MomHeart Online Bookclub

This summer I participated in an online book club for the first time ever. As a single working mom with a crazy schedule, it is often challenging to find time to attend bible studies. My motivation for the online study was to have great discussions with both my mom and oldest daughter who read and participated as well.  It was a great experience that met my needs for spiritual accountability but never took me outside my home, caused need for a babysitter, or cost me anything other than the cost of the book.


My time this summer prompted me to think about bringing the MomHeart discussion of Dancing with my Father online as well. Our small group is set to start Friday, September 10 at the Heart of the Valley YMCA on Weatherly Road. We meet weekly from 9-1030 and childcare is available. However, this is not a good fit for working mothers or  home school moms.  Hence, the online discussion. So, here are the specifics.


On Friday, September 10 I will post a short discussion followed by questions, which are in the book. You will read the chapter and answer the questions on your own during the week. The following Friday, you will log onto my blog and post your comments from the questions, read others comments, and hopefully be encouraged in your parenting or grandparenting journey to embrace joy in spite of the circumstances of life. 


What do you need to do if interested:  ORDER YOUR BOOK  Dancing with my Father by Sally Clarkson TODAY FROM EITHER OF THE FOLLOWING SITES: www.wholeheart.org or www.amazon.com 


Please contact me through my blog or facebook and let me know you are planning on participating.

I am broken...

RIVER OF LIFE LESSON: JUST BECAUSE SOMETHING IS BROKEN DOESN'T MEAN IT'S NO GOOD.

My "River of Life Lesson" is borrowed but I am embracing it as a life philosophy because it fits me. From Maggie by Charles Martin, "Just because something is broken doesn't mean it's no good. Doesn't mean you throw it away.  It just means it's broken, and broken is okay. I wanted to tell her that broken is still beautiful, still works, still wakes me in the morning, and at the end of every day past and to come, I can love broken."

I realized recently that I am broken. It wasn't the first time but it was the most aware of my brokenness I have been in a while.  Swallowed by grief, I would daily drive home from work with deafening silence. For months, the ride home had been filled with joyful light-hearted conversation with the love of my life. It was the same routine every day and it never tired. Before I opened my car door to head home, my hands were already dialing his number.  We shared our day together over the phone and planned again to talk at bedtime.

I sincerely did not know what to do with myself without him.  So I cried all the way home every day for months. At times I wondered if people on the Parkway thought I was on drugs or crazy but I didn't care. Grief trumps pride...at least in my book it did.

At one point I was having a conversation simultaneously with both God and the man I loved. I knew God could hear me but I wasn't positive about the other but I didn't care. It made me feel better to talk to him because it had become part of my life...part of who I was.

Finally, I cried out to the Lord. "I know you love me and have my best interest at heart. I know you have my kid's best interest at heart. Although I don't understand why he had to die, I know you know best BUT WHAT IN THE WORLD AM I SUPPOSE TO DO WITH ALL THIS PAIN?" In the quiet, through my tears, the Father spoke. "Pam, all your life all you have done is minimized your pain, made excuses for your pain, and denied your pain. Why don't you, for now, just be a  mess. I don't love you any less."  At that moment I began to let myself off the hook from being some super hero Christian who has it all together and just be broken.

God has used broken people since the beginning of time to carry His message. Think about Moses, David, Jonah, and Paul. We are all broken in some capacity but sometimes the circumstances of life cause a bigger crack than others. But the Father is in the business of mending and reconciliation.  He is making something beautiful out of our mess.

So I am thankful for the reminder from my most recent read that I am broken but I am okay.  Not only am I okay but I am still beautiful, I still work. and I can still be loved.  Mind you when I say I am beautiful, there is no vain idea there. However, I trust that because my heart is occupied by  Christ, He makes me beautiful.

If you have to work, do something you like.

I love my job. River of life lesson: If you have to work, you need to do something you like.  I believe work is not part of the curse. I believe work is an opportunity to enjoy life in a productive way and operate out of the passions the Father has put into each of us.

I happen to work at a place with fantastic food and great people..both co workers and customers. Occasionally there are catering events to work. I have been afforded the privilege of working in homes with  the most breathtaking views of Huntsville, while serving some of the finest food in the most wonderful homes to gracious people who are just glad to have you there.

Yesterday, I worked a board luncheon at a local bank...eleventh floor boardroom with huge glass windows which overlooked our entire city. Here was the menu: roasted pork tenderloin, croissant  tomato cheddar casserole , lima beans, bread, sweet potato pie, and a salad with fresh blueberries, strawberries, blue cheese crumbles and toasted sugared walnuts with balsamic vinaigrette. Whew, that was a lot to type and eat!

We plated too many plates which to my advantage left food for me as the board members cleared out and moved to another room for their meeting. As I cleaned up I enjoyed the extra and considered  writing about that pork.

On Monday, our entree to go at the shop included this same roasted pork tenderloin. As I saw the meat being sliced, I was able to get a small slither from the end. The taste of that meat literally carried me the rest of the day. It was so scrumptious, I was unwilling to taste anything else until dinner for fear of losing that moment with that piece of pork.

I began thinking about how unhealthy pork is for you and that in the Old Testament it was forbidden to eat. My mind raced forward to the wedding banquet which we, as believers, will get to participate in...Yes, there will be food in heaven. I began feeling quite thankful that we live under the New Testament grace of our Lord and are free to eat whatever meat we desire. Understanding, of course, that many things in moderation can be ok.

I really wasn't planning on writing about my pork story until a sweet  young lady came in the shop last night to buy fried chicken for dinner. As I rang her up, she went on and on about the pork entree she had purchased the night before. That was all it took for me. I gave her my five second version of my experience and how I was considering blogging about my divine moment. Because at that moment of intense pleasure, I absolutely thanked the Father for delicious food.

