A few months ago I was asked to be a part of momheart.org, an online community of authors who share a like minds for their families and a heart for God. Each month has been a blessing as I get the opportunity to share my life with other moms I will one day worship with in heaven.
Today is "my day" to share....so please join me as we ponder the legacy we leave for our families at momheart.org
Love, Pam
Friday, 18 May 2012
Sunday, 13 May 2012
Today will be hard for many...
The Father laid a story on my heart late last night. That's usually how my blog works. I can't seem to produce daily posts of inspiration, biblical instruction or encouragement. Most days I am in survival mode regardless of the truth that I am surviving with peace and joy.
Then the Lord gives me an experience that reaches way down into my soul and stirs the pot of emotion. The story wells up inside me and is poured out here in hopes of bringing healing, redemption, and truth into the lives of my reader.
Today the story is for moms....ones I am close to...ones I am in the process of befriending...ones the Father is yet to cross my paths with...every mom.
Today...Mother's Day....will be hard for many of you.
You might find today hard because your mother is no longer living and you miss her presence...the daily phone calls, the visits.
Or another might find today hard because she has not heard from her mother in years although she lives less than forty minutes away. The mother can't seem to overcome her past and break the strongholds present in her life. So, as my mom friends lives life here with her husband and two children without the presence of a grandmother, the loss is big and wide and deep.
One mom who married at fifteen and began her journey as a mom, now raising her grandchildren, most likely won't hear from her daughters today. Addictions, anger, and bitterness will prevent them from honoring their mother in spite of their own tangled up childhood.
What about the mom in Wal-Mart on Friday who was noticed by one of my dearest friends as well as security. My friend shared the story of how she noticed the woman as she came in and saw security following her. The two met again in the garden center and my friend confronted her telling her that she was being watched. The woman fell apart and shared openly how DHR had taken her three kids from her.
And finally, more commonly, are my friends who will struggle today as we celebrate to honor moms because their moms are still falling short of their expectations as a mom. My friends who have deep rooted emotional needs that went unmet as a child who now continue to experience pain because their moms are just not in a place yet to be a need meeter for them.
These moms will make some effort, out of obligation and tradition, to buy a plant or card and maybe even share lunch with their mom today. But their hearts will remain hurt because their expectations remain high and their pain has not healed from past hurts.
Some both daughters, who are moms, and their moms remain in complete denial that anything is wrong at all and live life with knee-jerk responses to situations because they have yet to come to terms with their own messes.
Every mom has a story AND THEIR MOM HAS HER OWN STORY. It is my heart's desire in my life and community to know the hearts of moms the Father surrounds me with. Here's why:
The entire cannon of scripture is a love story of redemption. You ever wonder why women are drawn to love stories....we desire to be desired. The Bible from Genesis to Revelation is a complete love story of the Creator of the Universe calling His people to Himself....they continuously pull away even often rebelling against Him only to find misery....and, prayerfully, returning to their first love finding a life of abundance. It is our story today...He desires us
"I have loved you with an everlasting love" Jeremiah 31:3...He made you and He loves you!
"Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed, says the Lord, who has compassion on you." Isaiah 54:10 No matter what happens in our lives, God's love for us cannot be shaken.
"Woe to them because they have strayed from me...rebelled against me! I long to redeem them" Hosea 7:13. He wanted to buy us back (redeem us) all through the Old Testament and HE DID....we just celebrated that on Easter Sunday...remember? Jesus, died to buy us back to Himself SO WE COULD BE FREE.
Yet, often we reject these truths. In our stubbornness, pride, bitterness and resentment, we can stay away for generations...blaming, criticizing, even slandering one another. Today will be hard for these moms.
I want every woman I ever meet, especially moms, to know they are beautiful and powerful because they are created in the image of God...thereby having a deposit in their life bank of His goodness, love, and mercy, that each mom GETS to extend to others.
