Two years later...it's easier to breathe

Yesterday marked the two year anniversary of the tragic death of the man I loved. 

In the beginning there were days that I did not think I could breathe.

Physiologically, there was something in my body that would go off around 2:30 every afternoon when our daily phone call after my work shift occurred.

For almost a year, around the 27th of each month, again my body responded physically to the ongoing loss.

I often wondered how I would commemorate each year after his leaving this world.

Last March 27th I was in Dalton, Georgia's hospital loving on my Mary Catherine, who incurred an extreme injury the day before playing softball. As I ushered in a year of loss, MC laid in pain from a torn spleen, bruised kidney, and a pneumothorax, a small tear in her lung. I know.... right.

At day's end, as I pondered my state, I knew I was honoring my memory in the best way...loving on my  kids. It would have been right where he would have me were he still here.

This year I am more hopeful than ever and breathing not only easier but deeper as the Father continues to fill my soul with His love and goodness. Yesterday, I tried to slow down to reflect almost feeling guilty for feeling such joy.

But the truth is God is healing me, growing me, and expanding my borders.

 So, after a long day at work, I  ushered in year two watching my tall-man John Jay hit the winning run in to win last night's baseball game.

What I am learning is that love multiplies. Spiritually, I remain connected to my lost love here on earth as he continues to cheer me on from heaven....I am constantly surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses. He continues to be my number one fan and greatest encourager.

Although he is not here physically, my experience two years ago has afforded me deep and meaningful friendships with people so dear to my love. I have gained mommas and children to love on in His physical absence to honor him and our shared time well.

Furthermore, because our time together was truly a time when God taught me about His incredible love for me, it has filled my soul in such a way that it bursts to be poured out onto others. So...what has that looked like?

Well, it has included Mom Heart small groups, weekly and monthly, Christmas outreaches with the local YMCA afterschool care program, local retreats and national conferences.
But that's not all...

There are two enormous opportunities in front of me...all a result of loving, being loved, and going deeper into the love of God.

First, a Mom Heart launch is on the horizon this fall at our local elementary school. There will be potential opportunity to push back the darkness in our community by loving on moms and their children through children's literature, and gospel storytelling.

And finally, on a larger note, which I still can't get my head or heart wrapped around...and I not sure I ever will...

I will travel this August, alongside, two of my children...Lawren, my firstborn daughter, and John Jay, my firstborn son. We will be serving in Kampala, Uganda as well as Kisoro where our church sponsors 40 children to attend schools in the area.

My arena of ministry appears to be speaking to moms on the biblical design of motherhood to three churches in the Kisoro area.

So, today, two years later I must feel like John, the disciple did, when he wrote, "Jesus did many other things as well. If every one of them were written down, I suppose that even the whole world would not have room for the books that would be written."

How is He stretching your heart today to love more deeply and fully. I would love to hear from you!

Come and Share Your Master's Happiness

This past weekend nineteen beautiful women gathered around  Lake Guntersville in North Alabama to celebrate motherhood at our very first Mom Heart retreat. The weekend was a culmination of the previous twelve years of my discipleship and recent training under speaker and author Sally Clarkson.

It was twelve years ago when there were three children under the age of six when I was introduced to Educating the Wholehearted Child by Clay and Sally Clarkson. Little did I know there were to be two more children added to our nest in less than four years.

Thank goodness the Father afforded me the opportunities to regularly attend annual Mom Heart conferences where the training, inspiration, and discipleship  method of parenting was instilled and modeled by the Clarkson family.

Having been raised in a broken home, I longed for something solid to ground myself and my family. The banner of Christ along with the nature and character of God has been the driving force of Mom Heart conferences as we have embraced  the biblical design of motherhood given to us by God.

Over the past twelve years as I practiced this method of discipleship and put into place certain elements in our family, I am seeing the fruit of my labor as I celebrate each unique season of my individual children's lives.

This past weekend I was able to, in turn, pass on some of these methods to a group of moms hungry as well to reach the hearts of their children. But I forgot to tell them something...

I forgot to tell them that on Sunday when we departed our spiritual mountain top experience beside the lake that they were entering back into the trenches of nothing less than warfare. I have had three of my gals calling in tears because it's just so hard...so hard to be in a broken marriage, so hard to deal with the spiritual training and development of our children when they are angry and rebellious. One woman even called me about another friend who needs to be encouraged and has no one to talk to.

So, today, I am so thankful for Mom Heart online, another resource to help us as we journey together to weather the storms of life. It is an honor to be considered a contributor to this powerful tool to encourage women. Thank you Father.

Why is it worth your valuable time to spend time here.

 

​Mom Heart Online is spiritual harbor. We’re here not just to bring you in to stay, but also to send you out to sail. We are a place any mom can come to be encouraged, equipped, and enabled as a mother after God’s heart. We are here to inspire and engage your heart with great content that calls you to a high vision for your life as a mother, to create an online community of moms where you can network and interact with others who share your heart, to train you how to easily start and lead your own Mom Heart Group to continue in life what you find online, and to provide quality and original materials and resources that will fill your heart and mind with life-changing wisdom and truth.

 

Please take a moment to visit TODAY the brand new  Mom Heart website. Also, the button on the right side  of my blog  will take you directly to the source of encouragement which has inspired me over the past twelve years.

You can also find us on twitter and facebook.

Matthew 25:21 "His master replied, Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful for a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!"

This is my heart after this past weekend. I felt the Father saying,  "Pam, you have been faithful with the children I entrusted to you, and now I am giving you more...these beautiful hearts of these women. Pass on my greatness to them. Love them. Care for them."

My gut level emotional response...."But Master, I am afraid"

Yet, my heart with overwhelming joy says, "May it be to me as you have said."

Who will you disciple? Who is the Father continuously bringing into your path that you can share the secrets of the kingdom of God. Your willing heart can be difference in the heart and life of a precious mom and child.

Finally, for the freebie....visit wholeheart.org to find the book by Sally you are most interested in reading to grow in your journey as a mother. Leave a comment below or on my facebook page. I will announce the winner and book title on Monday.