the will of God

living forever

What challenges are you facing that might cause you to question whether you belong to the world or to the people of God. I do not believe we can lose our salvation. Yet, I believe often things of the world will pull on us. Consequently, we make choices that bring our character into question.

How can you simplify your life today for the New Year to keep the main thing the main thing.

With Love,

Pam

A Send Off Letter for Someone Special

Tomorrow my dear friend Amanda will board for her flight to Kampala. Although I long to travel alongside her, this time I am only able to provide a send off.

Amanda, the Aggie’s Arts guru on this side of the Atlantic will spend the next week and half with Simon, Aggie, and their family as well as our sweet ladies from Banda, our Aggie’s Arts ladies. The beadmakers who work tirelessly making jewelry to provide for their families will work together to finalize ministry plans during Simon and Aggie’s furlough.

I love that I am part of a body that takes care of details. We intend to keep these women’s ministries going while our missionaries are resting.

A little over four months ago, a team travelled to Kampala, Uganda for a two- week ministry trip. 

          

Below, is a portion of my journal entry from our unique time in Banda:

Monday, August 27, 2012

We are back from our longest day of ministry. I thought Kisoro would be my favorite part but today proved to be so very rewarding.

We started out to Banda, a slum area, around nine this morning. I was to have the responsibility of teaching the ladies while Keith taught the men. The remainder of the team was to work with the kids.

We were expecting about 50 but as we drove into the slum, there were easily more than 100 just in eyeshot.

We passed the quarry as we climbed the hill into Banda, with the city behind and below us. The Lord brought the song from Bible Study Fellowship preschool program to mind:

   

“There’s a green hill far away

without a city wall.

Where the dear Lord was crucified.

He died to save us all.”

While waiting to unload, I found the passage from Matthew 5:14:

“You are the light of the world. A city on a hill which cannot be hidden.”

I sensed the ladies needed to hear how much God cared, called, and challenged them. The verses from Isaiah, which I have put to memory over the past year, were the verses I shared with them.

Isaiah 41:9b-10

“You are my servant

I have chosen you

And not rejected you

Do not fear for I am with you

I will strengthen you and help you

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

There is something special about reading a line of a passage slowly then having it interpreted into 2 languages. It is quite impacting.

Isaiah 45:3

“I will give you hidden treasures

Riches stored in secret places

So that you may know

I am the God of Israel

Who summons you by name.”

Then I talked to them a few minutes about suffering. I shared that I believe God allows suffering for two reasons:

One: to draw us into dependency on the Lord

Two: To conform us to the image of Christ Romans 8:29

Isaiah 54:10

Though the mountains be shaken

And the hills be removed

Yet my unfailing love for you

Will not be shaken

Nor my covenant of peace

Be removed from you

Says the Lord

Who has compassion on you.”

I shared from Isaiah 55: 8-10 as well encouraging the women to CIRCLE the promises of God literally in their bible or hide the words in their heart, to stand firm, and remain faithful to God.

Then I shared the “City on a Hill” picture the Lord gave me as we drove in that morning.

Unfortunately there was no time between sharing and setting up for the eye clinic.  Truly I did not believe the people would ever stop coming.

                                

Once a person was fitted for reading glasses, they were distributed. It was then they were sent for the sharing of the gospel and prayer. Here is my oldest son John Jay sharing the gospel.

I was paired with Rose, one of the Aggie’s Arts ladies, as an interpreter. She had also interpreted alongside Aggie as I shared earlier with the women. Here we are with my oldest daughter Lawren.

There were two ladies who came together for glasses. I believe God sent them specifically to encourage me, which I was later able to share with the team.

The ladies said we were an answer to prayer and shared with me:

Proverbs 19:17

“One who is gracious to a poor man lends to the Lord,

And will repay him for his good deed.”

They said they had prayed and waited on these glasses and further prayed that God would bless us. They would now be able to see to do their detail work better.  The overwhelming joy for just a small gesture was unbelievable.

My faith has grown to see these people suffer so greatly yet remain so very joyful.

When we stopped the eye clinic, we were able to shop among the Aggie’s Arts ladies.

So it is my desire for you readers to know where our Amanda is going. 

She is going to Banda, a slum area of Kampala, Uganda.

The Light of the World

A City on A Hill Which Cannot be Hidden

So while we covet your prayers for Amanda and her precious family holding the fort down at home, WE KNOW SHE IS IN GOOD HANDS.

Light bearer at home,

Pam

The Power of Life Giving Words

"You is kind. You is smart. You is important",

were the words spoken to the precious child entrusted to the maid in the movie The Help. Unlike the mother, the housekeeper/nannie knew the potential of the child and spoke truth to her daily. Although the grammar may be bad, the power of speaking life into another  human being can be an enormous change factor.

In First John 2:7-14, the apostle as well speaks life affirming words to the believers. In verse 12, the address begins:

"I write to you, dear children, 

because your sins have been forgiven 

on account of His name.

I write you, fathers,

because you have known him who is from the beginning.

I write to you, young men (women),

because you have overcome the evil one.

I write to you, dear children,

because you have known the Father.

I write to you fathers,

because you have known him who is from

the beginning.

I write to you, young men (women),

because you are strong,

and the word of God lives in you,

and you have overcome the evil one."

The more time I spend with the Lord, I am convinced He desires for me to walk victoriously regardless of my circumstances because I have overcome the evil one and am strong because the word of God...a person...Jesus Christ lives in me. (In the beginning was the word. The word was with God and the word was God. He was in the beginning with God. John1:1-2)

I'm not thinking He wants me to push Jesus down anyones throat because He has kindly revealed Himself to me. Yet, I do believe He is looking for me to walk in quiet, confident trust and dependency because He has shown me the truth, even when my emotions have me riding a roller coaster. Fatigue and grief are two that attack me regularly.

What areas might the Father be asking you as well to depend on Him for?

How do the truths of these life giving words in this passage empower you to walk through your present difficulties?

I would love to hear from you!

Love, 

Pam