Kay Warren says it like this in her book, Dangerous Surrender:
"God is the only one who can enter into the caves of your inmost being and not be terrified or repulsed by what He sees. He was the only one who knew all along how wounded and broken I was on the inside. He was the only one who could meet me there with forgiveness, mercy, and healing. God saw all the garbage--the shameful thoughts and behavior, the secret guilt and shame-that was ripping me up. But God in his massive, almost unfathomable mercy looked deep within me and said, "I love you...I know it all...and I still love you." He says the same to you.
"I KNOW IT ALL, AND I STILL LOVE YOU."
May you walk in this truth this Mother's Day. I would love for you to share your story with me here on in person anytime.
Love, Pam
Wednesday, 18 April 2012
Simple pleasures revisited
I think I once shared with you my answer to the then challenging question of....name three simple pleasures.... things that don't cost anything but when afforded you, bring great delight. I now know these pleasures as to produce a heart of thanksgiving in me as well.
My first simple pleasure is crossing the bridge daily to come home from wherever I've been..... be it work, Mom Heart, or the YMCA. When I cross that bridge over the muddy waters of the Tennessee River the tension starts ebbing down from my shoulders into my lower back and releases from my physical body.
It doesn't matter that reckless kids are waiting on me or ball practices or supper to cook....everything is better at home. The picture above was taken yesterday. It was an afterthought. And this writing did not warrant me turning around to get the full view of coming into home. No, I was not willing to go back...I was too close to home...didn't want that stress creeping back up.
I am learning that simple pleasures provide opportunity to say thanks to God for His many gifts. Our Friday Mom Heart group is finishing up One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. I am learning "Eucharisteo"...the giving of thanks. Packed into that one word is the Greek word for JOY, GRACE, AND THANKSGIVING. I am further learning that eucharisteo, or the giving of thanks, always precedes the miracle.
So, in essence, I cross the bridge...my simple pleasure...I give thanks to God...I am graceful and joyful.
Here are some other beautiful pictures of eucharisteo....
But today I am most thankful for the Father's love for me...how He knows the desires of my heart. Because I delight in Him, He gives me those desires. Yesterday was Thomas' tenth birthday. My baby is double digits! I had no money for dinner, three children going in three different directions for ball games, and faced the possibility of working later than usual. I just kept giving it all over to the Lord...He knew how much I wanted to make the evening special for Thomas. I just kept thanking Him even for the difficult place I was in.
So, unexpectedly, my brother shared the rent money from property down the street, my oldest daughter Lawren came by work, got the money, the grocery list and the menu, AND ALL BALL GAMES WERE CANCELLED. Finally, I only had to work about 30 minutes over!!! Last but not least...Thomas called on the way home and ask for a bbq chicken pizza to go with the spaghetti sissy was making....."You know Mom...it's special for my birthday."
With thanksgiving again, I delivered a gift basket on the way home from work. The extra $10 delivery fee paid for his pizza. When we prayed over Thomas at dinner, I thanked God for rearranging our schedules, and bringing rain so we could all be together.
What are you thankful for and what miracles are you experiencing as a result of your thanksgiving? I would love to hear from you!
My first simple pleasure is crossing the bridge daily to come home from wherever I've been..... be it work, Mom Heart, or the YMCA. When I cross that bridge over the muddy waters of the Tennessee River the tension starts ebbing down from my shoulders into my lower back and releases from my physical body.
 |
| I KNOW I AM ALMOST HOME |
It doesn't matter that reckless kids are waiting on me or ball practices or supper to cook....everything is better at home. The picture above was taken yesterday. It was an afterthought. And this writing did not warrant me turning around to get the full view of coming into home. No, I was not willing to go back...I was too close to home...didn't want that stress creeping back up.
I am learning that simple pleasures provide opportunity to say thanks to God for His many gifts. Our Friday Mom Heart group is finishing up One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. I am learning "Eucharisteo"...the giving of thanks. Packed into that one word is the Greek word for JOY, GRACE, AND THANKSGIVING. I am further learning that eucharisteo, or the giving of thanks, always precedes the miracle.