She said, "You absolutely should write about this!" So here you have it. I pray you are enjoying where you work.

How I got to this place.

The journey to MomHeart began some twelve to thirteen years ago. A call to home school our then two young girls was pressing in on my heart. But I fought against it diligently. The only home school family I knew back from back in Kansas was over the top. The mom would stand up in the Sunday morning service pleading for our vote that week for whatever conservative issue was pressing through Congress. She would also meet you at the nursery door and say something like, "Your child has thick green discharge from her nose. The pediatricians are now believing that indicates infection. She should not be with other kids."

As a young believer, in Christ, I took those things personally and felt insecure in my role as a mommy. I did not find her very inviting. I also harbored a judgmental spirit towards her which today I can appreciate as passion. I may be different but I can unconditionally love her as a sister in Christ and appreciate that the Father has simply made her passionate about different things than me.  Did I mention I had gotten pregnant out of wedlock and was a single mom.

Needless to say, my first relationship with a home school family was rocky from the start. RIVER OF LIFE LESSON: DON'T EVER SAY YOU WILL NEVER DO SOMETHING!

Within the next six years my life transformed to almost look identical to the woman at church. There was a call to home school, I was married and  the second child had come. I joined a local support group for preschoolers who were homeschooling called Bright Lights.  We met once a month and shared support and encouragement with other home school moms. One night we had curriculum night and a mother showed up with a laundry basket full of teacher's manuals and workbooks for her kids. All of our children were under six. I had brought a duck washcloth that I used to play with my girls in the tub. I would sing bible verses to my girls with the duck cloth. Needless to say, the confusion and insecurity set in again. But help was a little quicker this time.

I went to bible study the following morning and sat down next to a co leader who home schooled. I said, "I thought this was supposed to be fun!?" and proceeded to tell her about my previous evening's experience. She said "Pam, you need to read Educating the Wholehearted Child"

Fast forward eleven years...I have read every book by the Clarkson family and have adopted their philosophy for child training and educating. Although I am now a single working mother and have three children in public school, I still attend mother conferences every year and currently lead a MomHeart discipleship group for mothers at the local YMCA.  Hence, how I got to where I am.  If anyone is interested in attending MomHeart, feel free to contact me. We begin meeting Sept 10. Enjoy the  video below as a sample of what our book study will be:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZlCcVq-Dxs

Life's Lessons: It Pays to Wait and Ask Questions

Today is day one of the blogging world for Pam.  May this  be a place to share my heart with the stories of my life that in turn  encourage you in your own journey. More vital, may my stories inspire you to tell your own stories. Finally, may all our stories forever point to our place in history (HIS STORY). After all my stories pale in comparison to the stories of my Creator.

A life philosophy I have embraced is that it pays to wait and it pays to ask questions.  I have a story to tell....several Christmases ago I received a gift card from the local Christian book store, a favorite place of mine to shop at the time. Around the same time I received a coupon in the mail for an additional amount off. I also had a gift to return so I was excited about combining my monies and coupon for something special I was sure to find. Some how I had managed to get some free time. That alone is most often a story in itself. Being a single mom of five kids presents challenges for alone time.

Regardless, I was alone and took off on a Saturday evening rushing before the store closed at eight.  I already had my items picked out and proceeded to the counter only to find out that my coupon was not good until the following week. Furthermore, the item I was returning could not be issued as a credit because it was put on my mother's debit card. The store would first have to issue her a credit on her account.  Needless to say, I was frustrated that things weren't going as I had planned. So, I put my items back in their place and left the store around 7:45.


Have I mentioned there were only ONE of each item I chose. There was no way they could be there on Monday or could they? The store was closed on Sunday. If I could be back up there at opening time Monday morning, I might get my goodies. My mind immediately began calculating the opportunity costs of another trip. From gas to missed lessons with the kids, etc., my mind had it all worked out but still I ran the entire idea by my  best friends in life group on Sunday night. They greatly encouraged me to "go for it" on Monday.

I took the trip up on Monday and to my surprise not only was the coupon honored but every item had been reduced to 75% off. Several of my most precious Christmas decorations came from that one year when "it paid to wait". 

I am happy to say today I would not give near the pressure to what I should or shouldn't do. I am in a better place to know the Father wants me to have good things. He is for me and if it is in His plan, they will be there, He will make a way for me to have them. If not, He will send something better. But, even then, in spite of my fretting, I was blessed immeasurably with tangible expressions that help me to celebrate this story as well as the Christmas story each year.

Now, as far as asking questions go, I have embraced the life philosophy  that the worse thing anyone can tell you is "no". So, I ask alot of questions. Friday was payday. I had wanted to stop at this giftshop near work for two weeks but found myself constantly rushing to and from work. On Friday, I made the time to go in for a flag for my yard. A customer at work told me they were all on sale. I found my flag but what really caught my eye were two plaques with distressed painting. I am going to try and put a picture of them on here for you but the caption read on one.."

                                          "  DARING...STARTS FROM WITHIN"

and the other read...

                               "COURAGE....IS THE POWER TO LET GO OF THE FAMILIAR"

Each panel had a price tag out of my spending range but I WANTED THEM. My kids are about to all change rooms when my oldest daughter Lawren leaves for Berlin next month...but that's another story for another post.

I am always looking for ways to inspire my kids even through decor so I thought this would be a hit for my boys room. So, I mentioned my interest to the sales lady. I also asked her to come down to the shop where I work and tell me if they ever went on sale because I would get them. Right then and there she offered them to me for 50% off...said she was trying to move merchandise and was not going to carry their stuff any longer because they charged too much for shipping. I kid you not. All I did was ask.