Our first relationships in life are those formed in the home. The relationships we have with parents, siblings, grandparents, and other close relatives. I tell my kids that here, at home, we get to practice on each other how to treat one another so we can be a light to a lost world.
My hopes are that my children respond to one another and me in such a way that they are inviting to others. We don't always get that right.
I keep hoping after nineteen years of parenting that the "policing" years are almost over. Yet, regularly...sometimes more than once a day I am correcting my almost teenage son and administering discipline in some regard.
Presently, we are working on ridding the ugly element of "name calling" in our home. All four offenders have a unique disciplinary consequence awaiting them should they choose to name call someone.
I have come to believe that children, siblings, and even parents "act out" the most at home. Most feel the safest there to be who they are....the good, bad, and ugly.
In reality, when we belong to Christ though, "we are new creations...and have the mind and body of Christ indwelling us" to ward off reacting in our flesh when we are offended. However this is an ongoing part of our sanctification process as we mature.
Meanwhile, I have found the most needed character traits in the home are love and forgiveness. What does that look like in relationships in the home? I think it looks a lot like the parables of the lost sheep and the lost coin.
In Luke 15 Jesus tells us two stories that illustrate what has already been done for us as believers...we were lost and Christ sought us out. In both stories the shepherd and the woman go to great lengths to bring reconciliation by bringing the sheep back and finding the lost coin.
Realizing what lengths God has gone to procure us....to bring us into the family of God....to give us everlasting life and love illustrates what we are to do when there is separation between individuals in relationships. Because we realize what provisions have been made for us, we seek out individuals whom we have harmed or been harmed by and attempt to be reconciled.
Prayerfully, hearts are softened and turned toward one another. When we "hear each other out" I find not only is there greater understanding but also value is placed on the relationship.
We ward off bitterness which causes walls to build up between us and practice lots and lots of forgiveness over and over again. I find this necessary as a mom almost daily when one of the kids says or does something I deem disrespectful. There are days I want to throw in the towel, give up, let them go there on way. But the voice of truth reminds me...
"Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed
Yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken
Nor my convenant of peace be removed from you
Says the Lord
Who has compassion on you."
Isaiah 54:10
If God is going to keep on loving me and keep peace with me and I continue to fall short regularly of His commandments....how much more should I extend love and peace to those around me.
Relationships are work. They require careful attention and in my opinion, because human beings are involved, demand personal involvement with either face to face interaction or at a minimum a phone call. We press into those we love who are struggling so like the lost sheep or coin they are found and their value is celebrated.
Who are you pressing into to bring reconciliation? How are you valuing those around you the most. Does your wife feel as important as your boss? How about your kids?