So, in essence, I cross the bridge...my simple pleasure...I give thanks to God...I am graceful and joyful.
Here are some other beautiful pictures of eucharisteo....
E
Easter Morning Breakfast
 | ||||
| My joyful Hannah Rosie leaving a game the only way she knows how! |
 |
| The baby...always bringing laughter |
So, unexpectedly, my brother shared the rent money from property down the street, my oldest daughter Lawren came by work, got the money, the grocery list and the menu, AND ALL BALL GAMES WERE CANCELLED. Finally, I only had to work about 30 minutes over!!! Last but not least...Thomas called on the way home and ask for a bbq chicken pizza to go with the spaghetti sissy was making....."You know Mom...it's special for my birthday."
With thanksgiving again, I delivered a gift basket on the way home from work. The extra $10 delivery fee paid for his pizza. When we prayed over Thomas at dinner, I thanked God for rearranging our schedules, and bringing rain so we could all be together.
What are you thankful for and what miracles are you experiencing as a result of your thanksgiving? I would love to hear from you!
Wednesday, 28 March 2012
Two years later...it's easier to breathe
Yesterday marked the two year anniversary of the tragic death of the man I loved.
In the beginning there were days that I did not think I could breathe.
Physiologically, there was something in my body that would go off around 2:30 every afternoon when our daily phone call after my work shift occurred.
For almost a year, around the 27th of each month, again my body responded physically to the ongoing loss.
I often wondered how I would commemorate each year after his leaving this world.
Last March 27th I was in Dalton, Georgia's hospital loving on my Mary Catherine, who incurred an extreme injury the day before playing softball. As I ushered in a year of loss, MC laid in pain from a torn spleen, bruised kidney, and a pneumothorax, a small tear in her lung. I know.... right.
At day's end, as I pondered my state, I knew I was honoring my memory in the best way...loving on my kids. It would have been right where he would have me were he still here.
This year I am more hopeful than ever and breathing not only easier but deeper as the Father continues to fill my soul with His love and goodness. Yesterday, I tried to slow down to reflect almost feeling guilty for feeling such joy.
But the truth is God is healing me, growing me, and expanding my borders.
So, after a long day at work, I ushered in year two watching my tall-man John Jay hit the winning run in to win last night's baseball game.
What I am learning is that love multiplies. Spiritually, I remain connected to my lost love here on earth as he continues to cheer me on from heaven....I am constantly surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses. He continues to be my number one fan and greatest encourager.
Although he is not here physically, my experience two years ago has afforded me deep and meaningful friendships with people so dear to my love. I have gained mommas and children to love on in His physical absence to honor him and our shared time well.
Furthermore, because our time together was truly a time when God taught me about His incredible love for me, it has filled my soul in such a way that it bursts to be poured out onto others. So...what has that looked like?
Well, it has included Mom Heart small groups, weekly and monthly, Christmas outreaches with the local YMCA afterschool care program, local retreats and national conferences.
But that's not all...
There are two enormous opportunities in front of me...all a result of loving, being loved, and going deeper into the love of God.
First, a Mom Heart launch is on the horizon this fall at our local elementary school. There will be potential opportunity to push back the darkness in our community by loving on moms and their children through children's literature, and gospel storytelling.
And finally, on a larger note, which I still can't get my head or heart wrapped around...and I not sure I ever will...
I will travel this August, alongside, two of my children...Lawren, my firstborn daughter, and John Jay, my firstborn son. We will be serving in Kampala, Uganda as well as Kisoro where our church sponsors 40 children to attend schools in the area.
My arena of ministry appears to be speaking to moms on the biblical design of motherhood to three churches in the Kisoro area.
So, today, two years later I must feel like John, the disciple did, when he wrote, "Jesus did many other things as well. If every one of them were written down, I suppose that even the whole world would not have room for the books that would be written."
How is He stretching your heart today to love more deeply and fully. I would love to hear from you!
In the beginning there were days that I did not think I could breathe.
Physiologically, there was something in my body that would go off around 2:30 every afternoon when our daily phone call after my work shift occurred.
For almost a year, around the 27th of each month, again my body responded physically to the ongoing loss.
I often wondered how I would commemorate each year after his leaving this world.
Last March 27th I was in Dalton, Georgia's hospital loving on my Mary Catherine, who incurred an extreme injury the day before playing softball. As I ushered in a year of loss, MC laid in pain from a torn spleen, bruised kidney, and a pneumothorax, a small tear in her lung. I know.... right.
At day's end, as I pondered my state, I knew I was honoring my memory in the best way...loving on my kids. It would have been right where he would have me were he still here.
This year I am more hopeful than ever and breathing not only easier but deeper as the Father continues to fill my soul with His love and goodness. Yesterday, I tried to slow down to reflect almost feeling guilty for feeling such joy.
But the truth is God is healing me, growing me, and expanding my borders.
So, after a long day at work, I ushered in year two watching my tall-man John Jay hit the winning run in to win last night's baseball game.
What I am learning is that love multiplies. Spiritually, I remain connected to my lost love here on earth as he continues to cheer me on from heaven....I am constantly surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses. He continues to be my number one fan and greatest encourager.
Furthermore, because our time together was truly a time when God taught me about His incredible love for me, it has filled my soul in such a way that it bursts to be poured out onto others. So...what has that looked like?
But that's not all...
There are two enormous opportunities in front of me...all a result of loving, being loved, and going deeper into the love of God.
First, a Mom Heart launch is on the horizon this fall at our local elementary school. There will be potential opportunity to push back the darkness in our community by loving on moms and their children through children's literature, and gospel storytelling.
And finally, on a larger note, which I still can't get my head or heart wrapped around...and I not sure I ever will...
I will travel this August, alongside, two of my children...Lawren, my firstborn daughter, and John Jay, my firstborn son. We will be serving in Kampala, Uganda as well as Kisoro where our church sponsors 40 children to attend schools in the area.
My arena of ministry appears to be speaking to moms on the biblical design of motherhood to three churches in the Kisoro area.
So, today, two years later I must feel like John, the disciple did, when he wrote, "Jesus did many other things as well. If every one of them were written down, I suppose that even the whole world would not have room for the books that would be written."
How is He stretching your heart today to love more deeply and fully. I would love to hear from you!
Thursday, 22 March 2012
Come and Share Your Master's Happiness
This past weekend nineteen beautiful women gathered around Lake Guntersville in North Alabama to celebrate motherhood at our very first Mom Heart retreat. The weekend was a culmination of the previous twelve years of my discipleship and recent training under speaker and author Sally Clarkson.
It was twelve years ago when there were three children under the age of six when I was introduced to Educating the Wholehearted Child by Clay and Sally Clarkson. Little did I know there were to be two more children added to our nest in less than four years.
Thank goodness the Father afforded me the opportunities to regularly attend annual Mom Heart conferences where the training, inspiration, and discipleship method of parenting was instilled and modeled by the Clarkson family.
Having been raised in a broken home, I longed for something solid to ground myself and my family. The banner of Christ along with the nature and character of God has been the driving force of Mom Heart conferences as we have embraced the biblical design of motherhood given to us by God.
Over the past twelve years as I practiced this method of discipleship and put into place certain elements in our family, I am seeing the fruit of my labor as I celebrate each unique season of my individual children's lives.
This past weekend I was able to, in turn, pass on some of these methods to a group of moms hungry as well to reach the hearts of their children. But I forgot to tell them something...
I forgot to tell them that on Sunday when we departed our spiritual mountain top experience beside the lake that they were entering back into the trenches of nothing less than warfare. I have had three of my gals calling in tears because it's just so hard...so hard to be in a broken marriage, so hard to deal with the spiritual training and development of our children when they are angry and rebellious. One woman even called me about another friend who needs to be encouraged and has no one to talk to.
So, today, I am so thankful for Mom Heart online, another resource to help us as we journey together to weather the storms of life. It is an honor to be considered a contributor to this powerful tool to encourage women. Thank you Father.
It was twelve years ago when there were three children under the age of six when I was introduced to Educating the Wholehearted Child by Clay and Sally Clarkson. Little did I know there were to be two more children added to our nest in less than four years.
Thank goodness the Father afforded me the opportunities to regularly attend annual Mom Heart conferences where the training, inspiration, and discipleship method of parenting was instilled and modeled by the Clarkson family.
Having been raised in a broken home, I longed for something solid to ground myself and my family. The banner of Christ along with the nature and character of God has been the driving force of Mom Heart conferences as we have embraced the biblical design of motherhood given to us by God.
Over the past twelve years as I practiced this method of discipleship and put into place certain elements in our family, I am seeing the fruit of my labor as I celebrate each unique season of my individual children's lives.
This past weekend I was able to, in turn, pass on some of these methods to a group of moms hungry as well to reach the hearts of their children. But I forgot to tell them something...
I forgot to tell them that on Sunday when we departed our spiritual mountain top experience beside the lake that they were entering back into the trenches of nothing less than warfare. I have had three of my gals calling in tears because it's just so hard...so hard to be in a broken marriage, so hard to deal with the spiritual training and development of our children when they are angry and rebellious. One woman even called me about another friend who needs to be encouraged and has no one to talk to.
So, today, I am so thankful for Mom Heart online, another resource to help us as we journey together to weather the storms of life. It is an honor to be considered a contributor to this powerful tool to encourage women. Thank you Father.
Why is it worth your valuable time to spend time here.
Mom Heart Online
is spiritual harbor. We’re here not just to bring you in to stay, but
also to send you out to sail. We are a place any mom can come to be
encouraged, equipped, and enabled as a mother after God’s heart. We are
here to inspire and engage your heart with great content that calls you
to a high vision for your life as a mother, to create an online
community of moms where you can network and interact with others who
share your heart, to train you how to easily start and lead your own Mom
Heart Group to continue in life what you find online, and to provide
quality and original materials and resources that will fill your heart
and mind with life-changing wisdom and truth.
Please take a moment to visit TODAY the brand new Mom Heart website. Also, the button on the right side of my blog will take you directly to the source of
encouragement which has inspired me over the past twelve years.
You can also find us on twitter and facebook.
Matthew 25:21 "His master replied, Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful for a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!"
This is my heart after this past weekend. I felt the Father saying, "Pam, you have been faithful with the children I entrusted to you, and now I am giving you more...these beautiful hearts of these women. Pass on my greatness to them. Love them. Care for them."
My gut level emotional response...."But Master, I am afraid"
Yet, my heart with overwhelming joy says, "May it be to me as you have said."
Who will you disciple? Who is the Father continuously bringing into your path that you can share the secrets of the kingdom of God. Your willing heart can be difference in the heart and life of a precious mom and child.
Finally, for the freebie....visit wholeheart.org to find the book by Sally you are most interested in reading to grow in your journey as a mother. Leave a comment below or on my facebook page. I will announce the winner and book title on Monday.
You can also find us on twitter and facebook.
Matthew 25:21 "His master replied, Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful for a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!"
This is my heart after this past weekend. I felt the Father saying, "Pam, you have been faithful with the children I entrusted to you, and now I am giving you more...these beautiful hearts of these women. Pass on my greatness to them. Love them. Care for them."
My gut level emotional response...."But Master, I am afraid"
Yet, my heart with overwhelming joy says, "May it be to me as you have said."
Who will you disciple? Who is the Father continuously bringing into your path that you can share the secrets of the kingdom of God. Your willing heart can be difference in the heart and life of a precious mom and child.
Finally, for the freebie....visit wholeheart.org to find the book by Sally you are most interested in reading to grow in your journey as a mother. Leave a comment below or on my facebook page. I will announce the winner and book title on Monday.
Monday, 20 February 2012
What I Shared at the Momheart Conference
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| Dallas Momheart Conference 2012 |
After thirteen years of attending Wholeheart Ministries conferences for moms, I returned to Dallas this past weekend for a time of inspiration and fellowship with 800 other like minded moms. The beautiful part was that God went ahead of me and brought other single moms to the conference who encouraged me. It has been so challenging attending as the only single mom for so many years.
I was to prepare a 5 minute talk to answer the following question on Friday. "Pam, share some of the struggles you have had as a single parent." Here was my response:
"You know recently, I find myself coining the phrase, 'I never knew it would be so hard but I never knew it could be so good.' I've been able to identify different seasons of my parenting journey even prior to the onset of working outside the home. Each season had unique challenges; yet I've seen the faithfulness of God in each arena.
For example, during the early years when there were five under the age of ten, life felt very overwhelming. I had a newborn, two and four year old, while trying to homeschool my eight and ten year old daughters.
Some days it felt as though I never left the rocking chair. The demands of so many young children, along with severe financial strain, produced many days of tears and frustrations. Yet, God met me in the midst of those desperate feelings. One day, tearfully, I was sitting in that same rocker looking through my living room windows out across the river when God made Psalm 121:1 come alive to me. 'I lift my eyes unto the hills, where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth.'
Later that same day, as my dear friend Pat and I took off with our older daughters to missions camp, I had hurriedly grabbed the mail on the way out the door. As we stopped for lunch, I opened a birthday card that had come for me. Inside the card, from my college roommate was $40...money to help with our weekend...the very item which had so troubled me earlier from the rocking chair when I cried out to the Lord.
The second season I call the middle years with three primary grade kids and two middle school girls. I was walking through an abusive marriage, an absent spouse which left me feeling like a single parent, homeschooling five kids, lack of financial support, and my sweet Aunt Peg, who brought me to my first conference here in Dallas 13 years ago, was dying with bone cancer.
It was during that difficult season my sweet friend Laura sat on my kitchen bench and said "just hang on" and left me with Matthew 6:34 'Sufficient are the worries unto today tomorrow has enough of its own' and my paraphrase of 2 Cor 3:18 'we are being transformed from glory to glory.' This verse became very important for me to heal and forgive as my marriage was ending. It helped me accept those that hurt us the most trusting God with the outcome.
Finally, this third quarter season of my life with preteens, teens, and young adults in the home has proved equally challenging and equally blessed. I now have a 19 yr old daughter who is presently in Africa on a missions trip and serves as missions intern for our church, a 17 year old daughter who is a homeschooled senior and plans to enter college this fall possibly playing college softball, and three public school children...a seventh grade 6'2" son, a fifth grade daughter and fourth grade son all while I am working 26 hours a week outside the home.
The reality of parenting teens and young adults has been more draining emotionally, physically, and spiritually than I could have imagined. These relationships require alot of late night talks and the welcoming of college students into my home as they question the hard things in life and I get to listen and point them to the sufficiency of Christ. Most days I am completely exhausted but thoroughly exhilarated as I ponder the grace afforded me to speak into the lives of the next generation.
It is the time that Isaiah 55: 8-12 has meant the most to me..knowing the truth of God's word will not return void. All of His promises that have sustained me throughout the various seasons of parenting..like Hebrews 13:5 'I will never leave you or forsake you' and the Phillipians passage 'he who began a good work in each of my children will see it through to completion.'
In looking back over these seasons of life it seems three principles have strengthened my journey:
First, community...walking intimately with others who continually point me to Christ
Second, bible study...whether it's a structured program or meditating on one verse for a whole week.
and finally..these two elements produced the third principle..which is worship.
As the Father reveals Himself to me through His body and His word, my life and heart respond in worship.
I believe these principles will strengthen your mom journey as well. It is my prayer for each of you!
Wednesday, 7 December 2011
A saga followed by a litany of praise....
Last night the Christmas tree fell. I was in one of those deep sleep times that come only rarely. My heavy heart welcomed the rest. So, when I am awakened by a combination of water pouring all over the living room floor and the crash of the tree, my heart picks right back up on the sadness and feelings of despair.
I am only worried about the fragile hand painted egg ornament given to me by my bible study leader eleven years ago when Hannah was born as a babygift. In the most delicate artistry, painted is a baby in a cradle with a beautiful array of color and the scripting from Matthew...let the little children come to me...Hannah's First Christmas 2000. It is the only ornament every year that gets its own special box and tissue paper. My prayer is that Hannah can always have her egg as a keepsake. Lawren, my 19 yr old, who has been awakened as well, finds the egg resting sweetly in a chair atop of a pile of unfolded laundry.
We have mice....and not Christmas mice...at least two of them...one that hangs out in the kitchen area and another that stays in the back of the house. It is so bad that the bedroom mouse made a nest in my son's dresser drawer and ate a hole in his Ocean City, Maryland lifeguard shirt. The critter had to pick a fave shirt:(
I pay Cooks $31 a month for pest control. That's $372 a year on a single mom's budget. I don't feel as though this fee should require I scout out mice poison from Wal-Mart and I do not care for cats. So today I will call Cooks AGAIN but I will most likely stop for pellets because I am feeling so desperate in general and need to be rid of the mice. The story about them being friends with Hannah's hampster Squirt just isn't washing anymore.
I had to work a twelve hour day yesterday after a ten hour day on Monday. I am tired.
Forgot to mention the dishwasher leaks...in a family of six that is crisis overload. We eat alot and often. The struggle to be green sets in and I refuse to purchase paperplates but the kids are not stepping up to help wash dishes, saying, "that's not my chore". I try to talk to them about honor and consideration and they look at me like I am an alien. TODAY I FEEL LIKE AN ALIEN...A NON VISIBLE WOMAN who feels completely alone.
Oh yeah, and one of my closest friends has recently moved to Arizona...ARIZONA for goodness sake...across the country. She is the one whose shoulder I cry on over coffee, the one just one step ahead of me in parenting and grace who listens, cries too, and encourages me. AND NOW SHE IS NOT HERE.
I am sure these are issues that shepherd boy/King/man after God's own heart David never dealt with. He was too busy running from enemies, sleeping in fields, fighting his battles and leading his men.
Yet, the emotional gamut that runs through our souls as we walk through life parallel each other.
May I, like David, finish the day in praise:
Litany of Praise (based on David's Psalm 105)
How great is my God, and how I love to sing His praises.
Whereas I am often frightened when I think about my future, and confused and disturbed by the rapidly changing events about me,
My heart is secured and made glad when I remember how He has cared for me throughout the past.
When I was brought forth from my mother's womb,
God's hand was upon me.
Through parents and people who cared,
He loved me and sheltered me and set me upon His course for my life.
Through illness and accident
My God has sustained me.
Around pitfalls and precipices
He has safely led me.
When I became rebellious an struck out on my own,
He waited patiently for me to return.
When I fell on my face in weakness and failure,
He gently set me upon my feet again.
He did not always prevent me from hurting myself,
but He took me back to heal my wounds.
Even out of the broken pieces of my defeats,
He created a vessel of beauty and usefulness.
Through trials and errors, failures and successes, my God has cared for me.
From infancy to adulthood He has never let me go.
His love has led me, or followed me, through the valleys or sorrow and the highlands of joy,
Through times of want and years of abundance.
He has bridged impassable rivers and moved impossible mountains. Sometimes through me, sometimes in spite of me.
He seeks to accomplish His purpose in my life.
He has kept me through the stormy past.
He will secure and guide me through the perilous future.
I need never be afraid.
No matter how uncertain the months or years ahead of me.
How great is My God, and how I love to sing His praises
I am only worried about the fragile hand painted egg ornament given to me by my bible study leader eleven years ago when Hannah was born as a babygift. In the most delicate artistry, painted is a baby in a cradle with a beautiful array of color and the scripting from Matthew...let the little children come to me...Hannah's First Christmas 2000. It is the only ornament every year that gets its own special box and tissue paper. My prayer is that Hannah can always have her egg as a keepsake. Lawren, my 19 yr old, who has been awakened as well, finds the egg resting sweetly in a chair atop of a pile of unfolded laundry.
We have mice....and not Christmas mice...at least two of them...one that hangs out in the kitchen area and another that stays in the back of the house. It is so bad that the bedroom mouse made a nest in my son's dresser drawer and ate a hole in his Ocean City, Maryland lifeguard shirt. The critter had to pick a fave shirt:(
I pay Cooks $31 a month for pest control. That's $372 a year on a single mom's budget. I don't feel as though this fee should require I scout out mice poison from Wal-Mart and I do not care for cats. So today I will call Cooks AGAIN but I will most likely stop for pellets because I am feeling so desperate in general and need to be rid of the mice. The story about them being friends with Hannah's hampster Squirt just isn't washing anymore.
I had to work a twelve hour day yesterday after a ten hour day on Monday. I am tired.
Forgot to mention the dishwasher leaks...in a family of six that is crisis overload. We eat alot and often. The struggle to be green sets in and I refuse to purchase paperplates but the kids are not stepping up to help wash dishes, saying, "that's not my chore". I try to talk to them about honor and consideration and they look at me like I am an alien. TODAY I FEEL LIKE AN ALIEN...A NON VISIBLE WOMAN who feels completely alone.
Oh yeah, and one of my closest friends has recently moved to Arizona...ARIZONA for goodness sake...across the country. She is the one whose shoulder I cry on over coffee, the one just one step ahead of me in parenting and grace who listens, cries too, and encourages me. AND NOW SHE IS NOT HERE.
I am sure these are issues that shepherd boy/King/man after God's own heart David never dealt with. He was too busy running from enemies, sleeping in fields, fighting his battles and leading his men.
Yet, the emotional gamut that runs through our souls as we walk through life parallel each other.
May I, like David, finish the day in praise:
Litany of Praise (based on David's Psalm 105)
How great is my God, and how I love to sing His praises.
Whereas I am often frightened when I think about my future, and confused and disturbed by the rapidly changing events about me,
My heart is secured and made glad when I remember how He has cared for me throughout the past.
When I was brought forth from my mother's womb,
God's hand was upon me.
Through parents and people who cared,
He loved me and sheltered me and set me upon His course for my life.
Through illness and accident
My God has sustained me.
Around pitfalls and precipices
He has safely led me.
When I became rebellious an struck out on my own,
He waited patiently for me to return.
When I fell on my face in weakness and failure,
He gently set me upon my feet again.
He did not always prevent me from hurting myself,
but He took me back to heal my wounds.
Even out of the broken pieces of my defeats,
He created a vessel of beauty and usefulness.
Through trials and errors, failures and successes, my God has cared for me.
From infancy to adulthood He has never let me go.
His love has led me, or followed me, through the valleys or sorrow and the highlands of joy,
Through times of want and years of abundance.
He has bridged impassable rivers and moved impossible mountains. Sometimes through me, sometimes in spite of me.
He seeks to accomplish His purpose in my life.
He has kept me through the stormy past.
He will secure and guide me through the perilous future.
I need never be afraid.
No matter how uncertain the months or years ahead of me.
How great is My God, and how I love to sing His praises
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